just ignore me while i try not to kill the ex.....

[the_original_duchess]

so my situation. Grant hasnt taken the kids since november. i gave up on him being a dad to them. he had a baby with the "woman" (actually she isin her teens but anyway) he cheated on me with.
then about 2 weeks ago he decided that he wanted to take the kids for the week. i umm and ahhed about it for a few days then agreed. he could ahve them from saturday till the following sunday.
now today, mind you after my dp's mum has already brought us non refundable tickets to come and see her in melb before its too late for me to fly, he txts me telling me, not even asking, that he will no longer be taking them for that time. it will only be from friday until monday or wednesday or some ****.
now if he had have asked me or even have had the common cortersy of calling me then maybe i wouldnt be so peeved, but no he txts me.
it seems to be a trend with him coz when he left his family he texted me to let me know of that....:rolleyes:
so he then tells me to pleade my case to the "woman" he cheated on me with and if she agrees then he will take them.
now excuse me but honestly he can get ****ed if he thinks im begging some two bid ***** to take my kids so that he can finally step up and be their dad after 7 months of not having them.
he'd have more luck of discovering that i have testicles that sing jingle bells when you kick them.. and i dont.
ARGH the nerve of both of them.
then SHE txts me and calls me PATHETIC and LAME????? WTF honestly.
ARGHHHHHHHH
i really hope they are happy together coz now i have a crying 4 and 3yrold asking why daddy doesnt love them, and i sware to god he will NEVER EVER EVER get the oppertunity to do this to them again.
that was the last time. as far as im concerned he is dead so they dont have to see him.
thankyou and vent now over

[sam's mum]

:hugs:

I don't tell DD1 that her 'dad' is visiting her until he is in the driveway. it saves a lot of tears that way. He makes a million promises, and never comes through.

unfortunately your kids will probably learn the same lesson, don't believe what 'daddy' says.

she (and by the looks of it your kids too) is lucky enough to have a real dad in her life that goes out of his way to do things with and for her. She has been calling her step dad Dad since before we were even married. He proposed to me while we were on holiday and she immediately asked if she could call him Daddy now.

All you can really do is stay strong for them and give them a stable home with you.

[liss05]

Just wanted to give you and your kids some of these :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[grass is always greener]

I dont have any advice, but just wanted to give you and kiddies one of these each. :hugs::hugs::hugs:.

[Chickadee]

coz now i have a crying 4 and 3yrold asking why daddy doesnt love them

That makes me want to cry too. Poor little guys shouldn't have to even question their parent's love :(

[OneBabyBoy]

Oh God, I can totally understand why you are so angry. Also, how dare she text you at all let alone say those things to you :banghead: Make sure you write all the details down somewhere. :mad:

[Miss_Vicki]

What a *** !! sounds like he has no balls as a man or a father ! his pathticness will pay , will end up with kids that will hate him ! :(

sorry you have to put up with a guy like that

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

What a w@*ker. I agree, he isn't worth it and they will figure it out. Don't trust him, and don't let your self or them be put in that position again.
Keep a record of everything and know that you have been very resonable. If he now wants access- let him get a laywer and go to mediation with you, then it may be an indication that he is serious.
Sorry that you and your children have to go through this.:hugs:

[Mathermy]

:hugs: What a disgrace!:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Starlet]

Sounds like my ex. He has them for 1 night a fortnight and gets mad because his kids call my husband dad. My husband works fly in fly out and he sees them more than the 26 night a year that the ex does!

[mum2bubba]

Grant if you're reading this GET YOUR BL00DY ACT TOGETHER!!!!! :banghead:

Seriously I know hes the father or your kids but he sounds like a dead beat. Sorry. :o

As for the other "woman", tell her to go and do some homework or play with her Barbies or something. Maybe he might cheat on her too.

[mum_inlove]

:hugs::hugs: to you and your little ones..

Reading that makes me sooo angry:mad:. How could he?

[SalTheGal]

How long are you going to Melb for? I know it would be extra money and a pain to do but can you buy the extra tix and take the kids with you....Grant should not have the satisfaction of dictating such terms to you.

Definitely get some legal agreements drawn up- he shouldn't be able to play with the kids emotions like that. :banghead:

[spoon]

You are a darn site stronger than when I saw you last.

I am glad you are done crying over that jerk.

You and your kids deserve better.

Well done hon.

[Inforapenny]

what a jerk, why don't they get it? That the kids are the innocent ones and should never be made to pay the price for the decisions and choices of the parents.
If he does want them again, I would consider it but only because I wouldn't want my kids to think I was the one who stopped him (iykwim).
BUT, I wouldn't tell them until he was there on the doorstep ready to take them, that way they don't get crushed by disappointment.
Hope you still get a chance to enjoy your trip, or some special family time.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[the_original_duchess]

thanks for all the replies.
we already do have a legal agreement drawn up but he chooses to ignore it
the action got much worse last night. i accidently lowered myself to their level and said a few (alot) of things i shouldn't have.
BUT i did apologise and got none in return, just some more insults and threats...
i honestly dont know what to do. i wish i could just tell him to not see the kids again, but they love him for some reason unknown to myself.
all i want is for them to have a great relationship with both him, his girlfriend(to my surprise) and their half sister.
i jsut keep thinking how would i feel if it were my baby that didnt get to know these truely magnificent little people.
TBH i can understand why she is so uptight about the whole me and him communicating civily and even as friend, because she's still a kid. he left me for her, and she is probably scared ****less that he is going to do the same thing to her.

see there was a whole MAJOR mis communication.. he hadn't told her about her looking after them (just after she has had a baby less than a month ago mind you) all day while he was at work.
she has never been a mother before. if it were me i'd refuse too.
sofor two weeks i was lead to believe that all was fine adn then he must have let her no and she flatly refused. again despit my animosity towards her, i totally agree.
now if i had have gotten a phone call of either of them letting me know that, and her telling me as a woman that she is not prepared to do this yet as it would be too much then it wouldnt have turned out as badly as it did.
i suppose the down point of the whole debacly was when this girl continued insulting me and i txt'd grant telling him to "leash his dog" not my finest moment i assure you.
i behaved appalingly, and i can't excuse that. but ultamately if grant had have given both me and his g/f the correct information from the word go, it wouldnt have happened.
oh and i couldnt get flights for the kids on the same day unfortunately. i could for the next but thats a different flight and i cant exactly put them on a plane on their own :(
it works out to be way too much money to rebook for the 5 of us and i really dont want to fly past 18 weeks pregnant.
i know its safe but i just really dont want to take the risk.
anyway :hugs::hugs::hugs: for all of you in the same or similar situation as me.
you are all very strong and hopefully the deadbeats will man up and become the dads that out beautiful little babies deserve.

[LizzardLover]

i txt'd grant telling him to "leash his dog" not my finest moment i assure you.
.

Just gotta say that while it might not have been your finest moment....it was bloody funny though :laughing: