A bit worried for these kids

[kayla Lilyz mum]

My cousin ( who i am not talking to), her partner came to my house before (only when there having a fight which is a regular occurance) they have a 2 year old girl and a 4 mth old boy. Well i was talking to him giving him advice, he told me that she (my cousin) has said that she doesn't want kids and says " I'm going to smash there faces in" not just the one time but many times. I don't believe she is depressed, i asked her dp and he said she just cracks it over everything. She was very nasty to my dd, and swore at her a few months ago thats why i don't speak to her. Her house is filthy, always has been. Mouldy bottles, stuff absolutely everwhere, dirty nappies, kids are always in dirty clothes, rarely bathed. I'm just worried for these kids, she watches tv or plays games all day, these kids gets no stimulation. Is this serious enough to report to DHS? I would hope that she wouldn't do anything, i just wouldn't forgive myself if something happened. :no:

[sam's mum]

if you are genuinely worried then report it, that way you will know that you have done your best.

[Lastcenturymum]

What does her partner think about all this? Did you advise him to report her?

[Mum2Bella]

i wouldnt worry about your cousin,
i would worry about the children n them living in danger report it to DOCS n to the police,

dont sit around n do nothing

[Elliemac]

i wouldnt worry about your cousin,
i would worry about the children n them living in danger report it to DOCS n to the police,

dont sit around n do nothing


:iagree: Dirty house, dirty clothes, rarely bathed - that's neglect. You need to report it.

[V8]

Firstly she is neglecting them, with recent events that have happend i think DOCS would definately have to take notice. Also any threat of physical harm to a child should be reported. You can't even threaten an adult without getting into trouble i'm pretty sure it's illegal to threaten violence before you have even done anything. At least as an adult we can report the threats, these poor kiddies can't. Please speak up for their sake!

[2sweetgirls]

Dont feel bad for reporting them, they may just go round check up on the situation, get her some help, social worker or something, and then the children will be in their system.

I would do it. For your own peace of mind and also knowing that the children are being check up on.

take care

[MandaMommy]

I too have been in your situation (i.e my cousin) and was very concerned about her baby who was 18 months old at the time.

It is a hard situation but definitely not one to ignore either.

I considered reporting the problem to DOCS. But after thinking more about the situation, i decided that she was obviously not going to get her act together by herself. So i considered who could influence and who would be helping her if they knew.

I decided to contact my aunty (her mother) and had a good chat to her about the problem and that someone will contact DOCS if it continues and she would lose her baby.

My aunty knew there were problems in the household but I guess she didn't think it was as bad as it was. Both my aunt and uncle asked me to assist.

So a bunch of us decided we would help clean the house and give her advice on somethings to do for her to keep her baby. She had never considered they would take her baby. So the cycle started. Arguments, tears, crying, depression, cleaning (OMG it was soooooo much worst then I had suspected)

The child wasn't been bathed daily, wasn't been fed properly (i.e three meals a day), the house was trashed and the back yard had 7 ute loads of garage including dirty nappies in it. They had not had electricity for almost 2 weeks because it had been disconnected.

On cleaning the house more and more was discovered. There was drug involved and my cousin and her partner were both doing it. This was a total shock.

The situation ended with my cousin returning home to her parents with just her baby. Mainly because my aunt took the baby as soon as the drug problem was discovered. It was the best outcome of all. Now my aunty can help her daughter become a better mother and can also supervise the care of her grandson.

So maybe you should consider who can help because if DOCs become involved, the first thing they are asking is WHO in the family can take the children.

[Mum&bubs]

Has anyone in the family tried speaking to them? If so, I would probably report it. No child deserves to be neglected, and if you are wrong, then thats okay you were only concerned and willing to help if there was something going on. And if your right, hopefully the family can get some help.

[CorbinSethLincoln]

Maybe try the family approach and if noone wants to help her, then you have to report it. Has her partner talked about leaving with the kids?? Would he be a better parent without her? Maybe if he went you could help him out, bc you seem to be able to talk to him pretty reasonably. Maybe the situation would be better without her in the picture??

[Toffee apple]

Please do something!!!! ....those poor babies having to live like that ...someone HAS to be their voice.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

It needs to be reported ASAP. Also make sure you give all the details to DOCS that you can and know that you will remain anonomous.
DOCS will not just barge in and take the children away. Their aim is to keep families together wherever possible, because that is the law.
They will however at the very least offer her help and support, they may force her to do some parenting courses and have someone come and show her how to cope with everyday tasks.
Please do this for them because they are little children who deserve protection.

