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polony
17-04-2006, 22:57
I am feeling really cr*p. I am stuck and don't know what to do. It feels like I am always fighting this.

I am a single parent and have been trying my hardest to make my friendship with the father work in order for my DD to have him in her life.

The thing is he is so frustrating and selfish and has no clue.

Today I decided I wanted to take DD to the zoo, so I called her dad and asked if he would like to come too as it would be her first time. He agreed so I told him I would be there in an hour or so. An hour and a half later I get there. He is all snooty coz I took longer than I apparently said I would.

Anyway, we go and in the car I ask him why he is in a bad mood (it's obvious!) and he starts going off at me saying that I was all negative to him since seeing him and that I am not respecting him etc. I dunno what he is talking about. Anyway, he punches the dash of my car so I stop the car and ask him to get out. I don't want him coming if he is going to be like that. He gets out and I go to the zoo with just DD.

Then I get home and get an email. It says that even though he thinks his arguments were petty, he has to say something. Blah blah blah :ecomcity:

He basically says that today is all my fault and that I am a bully and that I don't listen.

I am all upset now. I have been trying so hard to keep some sort of relationship there for DD. Then this happens. He makes me feel like cr*p. There is never any mention about how he abandoned me and DD for the first 12 weeks of her life when I was severly ill and barely coping. He thinks that I bully him because I ask him to do certain things like help me with Layla and then I get angry when he tells me "I can't be bothered. I am going out to play poker with **** and drink". then I ask him to help for just half an hour. It's stuff like that.

I want him out of my life but I can't do it coz of DD. It isn't fair to her.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like crying, but I hate crying alone and there is no one I can call up at the moment. I feel so lonely. I feel like I am being the "bad guy" here. :(

melbryan
17-04-2006, 23:07
Is there maybe sometime you can sit down with your ex partner and explain to him what you are trying to do and ask him if he is prepared to make an effort for his DD. If he makes excuses then it's time to move on. My friend is in the same boat and when she asked her ex to come to his DD's netball game, he was coming up until the morning of the game then did not show. His DD was coming off the court at every moment looking for him ( 5 yrs). imagine how she must have felt. My friend has a new partner that just loves her DD and all she wants to do is cuddle up to him. This new partner is someone special. I think to be part of a young child's life and be like that father she doesn't seem to have. If the Bio father isn't doing the right thing eventually someone will come into your lives e.g. grand parent, new partner etc to be that male role model in her life. As it doesn't seem that your ex is being that for his daughter..
Sad but true.