Crazy to have a third?

[Mittys]

confused: I'm hoping for some insight regarding adding baby # 3 to our family. I am a SAHM with dd 6 & ds 3. My dh travels out of the state during the week for his job and I already feel stretched to the limit in managing the two kiddos alone. Most days I feel guilty that I haven't given them all the attention they need. However, My desire to have a third is so strong, but know it would be very hard adding another, especially because my dh may travel more (or maybe less) in the future with his job. My thoughts are that other women are in similiar situations and can do it, and I don't want to regret not having a third later in life. My dh is content with 2. I feel the pressure to decide as my youngest is almost 4. Help...any thoughts? Thanks!

[aardvark]

Don't feel pressure because of the age of your youngest.

I have a 15y.o., a 5y.o and a 3 m.o.

I could have waited longer for #3 quite happily apart from my own age.

You might find that if you wait until your 4.y.o. has started school, you won't feel quite so stretched, and be more able to manage, even if you DH is away frequently.

[draught]

I can't give much advice as I am still pregnant with #3 but I am in a similar position - husband away more than home, and two toddlers - 3 and 1 - and wanting another just doesn't make sense.....but there is this drive deep inside me that wants another so we decided to see what happened - and got pregnant the same day. I think mother nature was telling me something! I have other friends who have said that they knew that their family was finished - the desire for more was gone. So if you think you want another - you will be fine - after all you have raised two successfully so far!:thumbsup:

[Kells]

Hi, I understand your pressure feelings!! My DS is 5 and DD will be 4 next mth, and I wanted a third, but felt bad cos of the age gap, time limits etc. - I am 'content' with my two, but felt like giving it another shot. Just before Xmas we decided to 'give it a shot' and got pg straight away but m/c. Then the idea was stuck in my head and I gave myself (and the powers that be) until Easter to fall pg, otherwise I'm not meant to have another. And last week found out I'm pg.
As people have said to me, if you think you'll regret not having one more that having one, then do it.

Good luck with the decision. i know I haven't really been much help, but wanted you to know I understand.

Its also hard to make the decision cos you're getting to the easier stage of your kids, and you'd need to go back again..(this is my concern right now :laughing: ) But as I said, if the idea has been planted, it's really hard to let it go....

[mumoftwoboys2005]

Mittys,

I understand where you are coming from. I have 2 boys (7 and 10 months) big difference in ages because of PCOS. My DH wouldn't mind a 3rd but he is happy with the 2 we have. I, on the other hand have such a strong desire for a 3rd baby that it just isn't funny. I don't have the problem of DH being away from home, but he sleeps in the spare room as he goes to work at 1am and doesn't want to wake me up. He also says I snore. lol. At the end of each day I wonder myself have I spent enough time with my big boy as the baby is still very demanding because of his age. I am sitting here at 9pm with my eyes hanging out of my head but this is the only time during the day I get to myself. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Only you will know if you can do, but as you say, you see other women do it and they don't have any problems. After all, you have done it twice so the 3rd time will seem like a breeze.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

[Funkychicken]

We have a 7yo and a 5yo and a 4 mth old. We had actually stopped after our first two and we were as surprised as anyone that no.3 was on the way. Right up until the moment he plopped out I was unsure about all those things you have mentioned. I was anxious that I wouldn't cope with three. When our bub arrived I had the most overwhelming and amazing feeling of rightness (a real word?). An utter perfectness in our lives. It's really hard to explain but I think I actually had a moment of pure enlightenment. It was exquisite!

We couldn't have planned it better if we had tried. And the advice from Aardvark about waiting until your other two are at school-it's spot on. Hamish arrived xmas eve, giving us at least 5 weeks at home (no school runs etc..) to get to know one another. When school began our DD started prep and although losing her to the rigours of school was hard, it meant I could have Hamish all to myself all day! It's amazing-like having my first baby all over again except this time I am not interested in any of the stuff that seemed so important with our first bub. No offence intended at anyone with a first bub as I was exceptionally anal with our first born but this time all those cute outfits and perfect home presentation etc.. it's all so totally irrelevant. So I have a baby all to myself to goo and gaa over plus I'm totally relaxed about the whole thing. If you do decide to have a third, you'll not regret a bit of it! :D

[aardvark]

When school began our DD started prep and although losing her to the rigours of school was hard, it meant I could have Hamish all to myself all day! It's amazing-like having my first baby all over again except this time I am not interested in any of the stuff that seemed so important with our first bub.

So I have a baby all to myself to goo and gaa over plus I'm totally relaxed about the whole thing. If you do decide to have a third, you'll not regret a bit of it! :D

I'll second all of that. My DD started Prep a week after DS was born, and I have just baby at home during the day, and honestly, it is just pure enjoyment, and I'm one very relaxed Mummy. It just seems so easy the third time around.

[vanillabean]

I feel exactly the same. I have a beautiful boy and a girl. I feel so lucky and I'm feeling content also. I am worried about spoiling the "balance" I feel right now. I however have days where I think it would be nice to have another. My hubby is more sure than me that 2 is it. I don't know!

[Funkychicken]

I'll second all of that. My DD started Prep a week after DS was born, and I have just baby at home during the day, and honestly, it is just pure enjoyment, and I'm one very relaxed Mummy. It just seems so easy the third time around.
So, so true! Not easy in the sense that it is any less work, just easy in a relaxed sense. Baby cries? Pick him up and cuddle. Need to go on school run? Chuck him in the car and away we go. Dinner not on in time? So what, we have toasted sandwiches with no stress involved. Washing needs doing? Nah, cuddle the baby instead! It's the kind of motherhood that I envisaged first time around but was too shocked to have.:D