[84zsazsa]

What does her partner think about all this? Did you advise him to report her?

My exact thought when I first read the opening post. Why is this man not doing anything about this situation?? Crazy :no: Whether their his kids or step kids.

But....YES, if he is not going to do something please give DOCS or the police a call and report it.

Danni

[Tulp]

Please report it. Like Toffee apple said, the babies need a voice. Be that voice.

In her own strange way she is screaming for help. She has already threatened to harm the children.

[toni796]

I too have been in your situation (i.e my cousin) and was very concerned about her baby who was 18 months old at the time.

It is a hard situation but definitely not one to ignore either.

I considered reporting the problem to DOCS. But after thinking more about the situation, i decided that she was obviously not going to get her act together by herself. So i considered who could influence and who would be helping her if they knew.

I decided to contact my aunty (her mother) and had a good chat to her about the problem and that someone will contact DOCS if it continues and she would lose her baby.

My aunty knew there were problems in the household but I guess she didn't think it was as bad as it was. Both my aunt and uncle asked me to assist.

So a bunch of us decided we would help clean the house and give her advice on somethings to do for her to keep her baby. She had never considered they would take her baby. So the cycle started. Arguments, tears, crying, depression, cleaning (OMG it was soooooo much worst then I had suspected)

The child wasn't been bathed daily, wasn't been fed properly (i.e three meals a day), the house was trashed and the back yard had 7 ute loads of garage including dirty nappies in it. They had not had electricity for almost 2 weeks because it had been disconnected.

On cleaning the house more and more was discovered. There was drug involved and my cousin and her partner were both doing it. This was a total shock.

The situation ended with my cousin returning home to her parents with just her baby. Mainly because my aunt took the baby as soon as the drug problem was discovered. It was the best outcome of all. Now my aunty can help her daughter become a better mother and can also supervise the care of her grandson.

So maybe you should consider who can help because if DOCs become involved, the first thing they are asking is WHO in the family can take the children.
:iagree: I think you should deffinetly try the family aproach first of all and then if things don't change I would deffinetly be reporting ti to DOCS. These babies can't speak for themselves so need someone to do it for them.

[Miss_Vicki]

you def have to do something , even if you have a chat to her first ?

what about her parents do they get one , I don't understand how her Dp could jsut let her do this an no do anything , In some sence its just as bad as her doin it

a messy house is one thing but a un hygenic one is another !
mine isnt alwasy clean but its not like its full of rubish an filth

when i had PND thou , i used to constanly loose an put baby bottles away that wold go off an in end get throw out i was just so lazy from depresion , mind u i never would re use them !

[WorkingClassMum]

what have you decided to do?

[kayla Lilyz mum]

i spoke to a friend after work today and have read all ur posts. I don't think the family approach won't work just because her mum is just like her, very lazy and has a filthy house that is how she grew up. Her partner is nearly as bad a her, has a job for 3 months then quits because he cant be bothered, they are both unemployed and he is a very depressing, down on himself kind of guy. He won't leave her coz he "doesn't know how", duh its not that hard. He said " i wouldn't know how to use the internet, or get the fone connected, or find a house shes the smart one not me" he is just a loser i know that sounds harsh, but if u knew him you'd wish u didn't, honestly! I think i will ring DHS, just because like someone else said these children are being neglected. She is is behind in there immunisations because she is lazy, not because she is against it, it is just not acceptable! They could both benefit from attending a parenting course and learn some skills to bring there children up properly.

[grass is always greener]

Definatly be their voice. Stand up for them, they need someone to, both their parents sound like they wont be the ones to do it, so please please do it for them.

They are lucky children to have you in their lives and to have someone who is willing to do something.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Good on you- neglected children are everyones business.:)

[WorkingClassMum]

Please let us know how you go and what happens:(

[debplus3]

Children do not have a voice of their own when it comes to their living cirumstances and it is up to responsible adults to voice concerns for them. Having worked with many disadvantaged children, I would always act in the interests of the children.
If nothing else, it will make the authorities aware of their situation and they may be able to put some supports in place to improve things for the whole family.

[Amused]

Please do something... the world is a crazy place at the moment. We really need to be proactive with the care of children. Hope it goes well.