How do you cope?

[Chunkydunks]

After our HUGE argument the other night DH and I have com to the agreement that he can look for contract work in 3D. I know this will mean a heap more money and the chance to eventually buy our own home so in a way how could I say no.

My problem is that some of these contracts can be for up to 12 months with really only a small amount of time off. I'm really not will to uproot our lives again and thats why I've said contract work. I just know that things will be hard while he's away.

For those of you in a similar situation how do you cope when he's away? I know things with DS will just fall into place but how do you deal with not having DP/DH there next to you of a night. Not having him there to comfort you when you sad. DH was in hospital for 2 nights and I was so glad when he got home because it meant I could cuddle up to him that night. He's been in hospital for 5 nights before and that was really tough to cope with.

How do you do it?

[Chunkydunks]

Anyone?

[3blue&1pink]

When DP used to work away.. he would go away for up to two weeks at a time.. once a month at least.. I missed him badly and so did the kids because before taking on that job he had 6 months at home full time with the kids.

The only way I 'coped' was having the boys in my bed.. they ALWAYS sleeped with me.. our days would go normally like they would with him there but it was our nights that changed having him away.. and it got to the point that when I would drop him at the airport I would turn my phone off.. talking to him just upset me and reminded me more that he wasent home.

But that was just 2 weeks of every month or second month..not 12 months..

:hugs:

I am sorry that I couldn't help more!

[Chunkydunks]

I know with the 12 month contracts he'll get breaks but i just don't know how often or how long they'll be. I spose it will all depend on the contract. Whenever he's been away before DS was always slept in my bed. At least there is someone there beside me.

Its going to be tough but its what he wants to do and because I'm not willing to move again so soon then this is really the only solution.

[Kazamataz]

Is there a possibility of him getting a job where he's home often?
For example a 2 and 1 roster?

Jesse and I both couldn't do a long roster and thats why he only does 7days on 7 days off.
However I understand not everyone is that lucky.

Do you have a rough idea of how often he could be home?

Maybe you guys could make a deal if he wants to work away then he needs to find a job that will let him be home X amount of time.

[Kazamataz]

and it got to the point that when I would drop him at the airport I would turn my phone off.. talking to him just upset me and reminded me more that he wasent home.


WOW sounds like th FIFO life wasn't for you.

I'd feel worse if Jesse left for two weeks and I didn't speak to him at all.
Than if he was away for two weeks and we got to speak to him everyday.

[Chunkydunks]

We've spoken about it more and he's planning more on the short term contracts. Usually 3 months. With this industry its not likely that he'll get a 2 weeks on 1 week off roster. The hours are usually just Mon-Fri. If he gets one close to here like Sydney then he can come home for weekends and I can go up there from Thursday-Sunday. i spose the same would go for Melbourne. In cases where he got a contract in Brisbane we'd work something out so we could see each other every now and then.

[Kazamataz]

We've spoken about it more and he's planning more on the short term contracts. Usually 3 months. With this industry its not likely that he'll get a 2 weeks on 1 week off roster. The hours are usually just Mon-Fri. If he gets one close to here like Sydney then he can come home for weekends and I can go up there from Thursday-Sunday. i spose the same would go for Melbourne. In cases where he got a contract in Brisbane we'd work something out so we could see each other every now and then.

So the work is generally Mon-Fri?
And there is nothing closer to home?

3 months is still a long time to be apart, and flying all around the country could get costly.

Is their the possibility of him finding a job that would pay for him to fly home every weekend?

That would be a lot more manageable than him being away for months at a time.

Is his work common?
I know you said you didn't want to move again, but is there anywhere in Australia where he could do this kind of work in the one town/city all the time? (so you don't have to be apart ever)

When you take in to account how much you'll spend on flights, is it worth him working away?
Will he get paid that much more?

Ok sorry thats like a million and one questions.

[Chunkydunks]

So the work is generally Mon-Fri? yeah and possible some weekends depening on how close it is to publishing deadlines and things like that

And there is nothing closer to home? Sydney is the closest. Thats 3 hours away so that isn't too bad.

Is their the possibility of him finding a job that would pay for him to fly home every weekend? Thats something that we'll have to talk about when the contracts come up. If he's in Sydney then he'll just drive home of a weekend or something. Same with melbourne cos its not all that far away.

Is his work common? Contracts are in his field.

I know you said you didn't want to move again, but is there anywhere in Australia where he could do this kind of work in the one town/city all the time? (so you don't have to be apart ever) We literally just spoke about this. If he gets a full time possition worth enough from a contract then I will be more willing to move. If thats the case it would be either Brisbane or Melbourne.

When you take in to account how much you'll spend on flights, is it worth him working away? Thats if he does fly. He's not great on plane, buses, trains anything like that because of his accident. He's in the process of getting his bike licence and then we'll buy a bike for him to ride back and forth on. We worked out it would cost around $30 if fuel was at $2 a litre for him to get from here to Brisbane and we have family and friends at different places that he could stay at along the way. Thats provided he gets s big enough break to do something like that. And there are always reasonable breaks at the end of contracts.

Will he get paid that much more? More than he's getting paid ATM? We're both on benifits so definately. Full time in the industry is at least $60,000pa and contract workers generally get more than that. Some contracts he's seen have been worth the $60,000 for the 3 months.

[Kazamataz]

Well sounds like Sydney would be a good option being only 3 hours away.

:fingerscrossed: He gets a job that is close to home and allows him to see you guys regularly.
Or even better that he gets full time work and never has to be away.

If he does end up being away, you have lots and lots of support in here.
There are a few mums who have partners working on long contract.
great big :hugs: to you :D

[Chunkydunks]

Thanks for your help Kara. Its been good bouncing ideas off someone in a similar situation. Another reason I'm not all that keep on moving so soon again for is that my family are here. I've finally got help for when things go wrong (like him ending up in hospital and me having no licence). I knw they would help me out if this happened too.

[Laksa]

my husband works FIFO and has for years. i lived alone for quite a while so i am used to sleeping by myself (actually i prefer it at times, hubby snores!). now i have my son in bed with me, anyway... can't get the little bugger out lol!

sometimes it IS hard, i have had really bad days with my son where i just wanted DH home but thats his career and i accept it. it means i don't have to go back to work until we choose to.

we talk on the phone at least twice a day and he is often in his office where i can msn him. he only goes away for 8 days at a time and we have agreed that the MAX time away is 2 weeks. he is thinking of getting a job in perth for a few months net year when we have two babies. it will be a pay cut but my sanity is far more important than money.

there are PROS to this life:
he comes home for 6 full days where we get lots of family time and i get some sleep-ins :yelclap:
the money is good.
he couldnt progress his career if he wasnt on a mine site.
i get to spend lots of time on the net when he's away haha.


good luck :)

[Kazamataz]

Thanks for your help Kara. Its been good bouncing ideas off someone in a similar situation. Another reason I'm not all that keep on moving so soon again for is that my family are here. I've finally got help for when things go wrong (like him ending up in hospital and me having no licence). I knw they would help me out if this happened too.

No worries :thumbsup:
Yeah having family close is really important.
We don't have any family near by but having said that we aren't a close family.
Even when we did live in the same town as my in laws we only saw them once or twice a year.

I really hope he gets a job close by, so you can be near your family and see him on the weekends.