Custody HELP

[Eggflip]

ANYONE CAN ANSWER THIS TOO! I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE SINGLE STEP PARENT OR WHAT - ANY HELP AND ANSWERS ARE APPRECIATED.

What happens when the "exs" mum reckons she is going to take me to court to get more visitation of my son.

They already have him every 2nd Sunday from about 9.30 or earlier to 5 or 5.30.

How much more will they get?

His dad is a loser who doesnt spend the whole time with him anyway.

She wants overnight but I stopped them as my DS was uncontrolable when he got home from there. They dont give him sleeps and feed him up on chocolate.

Do i get a Solicitor? How much are they? Can I represent myself as I dont have enough money for one as we have just brought a house.

[mum1986]

have you spoken to legal aid? if you go to them they should be able to help. explain to them that your son is oncontrolable when he comes back from overnight visits and why, they should be able to arrange mediation or something like that so an arrangment can be reached that suits everyone. and if she does take you to court for it legal aid should represent you.
i wouldn't suggest trying to represent yourself, as these cases can get very emotional and you will need someone who can remain calm and supportive. give them a call and see what they say.

good luck with it all, i hope it works out well for you, and well done for letting her see him as much as she does a lot of people wouldn't and you are doing the right thing. good on you.

[sunnyflower]

I would try and get legal aid,you should be eligible if you are a single parent.

[Eggflip]

I not a single parent. I have a new partner for the last 2 years and my daughter is his bio child. Thats why I am so stressed because I cant afford a lawyer because we just brought a house.

I dont even know where to start. He is supposed to go there next Sunday but now I dont know whether to send him because its turned nasty.

It all started when he was dropped home late on sunday after being at the footy at 5.30 in the middle of winter with shorts and a normal jumper on, and he had had the flu all week. Things that are common sense I shouldnt have to remind them.

[mum1986]

you should still qualify for legal aid. when i was with my ex he was earning $2000 pf and i still qualified. things like that, i would start a little diary of them and then at least you will have something to back you up if she does take you to court

[LizzardLover]

I dont even know where to start. He is supposed to go there next Sunday but now I dont know whether to send him because its turned nasty.

It all started when he was dropped home late on sunday after being at the footy at 5.30 in the middle of winter with shorts and a normal jumper on, and he had had the flu all week. Things that are common sense I shouldnt have to remind them.

Ok to be really blunt and honest, if this goes to mediation you are going to have to give him *something* more. It would be rare that you go there and come out with the same agreement.

I was told that you cant dictate what your ex is to feed the child unless there are allergies. If he choses to give the child junk you really cant stop him, it's not a good parenting choice but ultimately it's not child abuse. He is the father and can chose what to feed his child.

Also in the meantime DONT with hold any visitations, this will just make you look bad and possibly vindictive in mediation/at court.

Contact Legal aid and see what they would charge you. They usually work on a sliding scale and so while you might have to pay, it might not be much.

The better option I think would be to approach your ex with a proposal you think would work. You might have to build up to overnight visits slowly or something. If you can come to an agreement you can lodge that with the courts to be the legal visitation agreement.

[Eggflip]

Thats the thing I dont actually see the ex very rarely anyway most of its done by his mum. She is the one who wants him overnight, ex wont even stay there.

Will someone from the court go there to check on beds and stuff?

[MrsDribbleDrawers]

call the legal aid info line, they are very helpful, and can answer your questions - also call the relationships australia helpline, the one for the mediation for families, they are very helpful, and know the legal stuff so can advise on what might work for you... I know grandparents have more of a "say" now, so I'd be offering to sit with her in a mediation session "best interest of the child" and all that!

[WorkingClassMum]

As per close friends who've just been through something similar - Grandparents who have had regular contact and maintain regular contact now have rights in the eyes of the Family Court.

That being said, they do not overrule the rights of the custodial parent, and do not exceed the rights of the non-custodial parent.

As they have had regular contact and maintained regular contact they would probably be allowed to continue to have access on a regular basis.

I doubt they'd get much more custody than they already do - but I'm not a judge.

I'd suggest mediation with them, spell out what your willing to conceed and see what they'd want. You don't want them to get nasty and bring his bio-dad into the picture - which could go pear shaped real quick.

Maybe if they want overnight - once a month would be reasonable, and every second sunday. I'd also chat to them about diet etc, and explain that whilst he's not allergic or intolerent, he displays bad behaviour after over-indulguing and that's detrimental to his long term well being.

I understand that it'd be very frustrating to have this constnt interuption in your lives, but your son has the right to know his extended family even if his father is too ignorant to see what he's missing out on.

It'd be easier for everyone if you all maintain a cordial relationship.

I'm very sorry that this is all so horrible and hard for you. It makes it stressful for everyone and that's sad.

I hope you can work it out so that everyone is as happy as they can be:hugs::hugs:

Maybe chat to legal aid if your still not happy. Good luck what ever happens

[Jakois]

I went into a long and drawn out Family Court Hearing when I first seperated from my XDH. Most of which was instigated by his mother as well..

Just a few Q's.. Does your Ex live with his mother, or is the situation you described in addition to your Ex's access?
Do you have any agreements put into place at all?

[Mum2Bella]

i would talk to legal aide,(you should get a solictior free through them)

grandparents do have rights but i dont think as much as the other parents.

if you child is going every sunday or every 2nd sunday really thats enough time IMO.

how old is you child?
is there other reason why you might not want your child to have over nights vist,say once a fortnight on a satdy night maybe drop your child of at 5.30 that night n pick him up sunday BUT you n your child need to feel comfy with that idea,

our daughter used to go to her grandparents every 2nd weekend

[cinnamonbear]

yes these days the grandparents do have some rights in the family law

its not as much as the biological parent but there is still some.

l