Would you share a room with your kids, if it meant a better sleep?

[Loopy Linda]

hi, well i was going to set up a poll but i don't know how, so please i would like opinions.

Dh and i are always arguing lately. stupid silly arguements.

we are both so tired. neither of us have had a decent sleep in so long. every night bub wakes up and joins us around 4am, we can handle this.

but then nearly every night our 5 yr old ends up in our bed aswell. he is restless and long and sweaty and kicks off covers.

i have been thinking about buying us a new bed as our current one is not very comfy, i thought if at least we are in a nice new bed even if squishy we shoudl get some better sleep.

i thought about a king size bed, but our bedroom in not really big enough, and i am quite impressed with my stash of queen size sheets/blankets/quilts etc.

so now to the point, this afternoon while arguing with dh he suggested i buy my new bed and put it in boys room, then i can sleep in there with both of them.

am i crazy to think this is a good idea? dh will have our bed to himself so he will sleep better and be happier. i will be in queen size bed with two kids, i think that will be plenty big enough for us 3.( the 3 of us did spend a night in a single when 5 yr old got in our bed and i snuck to his bed with bub then wile i was asleep he followed and i was too tired to move again)

so opinions please.

would you leave the bed with your husband to share a bed with your kids, if this means that everyone is sleeping better and happier?

on the armorous occassion i could spend time with husband, but even that is fast becoming distant memory at moment.

another thing is my 5 yr old on most nights refuses to go to bed, it is a nightmare getting him in there and i am hoping that if he thinks that is our bed maybe things will change. could be hoping a bit much here, but i am tired and i need a solution and maybe it is just lack of sleep talking but i think it might be a good idea right now and would like to hear what others think.

[Chunkydunks]

I've heard of many people doing what you suggested.

Us....we've only got one to deal with so its not as big a worry. ATM he's in with us (he wet his bed last night so the mattress is still airing). But this isn't an uncommon thing. At our old place he flatly refused to sleep in his bed. In the end we put a cot mattress beside our bed and thats where he slept. We were all happy with that solution.

With your DS not wanting to go to bed. Its normal. DS would make up all sorts of things about ghosts and monsters and all the rest to get out of going to bed. DH played up to it but i wised up to his tricks and didn't.

[Leeny]

I sleep in dd's room with her, dh sleeps in out room.. Even though she's right next door, I've left her in there once, and she woke up screaming and I didn't hear her.. My mum ended up coming in at 2am and waking me up cranky with me cause I didn't hear her.. I'm a heavy sleeper, but I find that when I sleep with her, I sleep lighter, but I'm more at ease because I'm right here.. I do however want to get a baby monitor so I can go back in my room!

I have another friend who sleeps in her room with her 1 yr old, and her dh sleeps in her eldest boys room who's nearly 4..

It's not a great arrangement, but they're not small forever.. I you don't see many teenagers who still sleep in their parents bed :p.. I do however get the "why would you ever do that?!?" comments.. Just be ready for it :D

[SorenLorensen]

what ever makes for a peaceful sleep :thumbsup:

[reAllytee]

what ever makes for a peaceful sleep :thumbsup:

:iagree:

If thats what will work then go for it !

[KaM]

if it works . . who cares!!

Especially it means everyone is getting better sleep because that will make for better moods and happier peoples!

[mummyjessie86]

Hmm :confused: That is a tricky one, as i have the opposite problem... DS is getting too big for the bassinette and needs to go to his room in the cot - But i'm the one who is having trouble sleeping in the room without him! :laughing: (I already measured the room... and the cot isn't going to fit :no: )

I do however agree that whatever makes for better sleep is a good solution...

[Loopy Linda]

i was same, but i rearranged room and managed to squeeze a cot in their, only been in room iwth brother for a month now i think and he is sleeping better in there

[pookiesossige]

We've done all the bed-swapping and bed-sharing to get a good night's sleep when the going gets tough as well... and it worked!

I just didn't raise it in conversation with anyone I suspected wouldn't 'get it'... other friends thought it was wonderful, just like we did :bee:

However- back to the OP here- sleep deprivation is a shocker for wearing everyone thin, isn't it... Forget about the 'marital bed' as the main place for making lurve :D:yes: Make time for each other once at other times, in other places ;) That and a bit of extra quality time together (do you guys own 'Scrabble'? :laughing:) is what you sound like you need to give your relationship some extra nourishment :valentine:

[Loopy Linda]

hi,

well i pretty much want to go buy a bed and sleep with kids tonight...ahh a full night!

and it is not so much that the marital bed don't get use cause kids in it, but more when we go to use it kids wake and want their mummy! and i grrrrrr, while hubby is desperately trying to ignore! but i can't preoceed once i hear a cry and he knows it is a lost cause then!

but yeah neither of us have any patience, we snip and talk nasty to each other. and i notice myself just saying something but i have that "tone", that is always a good argument starter!

[LizzardLover]

I'm not against the idea so to speak but I would try EVERYTHING else first.

When I was little my mum and dad used to tell me that if I wanted to come into their room at night I could do so, but I had to bring my pillow and they had a spare doona in there and I could sleep on the floor next to their bed.

I loved doing that and it meant that I got to be close to them, but they didnt have a wriggly kid in the bed!

Could you try something like that with your son? That way if he's comming in because he's scared in his room or something, he can still come in but if it's just because he wants to be in the bed with you it might discourage him from comming in (could he be jealous that the baby is in there and he's not?)

[Loopy Linda]

becs mum, i have tried him on the floor beside us, but he jsut stands beside the bed say " but i want cuddles, I love you mummy, i want cuddles " ( a grade kiss up here when he wants something)

i have been through taking hijm back to his bed, laying in his bed with him, sticker chart and rewards, extra attention when he has stayed in his own bed and heaps of praise for staying in his bed. sticker chart and rewards worked best but as soon as the rewars stopped it didn't tkae long for him to be back in our bed.

but i think you are right about the baby being in there, i am sure he sees it as gordy is allowed but not him, sometimes he wants to be cuddling gordy other times he wants to be cuddling me.

that is probably why i think the three of us in a bed might work.

but i thought of a down side today. probably should have thought about it before.... but i love my little kisses goodnight and cuddle before sleep with my husband. i don't think we could sleep with out a little kiss and snuggle first. so still considering it and looking for other ideas.

[Loopy Linda]

sorry i did mean to also add that he is not getting scared or cold and coming to our bed. i seriously think it has been going on so long it is just habit now. his only excuse for coming to our bed it that he wants cuddles, and i have many a time rolled over and refused to cuddle him ( i was sooo mean) jsut to see if that would stop him.

[Myztik]

I spend many a night on the fold out sofa with DS2 as it's the only way I get a decent sleep. DF sleeps through anything so he doesn't really care lol. I did have DS2's cot mattress on the floor next to my bed but it's too cold for that now so we set up camp in the loungeroom.

[neostudded]

I would do anything if it mean a full nights sleep.
My son sleeps in my bed full time, but different things work for different families, so do what works for you.

[tired*mummy]

I would do it if it meant we all slept better.
DD1 is really bad when it comes to sleeping in her own bed/room. If she falls asleep in there she will wake up crying & wont go back to sleep or she will come into my room & wake me up so alot of the time she sleeps on the floor in my room on one of those little kids fold out couches with her doona & pillows.
I find it saves the arguements at bed time for her but then again i'm still trying to get her to sleep in her own room. Sometimes i just want her to go to sleep because she has school & dont want her to be tired so i just let her sleep wherever she is actually going to sleep & not cry/sook about it.

[bootiful]

we had a similar issue with DD a few weeks ago, she would just wake up @ 2am and coming into our bed, we tried all kinds of things eg: more blankets, brighter night light, etc and nothing worked..i think she was just wanting cuddles....we put a chain lock on her door which keeps it open about 10cm enough for her to call out to us but keeps her in, since then she hasn't woken up in the middle of the night cause i guess she figures out she can't get out. If she wants us she calls out and we go to her.

i understand this wont work for kids toilet training @night but she isn't at that stage yet, when she is well we could be back to square one :laughing:

[xlouxloux]

i wouldnt do it personally. i think it will put a big stigma inbetween u n ur husband if u dont share a bed. i do think maybe ur 5 yr old is jealous of the baby being there.

sorry havent got any ideas but i think try anything and everything before resorting to sharing a bed with them

:) hope things improve for u whichever u choose to do

[Jenko]

Yep I sure would and we do.

My DD says she likes to sleep with us coz she needs someone 'real' to cuddle :laughing::goodvibes:

DS has been sick with a cold atm and DH has been taking him from his cot into DD's bed at about 3am when he wakes. So DD and I are in our bed (the queen) and DS and DH are in the single. In the morning he brings him back into our bed and we all wake up together. It's not forever...hopefully lol. But while it works we'd do anything for sleep!

[SEA]

Yes :yes: I think you should try anything just to get good night sleeps. Besides kids won't be kids for very long, enjoy the cuddles and kisses with them while you can.

We are fortunate to have a big bedroom to fit two cots in (and probably another one if we wanted another bub).
Our girls lay on the queen sized bed with us until they fall asleep then we move them to their cots, DD1 sleeps through most nights but DD2 still wakes for breastfeeds so we co-sleep half of the night with her.
I know of a few people that frown on this arrangement but it works for us.

[tyler's mum]

Tyler sleeps in my bed every nite. I think that if i was'nt single i would try a little bit harder for her to sleep in her own room.

[Loopy Linda]

thanks everyone,

well you have convinced me!

i tried to talk to dh about it last night while we were in bed but he cuddled me tighter and told me i am not going anywhere.

we are going to try a cam stretcher beside our bed for 5yr old. he can come in, i will give him a kiss and cuddle then he can sleep there beside us!

fingers crossed it works