Is he behind or am I stressing

[Chunkydunks]

I noticed a thread the other day about how high can a 4 year old count. I read throught the post and decided not to post myself because in all honesty i was a bit embarrassed. DS can barely make it up to 10. He recognises his number and letters though he just doesn't know the order. Sometimes I think its a bit of lazyness from us and him but others i truely wonder if he might be having trouble. He knows his shapes and things to look at them but to draw them they look nothing like the shapes (except for circles). He's not even close to writing, he doesn't like to draw, paint, anything like that. I'm just worried that I'm failing my boy and I don't want to do that.

So are there other 4 year olds that didn't know their alphabet and couldn't count real high that went on to be up there with the other kids? Am I just stressing too much or should I get some help with him?

[DQ]

Every child is different. They all develop at their own pace. I have 5 kids, and every single one of them have done something different to the one before.

If your DS goes to pre-school or daycare, maybe speak to the carers there and ask their opinion?

HTH :)

[DoulaRobyn]

I think that you are stressing just a tad ;)

I have a four year old and she is 'normal' or 'average' I would say. Her three year old sister can do something she can't do yet - as in drawing recognisable people, recognising colours and shades of colours and also climbing. But this does not mean that my 4 year old is behind because there are other things she excels in.

If you are worried about your 4 year old acedemic skills sit with them for a little while each day and work on the alphabet and numbers and such. Try and make it fun - like with songs and actions because they will catch on quicker that way.

I have actually not taught my younger children to say their 'ABC's' because I did this with my son and when he was in kinder he had a difficult time because he did not know the sounds of the letters - the ability to say the letter and know the sound is a different thing. You learn how to spell by sounding out words so knowing the letter is not the most important thing. Instead I am teaching my children to read small three letter words and to recognise different letters as the 'sound' at the front of 'uncle' and that it is the same sound as in the word umbrella and unicorn. Little ones catch on fast, don't you worry.

If I may ask, has your child attended any preschool or daycare? - the children who do attend 9-5pm preschool five days a week have a bit of a head start acedemically I think but soon, in kindergarten it all evens out. --- my three youngest children have not attended preschool but the eldest does go to occasional care once a week and we attend playgroup too once a week.

Learning is just repetition and practice.

(I could keep going on but I shall stop - sorry, must be getting tired!)

[our little treasures]

According to our MCH blue books at 3 your child should be able to count to 10. Is your child at kinder? I would be asking the kinder teacher. Both my children could count to 10 by 2 but maybe your child just needs a little encouragement.

Don't stress about it

[Chunkydunks]

He does go to pre school 2 days a week. I'll have a talk to the ladies there and see what they thing. He is bright in other ways. He's very good with hand eye co-ordination, he's facinated by the human body and how it works. He's the only 4 year old I know how gets a sore tracia instead of a sore throat:laughing:

[Chunkydunks]

According to our MCH blue books at 3 your child should be able to count to 10. Is your child at kinder? I would be asking the kinder teacher. Both my children could count to 10 by 2 but maybe your child just needs a little encouragement.

Don't stress about it


He was quite comfortably counting up to 8 by 2 and then we pregressed to 10 but for some reason he just can't do so anymore. We try to encorage it but he doesn't seem interested.

[mum1986]

you may have a doctor on your hands there. my ds can count to 20 and knows all the numbers and letters, but you ask him to draw a shape and his squares look like squiggles and his circles vaguely resemble a squished triangle.

maybe try and find a way to teach him that is exciting for him, with my ds it was counting bugs. if your ds is into the human body then maybe a visit to the library will help, you can get a book on the human body and encourage him to count the ribs.

it sounds like he is a very bright child (sore trachea thats funny) but probably just finds numbers and letters boring. i know my ds loves numbers and patterns but if i try to introduce words or shapes he is off with the fairys.

[Myliam]

He does go to pre school 2 days a week. I'll have a talk to the ladies there and see what they thing. He is bright in other ways. He's very good with hand eye co-ordination, he's facinated by the human body and how it works. He's the only 4 year old I know how gets a sore tracia instead of a sore throat:laughing:


Ha Ha. Sore Tracia. I love it.

I always just let my daughter focus on what she's interested in. This meant instead of learning letters at 4 we did geography. She wanted to know where in australia her dad was (he works away) and where her cousins lived etc.

If your son knew his numbers before, he may still know them now, he's just not interested in "performing" them. By the end of year one children are expected to know their numbers from 1 to 20. That means you've got two whole years to go for him to learn his numbers. Don't stress about it, but do ask his preschool to address it in his programming. That way they can devise some number activites into their daily programmes.

I also found my girls respond better when they don't realise I'm teaching them something. Instead of sitting down to work on numbers, I have them help me in other activites. Count the oranges into the bag at the shops, how many light posts do we walk past before we reach home, that sort of thing.

Good luck!

[FishFace]

Please dont worry.

It sounds like he is developing in other areas and that one has slipped from his mind.

Have you tried writing a letter lately?
I cant do it after so long of just typing, I have lost my writing skills!
He is the same. He is learnign other things.
It will come back and its only new in our society that kids learn all this BEFORE school!

[SassyMummy]

Though mine is younger than yours, I'm recognising similar traits in her - she's nearly 3, and while she can recognise letters and numbers and is very good at picking up things (I don't mean like, with her hands...lol), and talking and stuff...

