Neighbours beating child

[bekkyboo]

Hey all... Just needed to get a bit of feedback and see whether its pregnancy hormones going nuts. or if it is normal to be THIS upset up this.

Our neighbours never seem to be the 'loving' parenting type. I posted awhile ago about their baby crying for hours on end with no one comforting it, I think i also posted about them telling their older child that no one loves him etc...

Well yesterday as i was hanging out our washing, I could hear their eldest out the front playing with friends. I asume his father told him to come inside, and from what i can gather there was a bit of a problem with this. The child wasnt obeying, and the dad got madder. I heard alot of yelling, screaming and swearing directed at the child. Then i heard them chase the child down the hallway in the house. All i could hear was the child screaming for the father to stop. I burst into tears, ran inside, snuggled into my husband while he tried to console me. My DH told me he heard it all too, and had gone out the front to see the father chasing the child with a skipping rope down the street. My DH said that the child was being - well - VERY naughty... but i still dont ever see it as a reason to hit him with a skipping rope, or continue to hit after you could hear the fear and pain in his voice when he begged him to stop.

I was (and am still) disturbed by this. I sat there for ages crying. Friends that were over at the time say i was so shaken up becasue its my maternal instinct kicking in.

Anyway - thoughts???

[Cheeky Little Monkey]

Contact family services or the police. No child deserves that treatment regardless of their behaviour.

[bekkyboo]

The problem is, i dont know for sure what was going on... I dont know whether the child was actually ever touched.... I know that they swear at him (which is pretty bad) - but im not sure if he did actually hit.

How would i go about contacting them anyway - And could i stay annon. as the house blocks here are close, and i really couldnt handle having abusive neighbours if they found out it was me. And is it my place to say anything???

[Cheeky Little Monkey]

If you heard it, surely others in the neighbourhood heard it too.
It is my understanding you can make an anonymous complaint with DOC's. Have a look in the phone book and you should find the local one. As for not wanting to become involved, I understand that, but how many children end up hurt emotionally or physically because we dont want to become involved? As for the parents, if they are decent people and treat their children right they will be able to explain their actions. To be honest people like that make me sick. I fully appreciate that children can be obnoxious, insolent etc however beating or threatening to beat a child with a fist or any other devise is not on!!

[Seekrit]

The problem is, i dont know for sure what was going on... I dont know whether the child was actually ever touched.... I know that they swear at him (which is pretty bad) - but im not sure if he did actually hit.
THere's nothing wrong with making sure that the noises you heard were just the everyday noises of a kid getting their dad a cuppa tea.
Call them. :hugs:

[the_queen]

Firstly: you can stay anonymous.
Secondly: it is illegal to strike a child with anything other than an open hand.
Thirdly: the verbal abuse alone would be enough to justify calling the authorities.

You know in your heart what is the right thing to do. Please call the authorities. I know it's difficult, I know it's hard, but think of that little child. Even if he is "very naughty" - probably the reason he behaves innappropriately is because he's not the kind of person to sit back and take a beating. Some kids will be scared into behaving, other kids will "rebel" and fight back against the treatment they receive.
The family will probably not have the child taken away from them, they will probably receive counselling from social workers on how to better parent their children. It sounds like they desperately need that help.

:hugs: to you for having to listen to that awful incident.

[annsam]

This sort of thing continues because people dont take a stand for the child. We have a responsibility to protect all children within our power - this one is within yours. Please dont stand back and do nothing.

I really do sympathise for you having to go through this and the tug of war inside you about what to do. Im sure you will take the make the right decision.:hugs:

[shinebrite]

DEFINATLY call Department of comunities!!!! I work for families, comunities and indigenous affairs and we r a commonwealth department but deparment of comunites is a state department that works with child abuse and comuntiy things! the number is (07) 3224 8045 we ahve these numbers cause we have SO MANY ppl ringing up daily for ppl abusing the kids!

U really need to ring them cause I know I would of appreciated csomeone ringing the police or DOCS when I was a kid when my dad was abusing me....:)

[Kamaikia]

You all might think I'm crazy here but......

For a start with the baby crying without comfort - did you witness this or just assuming because it cried non stop that no one was comforting it? Babies cry, some for hours and hours as you will see soon and sometimes for their own sanity after a couple hours of crying some parents will make a cuppa and walk away.

Now maybe you are just sensitive and have a different way of raising a child then they do. Maybe in their house a slap on the *** with a skipping rope is acceptable - just because it isn't in your house doesn't make it wrong (and no its not acceptable in my house but I respect other parents ways of disipline). I'd have to ask what the child did wrong to. If it was something like trying to burn the house down then even I would put my boot up the bum.

Look I'm not saying you shouldn't do anything. If you are concerned ring and dob them in. get them investigated but if that works out ok maybe just realise that people do things differently in every house. And we sometimes see only what we want to see.

[bronny-jane]

You all might think I'm crazy here but......

For a start with the baby crying without comfort - did you witness this or just assuming because it cried non stop that no one was comforting it? Babies cry, some for hours and hours as you will see soon and sometimes for their own sanity after a couple hours of crying some parents will make a cuppa and walk away.
.

i agree with you here, my dd 2 was lactose intolerent it took a few weeks to figure it out, she had colic as well, she would cry for hours:( , its so hard to remain calm in this situation, and putting the baby in its cot and having a cuppa does help alot, just a quick break;)

[annsam]

Now maybe you are just sensitive and have a different way of raising a child then they do. Maybe in their house a slap on the *** with a skipping rope is acceptable - just because it isn't in your house doesn't make it wrong (and no its not acceptable in my house but I respect other parents ways of disipline). I'd have to ask what the child did wrong to. If it was something like trying to burn the house down then even I would put my boot up the bum.


Um, someone correct me but I believe it IS illegal to hit a child with a skipping rope??? Doesn't the law even draw the line at open hand smacking and verbal abuse let alone hitting with an object??

And IMO if the child is screaming for his father to 'stop' then there is something amiss. It doesn't seem like rocket science to me.

Sorry but beating children (or animals, elderly or anyone else that cant defend themselves) is really something I cant tollerate people sticking their heads in the sand about (not directed at the op or anyone else, just a general opinion)

[pumpkin]

Um, someone correct me but I believe it IS illegal to hit a child with a skipping rope??? Doesn't the law even draw the line at open hand smacking and verbal abuse let alone hitting with an object??

And IMO if the child is screaming for his father to 'stop' then there is something amiss. It doesn't seem like rocket science to me.

Sorry but beating children (or animals, elderly or anyone else that cant defend themselves) is really something I cant tollerate people sticking their heads in the sand about (not directed at the op or anyone else, just a general opinion)


sorry but you can hit a child with an open hand on the bottom the law states that there are to be no bruises, marks etc above the waist from hitting them( we never hit above the waist though only on the bottom when it is needed) you can also not use a weapon or an item defined as a weapon. (egg flip, belt etc) and if the police are asked to attend a parent smacking a child scenario it is up to the attending officers if the force used etc is illegal or not. most cases they are just being smacked with an open hand and for good reason etc therefore are not punishable by law it is classed as normal discipline. i know this because i actually rang the police headquarters in brisbane and spoke to a sargeant on duty ( i also work at the local police station) so i rang from there as i had already asked the precinct that i was at and they told me the same thing.

[annsam]

sorry but you can hit a child with an open hand on the bottom the law states that there are to be no bruises, marks etc above the waist from hitting them( we never hit above the waist though only on the bottom when it is needed) you can also not use a weapon or an item defined as a weapon. (egg flip, belt etc) and if the police are asked to attend a parent smacking a child scenario it is up to the attending officers if the force used etc is illegal or not. most cases they are just being smacked with an open hand and for good reason etc therefore are not punishable by law it is classed as normal discipline. i know this because i actually rang the police headquarters in brisbane and spoke to a sargeant on duty ( i also work at the local police station) so i rang from there as i had already asked the precinct that i was at and they told me the same thing.

Well I'll be....... I did not know that. Im really suprised. Thats completely different to what we were told in our nursing training with regards to abuse but then maybe the laws differ for the different states?

The law has certainly changed in Qld then as when I was living in Brisbane I lived with a police officer who told me that if swearing and such was heard from the sidewalk the person could be arrested. It was a common tactic in domestic abuse to have an officer on the sidewalk while the other went to the door. That was about 12 years ago though.

[pumpkin]

Well I'll be....... I did not know that. Im really suprised. Thats completely different to what we were told in our nursing training with regards to abuse but then maybe the laws differ for the different states?

The law has certainly changed in Qld then as when I was living in Brisbane I lived with a police officer who told me that if swearing and such was heard from the sidewalk the person could be arrested. It was a common tactic in domestic abuse to have an officer on the sidewalk while the other went to the door. That was about 12 years ago though.


i have never heard the swearing one and if it is true then alot of the people that frequent shopping centres and such shouldnt be there as they always use swear words. not to sure about the truth behind that one though

[annsam]

Who knows. As I said, it was a long time ago and the bloke was a bit odd..... its just something thats stuck in my mind.

[Kamaikia]

Maybe its just me but I think there are too many sensitive souls out there these days. I think there is nothing wrong with a good slap on the butt or the arm (doesn't happen often but does happen) and if I'm breaking the law thats tough.

Its funny there are so many people who beleive if we smack our kids then we are abusing them - I think thats a fine attitude for you but not for me. I am not making a wrong choice - just different.

[draught]

The original poster asked for advice on what to do. She has received some sensible advice. Let's not turn this into another debate about what discipline is right and wrong as none of us were there, know the family or the circumstances.

Thanks to all who contributed.