do i get a say at all?

[musicalmummy]

court papers state we have Dh's kids every 2nd weekend and half holidays. it's been fine for the last 4 years since the court papers were ruled up.
suddenly the mum decided she wants them all july hols, so we have to have all september hols.
i feel a bit ripped off as DH won't ask me or look at it from my point of view. he goes to work every day and i have the kids here, plus our 16mth old, and our new born.

can he just do this or should i stand up more?

[HunterzMummy]

As it impacts your family of course you should be asked before a decision is made.

My DH would not dream of making any decision like that with out talking with me 1st. Its about respect and considering you are doing the primary caring its ridiculous he didn't talk with you.

Is there a good reason for her deciding this?

[alphafemale2901]

Hey hun.

You know how I feel about the diadvantage that your DH takes of you regarding the SKs.

I absolutely think you should have a say and that your needs, wants and rights should be respected. I can't make that happen for you though and I hope you can find some way of getting through to your DH before you go completely nuts.

Have a bunch of :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[MandaMommy]

Musicalmummy big :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

You should definitely have a say, especially when the decision directly affects your life and household.

I sometimes don't realise how lucky i am to have a DH who pretty much allows me to make the decisions.... but this is a direct result of me standing up to him on many occasions and now he realises it does effect me and does affect us. Now days he just agrees with me to save an arguement, lol.

I hope you and your DH can discuss this and prevent this from happening again. I hope things can improve for you.

[bAaM]

You DEFENATLY have a say u will be there main caregiver while they are there and u have every right to crack up about it.

Its almost like u are expected to be there sitter, maybe if u talk to ur DH and say if they are coming all sept holidays that he may need to take a week off work to help u, and spend some time with them??

[MandaMommy]

Just another thought i had.... this may assist you.

Been in your situation too many times and too many times my DH and me can't agree.... our solution is now - STICK TO THE ORDERS

Sticking to the orders is the one thing both DH and me can always agree on. Really it usually makes the most sense, has the least amount of complications, ends our dicussion on the matter, is the easy thing to say to bio-mum and can only ever be a good thing if things end up in court.

It works for us :yes:

[musicalmummy]

Just another thought i had.... this may assist you.

Been in your situation too many times and too many times my DH and me can't agree.... our solution is now - STICK TO THE ORDERS

Sticking to the orders is the one thing both DH and me can always agree on. Really it usually makes the most sense, has the least amount of complications, ends our dicussion on the matter, is the easy thing to say to bio-mum and can only ever be a good thing if things end up in court.

It works for us :yes:

yeh i always say we should stick to the orders as it saves complications later on, but DH gets the guilts and says but what wil their mum say, o dad doesn't want you.
i talked to him last night and told him that if we are to have the kids the full 2 weeks he talks to his parents and asks if they can spend one of the weeks there. i aso told him to make sure his 17yr son goes as well as i won't be having him and his attitude in this house by myself while DH is at work DH agreed but hasn't doe anything about it yet.:hair: