View Full Version : Going from career to family.........
Hi all - I don't really post much but I just need to let out some stuff. I work part time (3 days/week) and have been with my employer for 8 years. Before I had my children I was very career orientated and as soon as my little buddles of joy came then they were my first priority (as they should be). My work has been very supportive and gives me time off when needed to be with my kids if they are sick or any other reason. I also like the balance I have with work and my family.
Anyway, because I am part time, I find that people who are full time are getting more opportunities and then I feel guilty because sometimes I would like my career to go further and then feel guilty because for that instant I wanted something else other than spending time with my children and family. Does anyone else feel like this.
I know it is weird and I hope no-one thinks I am a bad person for feeling this way.
I think its natural for you to want to excel at your job and succeed and yes have the same opportunities as your co workers.
However I have no desire LOL to take on any extra work (as I too work 3 days a week) and would really love to be a full time SAHM:D ) even though I would probably go insane within a month LOL but thats my dream!
I dont think your selfish or weird I think your obviously a person who loves what they do and wants to achieve!
You sound like a great role model for your children:smiliedance:
I also work part time - I think that it is a delicate and careful balancing act to find the right mixture between work and home and I don't know if anyone ever finds the perfect blend. So don't feel bad - every working mother I know (and most of my friends are working mothers) have the same dilemmas. I view the decision not to advance (and it has been my decision not to apply for promotion) as simply maintaining the status quo at a time when my children need me - in a few years if I want to keep climbing the ladder I will do it knowing that they had the best of me in their youngest years. Still - I suspect there will be guilt and balancing acts then too......maybe when they have left home it will be easier???:laughing:
Watching others forge ahead where you may have gone is one of the realities of choosing part-time work for many women.:rolleyes:
Whilst it may be a reality, no-one said you had to like it.;)
I'm starting to view it differently...I'm looking at taking control back as to where I can reach and what I achieve. That may mean moving out of my present work situation. So be it.
I think what will give me satisfaction is if I've been able to do more than just tread water, earning a living: if I can be setting an example for my children that Mummies can climb a ladder of their own goals. I'm realising that the balance between being the type of Mum that you want to be and being the Woman that you want to be is not an easy one, but not an impossible one.
Chart your goals, map out your plan - for your personal, your family and your professional life...and go for it!
Your professional life does not have to be stuck in a rut if you pull yourself out of it, look around and adjust your plan.
I don't really want to say anything to upset you, but I am going to have to come back to work full time, because of the nature of my work, so in that aspect you are a much better mum than I am, but if you want to progress a bit further in your career, there is nothing wrong with that, just remember it is not the number of hours that you spend with your children, but the quality of that time, regardless of which path you take your family will be OK, cause they have a loving mother like you. it will always be though, and you will have to constantly adjust to it, it is just the nature of being a working mum.
(P.S well I too am feeling guillty about it, but I keep telling my self, what I just told you, and hope for the best)
:D Thank you so much for your responses. The guilt I have been feeling from wanting a career plus my family has been almost unbearable. I honestly didn't think I would feel this way once I had my children. I thought that all my focus would be is my family but I thought I was so selfish when I started to crave to return to my working life.
Your advice has made me look at things very differently and I really appeciate it. I have two wonderful children and an amazing husband. I just need to find that balance and I feel I can do that now.
Whether or not you are a SAHM, full time working mum or part time working mum, you still have a family that is your first priority and everyone is a better mum then everyone else because of those little things that you show your own children.
I'm sort of "over" the whole career thing now. Been there done that and now I want to be a SAHM.
But then again, I have got to the point where I can do some work from home if I want to and I probably will take up the oportunity, just to keep my hand in and also to earn some of my own money.
My cousin is the opposite, her career was just taking off and she found out she was pregnant with her 4th kid. She's spewing and she is working herself to the bone. She's 36 weeks and still working 3 jobs, seven days a week. I think part of this is to make a point though, her hubby was supposed to get the snip and he didn't.
She has THREE hernias and has been in a car accident (rushing from one place to the next) and she still won't stop.
Sorry, bit off topic.
My mum always worked and I hated it as a child. She was never at any school functions or sports meets because she had to work. So I am going to do it differently, but I didn't want to miss out on a career, so I waited to have the baby.
One day my kid will probably be on a discussion board somewhere complaining about his old mum who never went out and was always poking into his business.
Ya can't win!!
I was a little in two minds about the whole career thing too....
I'd been applying for jobs just up until recently because I am getting sick of my current employer and a lot of unpleasantness within the firm.....
But I think I've just decided that I'm going to finish up a little earlier, and then return to 3 days a week rather than leave 2 wks before my due date and returning to full time within 3 mths.....
I suppose I'm in a good position though... I am a skilled and valued employee so I have a fair bit of leeway with them not wanting to lose me... but I am also currently studying and want to change my career path within the next few years... so this is really the perfect opporunity to get the most out of my employer and also have that time at home with bubs while she's young and some extra time for me to devote to studies....
I'm thinking once the little one is nearer to school age then it will be time to go gung-ho with building the career...
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