Scared of a Family Member

[SassyMummy]

My 8.5 month old daughter is generally a happy little girl. Though, since she's decided that I'm her FAVOURITE person, she seems to suss out new people before warming up to them. However, if she's given to them for a cuddle, she's usually okay if I, or someone she's close to, is nearby.

Today though...my father came over. She doesn't know him very well at all, so I understand that she might be a bit weird around him until she realised he was okay. But almost as soon as he came near her, she bawled her little eyes out. I was even holding her at the time...and normally she's pretty good if I'm holding her.

I felt really bad when my Dad asked if it happens with anyone else and I said "no."

I'm not sure why she was so afraid of him. Just like other people, he was pulling silly faces and making silly noises...nothing too creepy or loud...just stupid baby stuff. But she was scared out of her mind.

He's got dark hair like me...but he has a moustache and I was wondering if perhaps she was scared of that. Nobody else she knows has much facial hair (other than when my brother or DP don't shave...but that's only stubble).

Does anyone know what might be her problem? I feel really bad for my Dad...especially because this is his first and only grandchild, and that he doesn't see us too much...AND because he's having trouble with his partner so is feeling very down and lonely at the moment...which obviously wasn't helped by DD being freaked out by him.

After a while she was okay...but for a fair amount of time she was scared.

[Smurfette]

I know how you feel, Liv was the same with my Dad. Again, we don't see him too much ( even though he lives around the corner, thats another issue), has the facial hair etc. She used to look at him and cry. Oh, he has a really deep voice which is a bit scary for her I think. After a while she generally gets better and lets him hold her, but it does take awhile. Now when she sees him, she is okay, but still not 100% sure, so I think it will take a little longer. I think it could be the facial hair and the deep voice, but don't worry too much, she will soon get used to him.

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

Dont worry too much about it its normal my daughter one day became very scared of her uncle that we see every week for dinner,but now she isnt scared of him.Also a close friend of ours that comes around for a visit now and again she got scared of him.Mayby its just a different person or mayby it could be the facial hair.Babies and kids are funny like that they go through all different stages.One week she wants me the next she wants her dad:eek:

[Miaow]

EJs recently started to really check out exactly whos holding her now, and for some reason has started to not like her grandmother holding her whos shes seen a couple of times a week ever since she was born. She'll start crying nearly as soon as she holds her which understandably is upsetting her grandmother a bit. Sometimes she'll be ok though and on Sunday did let her hold her though she watched me the whole time she was being held. For some reason though it isnt eveyone she does this with my brother held her a few hours after this happened with her grandmother on Friday and she wasnt too bad and considering he sees her less i thought this a little weird.

[Jem]

we live 45 mins away from my parents...
and so we only see eachother every few weeks...
when ds2 would see his nana.. he would scream the house down!!!
we thought it was quite funny...:laughing:
evntually over time, and more visits.. he got used to his nan :D

[annsam]

My DS was scared of a friend with facial hair until he got used to it. Sometimes there are just people who scare them for no particular reason. I wouldn't be concerned. The more time he spends with her at a distance, she will warm to him.

[the_queen]

It's probably the moustache, or it could be his aftershave/deoderant, or it could be his low voice, or the silly voice he put on, or it could be just that she wants her mummy back.... Sounds pretty normal. Don't force her to be held by him, just let her get used to him at her own pace. Maybe get some photo's of him, close ups of his face, and stick them somewhere where she can see them every day? Vallerie's grandparents all live far away from us, and I stuck pictures of them up on the wall next to her cot, and near her change table, and she had a little photo album book thingy that had photo's of everyone in it. :thumbsup:

[mysonroger]

funny, when i was reading that story, the first thing i thought of was 'has he got a beard/moustache', then i read on further and saw that he had. that's probably it.

[fee's]

my bub has started to get very scared of men with loud deep voices, a friend of ours he see's about once a week has started to freak him out lately. His daddy and I are pretty softly spoken so I think it is just the intial shock. I'm sure your bub will be fine, next week it will be something else setting them off - I can never pick it.:confused:

[SassyMummy]

Thanks for the replies!

We tried to hand her over to him a few times...but each time she freaked out. Then she just cried whenever he came near her.

When we got inside, she sat on the floor with me and just stared at him. She was very quiet. After a while though, she started making noises at him...and then later went to him for a hug.

He rides a motorbike so just before he left he put on his helmet and leather gear and stuff...she was freaked out then. But that was understandable to me...he didn't look like a "person" anymore...so I understood THAT freak-out.

It's funny that so many kids seem to be scared of MEN. Or men with facial hair. So weird...