But she cannot really count, she cannot draw... she doesn't even try to draw things with meaning, she just scribbles and then decides what it might look like afterwards. Most of the time it looks like scribble, and so she even asks ME what it is. lol.

Thing is, she can COLOUR IN quite well, keeping pretty well within the lines, and when colouring in particular characters, making sure the colours are correct (for example, I got into trouble for trying to colour Ariel's bra in something other than purple...lol).

I've just assumed it's like with adults - some are better at certain things than others. I can't expect her to be good with everything... I mean, I know some adults who can barely manage to draw a stick figure, or write neatly or even spell... so I'm not going to expect anything more from my almost 3-year-old.

I'm not very great with maths, for example. I'm not wired that way - I'm no good with logic, so Science and Maths are pretty... well, I'd have to work pretty hard to figure it all out.

The more creative things though, art, English, etc etc, I'm so much better at. Just naturally.

I'd try to teach him, sure, but I wouldn't stress too much yet. :)

[kezzaskids]

He is only 4 dont worry about it. In todays society we try to shove so much information into our kids. I would be worried if he wasnt interested in playing in the sand or riding a trike or climbing and running around. School is for formal education and as a teacher I oftern see little johnny start year 1 reading and writing and little susie not being able to recognise her own name. By the end of the year we usually find they are all pretty much the same with only a few exceptions on either side. Dont stress, enjoy him being a 4yo as long as you can. Just PLAY.

[NeilR]

If you are stressed or concerned make an appt and go and get your concerns checked out. It is easy enough to do and the stress can really get a person down and you are busy enough being a parent. The other thing is that services are quite good accross the country for a pre-schooler and this cannot be said to be the case for a child attending school...so if you are going to check things out do it now. If it is nothing then you can relax and pat yourself on the back and say you did the right thing. If there is something to be concerned about then you can stop stressing that you might not be doing the right thing because you will already have done it and can give yourself a pat on the back that you have caught things before school entry.

[Gillygirl]

I am a trained primary and early childhood teacher. So many children who are 4 can count but they have no idea what it means so don't worry. Every child develops differently. The fact that he can recognise the numbers, letters and shapes shows that he already has some basic maths concepts that he can build on in the future. These concepts are important to get and be built on before writing them. Don't worry if he isn't interested in learning to write yet, it's not important. Talk about numbers, point them out in his everyday life, sing counting song and hand rhymes, do plenty of hands on things with him. You could have him help set the table, telling him he needs a knife and fork for everyone. See if he get the right amount out. I fhe doesn't go through it with him. Tell him to get a set for mum first, then dad, etc. He will get more out these kinds of activities. Let me know if you want any other ideas.

[mum2bubba]

Hayley doesn't know how to count to ten properly either, she gets muddled up sometimes, she gets to about 5 and then the rest she is unsure of or its not in order (its 12345891 or something like that) she recognises all single didgit numbers and ten (all double didits are either 10 or she'll say the two numbers, like if its 30 she'll say 3 0)

We are working on the alphabet, she recognises some letters and tries to sing but isn't there just yet.

As others have said all children learn at their own pace. I'm sure theres a few your child knows how to do that others can't just yet.

She can't write yet either, try to get her to write her name but she won't. She wrote the letter B the other day but I think it was accidentle (scribble) but anyway.....

She only started drawing circles this year and also started drawing faces about a month or so ago (eyes, nose, mouth and eyebrows), arms and legs (that stick out of the head LOL) and also draws hair too.

[lovebeingmummy]

I think your probably over worrying. He sounds like he is interested in other areas:thumbsup:

[Ky]

Up until my ds started school he wouldn't even pick up a pen and attempt to write or draw ... he has just had his first school report and he is near the top of his class even though most of the kids are close to 12 months older than him!

You have no idea how they are going to be achievement wise from one day to the next!

As for knowing the order of letters ... don't worry about that. Recognising them is half of the struggle and your DS is doing that! Most schools use a phonetic alphabet (kids school starts a,m,s,t,i,f,d,r,o,g,l ...) so as to teach them similar looking letters and similar sounds at different times and avoid confusion, so the old a,b,c,d,e,f,g ... has gone out of the window until they need to learn alphabetical order in approx year 2.

Counting can just be included in what you do in everyday life - it will jsut click with him one day, so again, I wouldn't worry.

From some of your previous posts, I think he sounds like a pretty normal little man ... you can be proud of the great job you are doing as a Mum.

[LittleMissyMoo]

Don't stress! The thing people don't understand about counting and the alphabet is that its all rote learning. Its like when you hear something said enough times that you can repeat it from memory.

I would concentrate on teaching your DS the meaning of the numbers/letters you want him to say. Eg pointing to the amount of objects that he counts, saying the phonetics of the alphabet (how capital A and small a are said). This way he's learning what he's talking about and relating it to real objects/symbols and patterns, which does not happen with repetative counting.

Put 5 blocks in a line and point to each block as you count, maybe guide his finger with yours. Take one away and repeat. Add two and repeat. Put them all in a bucket and ask him to take out two. This is all concrete learning.

Try not to worry, you're doing a great job with him ;)

[Ana Gram]

Don't worry. Kids are often better at things they are interested in. At the moment, numbers may not be that interesting to him. He'll get there in the end :yes: