Need a plan of action - advice

[genegeenie]

My 15mo has stopped all self settling and is waking 3 times a night - needing a feed to go back to sleep. Lately he wakes as soon as soon as I put him down again, even if he has been asleep in my arms. And then he screams!!

In the past I've been able to let him 'grizzle it out' which has worked without too much distress but now he gets really really worked up and hysterical as soon as he is in the cot.

I've tried co-sleeping and would LOVE for it to be an option but he just wants to feed constantly, and the last few nights he lies awake chatting and groaning in bed with me for hours.

I am 8weeks pregnant and so probably need to think about weaning in a few months. I'd be prepared to keep feeding him once a day after the next one but not more.

Days sleeps are even harder, he just wont go in the cot. If I leave him awake he screams like nothing on earth, if he is asleep he always wakes up and just loses it. We end up sleeping together.

So - at the moment I am feeding him to sleep in the evenings and he pretty much goes down. Its after that (anytime after 9.30) when he wakes the trouble starts. I've considered CC and ruled it out and so am thinking:

- Feed to sleep normal bedtime - if not asleep he goes down awake and I stay next to the cot through the turmoil
- Any waking after that I'll stay in the room but not feed him and tough it through til he learns he needs to go to sleep in the cot.

Has anyone else been through this? Any suggestions?

[Ronni78]

Poor you.

If I were you, I'd see a GP to rule out anything medical. Once that's cleared, maybe baby clinic for expert techniques.

It seems to me he knows that when he screams, you will get him out of the cot. Which is why he screams first now.

Another suggestion is leave something in the cot that smells like you. For eg, lie him down on one of your shirts, and tuck in the covers/pillows around him so that it feels like someone is still holding him.

Day sleeps - to start a routine I would take him to the park or playgroup in the morning and tire him out a little. Then when we got home, mid morning, I would feed him then lie down with him in the bed. If this works, after a week or 2, I'd move the routine to the cot with me sitting next to him.

Night sleeps - sounds like a good plan. If your son is having more than 1 or 2 sleeps during the day, maybe cut one of them out so that he can sleep more restfully during the night.

Hope this helps.

[sleepdeprived]

I haven't been through this myself but you said you were 8 weeks pregnant.

I have been told that for some people not all their milk changes when they are pregnant it gets a funny taste. Or might not be as substantial as your are now feeding your unborn child aswell.

I have no idea but maybe he is still hungry that is why he waking more. He might be getting enough to settle him for a little while but is then waking up hungry.

Just a thought

[MandaMommy]

Yep totally agreed with hunger part!!!

I stopped breastfeeding then I was 5 weeks pregnant (but didn't know I was pregnant) due mainly to supply problems, weight issues and hunger problems and not been able to fix this or help the situation at all.

I still don't have a good sleeper so here is some advice, (not necessarily all my own, things I have read too that have helped me) but I guess cos my baby still wakes up through the night it only helps not fixes the problem. lol but night time is alot easier now.

- bedtime means baby stays in cot, avoid at all cost taking him out of cot and if you do then return him to the cot as soon as he is fed, changed or stopped crying.
- if you have taken baby out of cot because of crying then stand holding him at his cot. If he settles immediately when picked up and stays settled for 30 seconds then he is just wanting a cuddle, so cuddle him and put him back in his cot.
- sit beside the cot until he is asleep. At first I sat beside my DS and patted his chest until he fell asleep and usually I would have to sing as well. (this can be long and hard, I remember hours of this but i don't do it now 2 months later)
- Next I stopped patting him before he fell asleep but still sat beside the cot.
- Next I would put him down and not touch him at all and wait on the chair for him to sleep.
- Finally I would just put him down and leave the room.
- Consistancy - DH would still pick up DS and in the end he would cry I would go in there and he would be crying da da da da da da. I told DH to pick up his game or he would be doing all nights.
- No more mummy's bed ever :(

I must admit that for some of this time I did do CC - three minutes then 4 minutes etc for about 2 weeks. But now I realise that he just wants to be assured that I will come if he cries but I think now he knows I'm not picking him up.

Now he sleeps through most nights.... some other things I had done to help are putting him in sleeping bag at night - warm is important. If he does wake up I go straight to him, tell him mummy is here and leave again straight away. I do not move him or move him back under the blanklets anymore (this was the most important one that worked for me).

Hope something in this can help.

[genegeenie]

Thanks ladies. Good advice.

I've had some success putting him down awake, making a fuss of teddies etc, and stroking him til he goes to sleep. Every night its getting quicker, so thats progress.

He is still night waking but I am waiting til my 2nd trimester in 2 weeks (when I hopefully have the energy) to try staying with him til he goes back to sleep in the cot. I imagine its going to take quite a few long nights.

I dont consider a few minutes of crying 'CC' and use it from time to time too.

We've also had 4 more teeth in the last fortnight - that makes 6 in the last 6 weeks. I really think this is contributing.

[Roxy76]

- bedtime means baby stays in cot, avoid at all cost taking him out of cot and if you do then return him to the cot as soon as he is fed, changed or stopped crying.
- if you have taken baby out of cot because of crying then stand holding him at his cot. If he settles immediately when picked up and stays settled for 30 seconds then he is just wanting a cuddle, so cuddle him and put him back in his cot.
- sit beside the cot until he is asleep. At first I sat beside my DS and patted his chest until he fell asleep and usually I would have to sing as well. (this can be long and hard, I remember hours of this but i don't do it now 2 months later)
- Next I stopped patting him before he fell asleep but still sat beside the cot.
- Next I would put him down and not touch him at all and wait on the chair for him to sleep.
- Finally I would just put him down and leave the room.
- Consistancy - DH would still pick up DS and in the end he would cry I would go in there and he would be crying da da da da da da. I told DH to pick up his game or he would be doing all nights.
- No more mummy's bed ever :(

I must admit that for some of this time I did do CC - three minutes then 4 minutes etc for about 2 weeks. But now I realise that he just wants to be assured that I will come if he cries but I think now he knows I'm not picking him up.

Now he sleeps through most nights.... some other things I had done to help are putting him in sleeping bag at night - warm is important. If he does wake up I go straight to him, tell him mummy is here and leave again straight away. I do not move him or move him back under the blanklets anymore (this was the most important one that worked for me).

Hope something in this can help.

thanks so much for posting this. today is started the techniques you have written and it is working well so far. thanks again! :thumbsup::thumbsup: