Paranoid wife after childbirth

[mgriffin]

Hi,
I have a 7 week old, and for the last couple of weeks my wife has become more and more paranoid about me seeing other women. Everytime I am 5 minutes late home, on the computer or out shopping, my wife gets all paranoid that I may be speaking to other women behind her back. At the moment I don't even have enough time to relax, let alone see anyone else.
It has been getting worse and worse. Is this normal for a new mother? I can understand her being home with bub all the time, but she is at the stage where if she goes out for her space, she comes home and all of a sudden starts accusing me of talking to other people.

[*~alegna~*]

Congratulations on your new little one.

I think maybe she's still getting her head around having a little one that relys on her & it not just being you & her? I know it was a culture shock for my DH & I.

Alot of changes have occured...To you relationship, everyday life & ...her body. Maybe she just needs a little extra reassurance & an extra cuddle never goes a stray. Just let her knoe that you love her & your there for her & the baby....things will settle down I'm sure:)

[Mischief]

Sorry, and I'll do what my hubby hates!... Im going to be a woman replying in dads chat. :)

I got really paranoid after I had Oliver, but not the same. My fear was if Steven was 5 minutes late home that he'd had an accident and was dead and I didnt know. Its the fear of being left all alone in this world to cope.

Did your wife have a hard labour? Long, traumatic, etc? Its very possible she is suffering PND. Do you know how she went at her 6 weeks check up?

[SPC]

Non- Dad barging in. There is something called post-natal psychosis. It's rare, but it does happen. It's related to post natal depression. If you are really concerned that her behaviour is out of charcter, it might be worth having a chat to your GP or maternal and child health nurse. I don't mean to worry you, but you sound kind of worried already! She's probably just getting a bit of cabin fever from being stuck at home with a baby and role shock from all the changes she's been going through.

[WorkingClassMum]

It's not usual, but it's not abnormal either for a new mum to experience a wide range of emotions after having a baby, and during the first couple of months.

As previously posted, was the birth difficult, very long etc? Did you go for the 6 week check up as well? Does your wife have any support people around as well as you?

Is bubs feeding well/sleeping well? Has she seen the MHN?

I don't mean to overload you with questions, but to offer things that might be troubling your wife.

If re-assurance and a frank gentle converstaion isn't helping, maybe you could chat to the family GP. Your wife may simply have the baby blues and is adjusting to your new family and life, or she may be experiencing PND.

[michelleB]

Its hard being a new mum- you are not quite sure where the old you went or who the new you is. you dont fit in your clothes, your body is different, and some days you are home all day without any contact from the outside world. it feels like all the other women your partner may come into contact with (particularly in an office if you work in one) are thinner, more worldly and more interesting than you. you feel like you cant compete. also you feel amazingly happy, but the happiness can be paired with a fear of losing everything. my advice would be to remind your wife who she is, talk to her, about more than just baby stuff, ask her opinion about things, remind her that she is not just the mother of your child but your partner as well.
sorry for butting in and congrats on your little one!

[susmamma]

Sounds like post natal depression to me.
I'd pop along with her to your GP and have a chat.

Good luck... having a newborn is probably the most stressful time in life! And it puts a lot of pressure on otherwise easy relationships.

It does get better though!
It's just a bit tricky while everyone is adjusting to their eyeballs hanging out of their heads from sleep deprivation and trying to get through the new gallon of washing that has appeared overnight.

:hugs: for you and your wife.

[delirium]

How does she feel about her post baby body? I know after having 2 kids that I still look ok but my thin, perky body has gone. I have to admit that I've become more jealous of other women since then, maybe not as bad as your wife though. I don't feel attractive, and so I worry that my DH doesn't find me attractive either.

Having a baby is a huge upheaval for a woman, both physically and emotionally. As others have said, she may have PND, and if so, she needs your support.

[0BleSseD0]

She is probably just low on confidence. :yes:

Birth is a big thing to go through and she probably feels very unattractive now.

Maybe try doing/showing her that she is still sexy to you. A letter, a romantic dinner in once bub is in bed.. Anything.

It is stressful being a new Mum. Try telling her how wonderful she is and what a good job she is doing and how beautiful she and bub are and how proud of her you are. Sounds silly, but right now she is fragile and needs to hear it.

[Hokey Pokey]

I think it is normal yep to a certain extent. Childbirth changes not only your physical appearance, but emotionall and mentally too, those hormones have gone crazy (again) sleep deprivation etc etc
Go easy on her, make her feels as loved as you can.. little notes, tell her how beautiful she is, what a great mother she is, cook her a nice meal, run her a nice warm bath and watch the baby for her, all little things like that make such a big difference :yes:

And congratulations! :flowerz:

[FarmerBlog]

Sorry, and I'll do what my hubby hates!... Im going to be a woman replying in dads chat. :)


Yes I do :yes:

The best thing that you could do for three of you is go and have a chat to you GP :thumbsup:

[aje001]

Hi,
I have a 7 week old, and for the last couple of weeks my wife has become more and more paranoid about me seeing other women....How are things going, starting to get better? Congrats, by the way.


I got really paranoid after I had Oliver, but not the same. My fear was if Steven was 5 minutes late home that he'd had an accident and was dead and I didnt know. Its the fear of being left all alone in this world to cope.My wife gets like this sometimes too... she needs to know where I am or else she starts to worry too much.


It's not usual, but it's not abnormal either for a new mum to experience a wide range of emotions after having a baby, and during the first couple of months.This is right. Having a baby is a huge stressful time for everyone involved, and things are bound to change. Just give it time and things will settle down eventually.

[MetalTechHead]

It does get better...

New mothers are under so much stress and always wondering if what they are doing is right...There is also the obligatory period of worrying about how you see them and whether you still find them attractive etc...

Natural progression from there to become somewhat jealous, for want of a better term, of interactions with another woman - however mundane.

That is of course only a generalisation and my own observations (which may be slightly askew)..

Best way would probably be to actually ask them what they are feeling..communication is the greatest.