Im getting to breaking point

[nicoleE]

DD is 8 months old and her sleeping is quite bad lately.

Some points:
* she is a catnapper by day 3x 30 minute sleeps BUT is happy between them and I cant seem to resettle her so im not too concerned by this.
* I have done allot of reading including the No Cry Sleep Solution and am about to borrow a copy of Pinky's Sleeping Like a Baby.
* Unless I crack and end up REALLY stressed i will not do controlled crying, i dont feel like i am close to being this bad yet.
* DD is on solids 3 times a day and still breastfeeds.
* during the day she is put in her cot to sleep while I practically have to lean in the cot and lay on/with her while she settles which is without too much fuss as long as I am that close to her. i am planning to slowly withdraw so eventually i wont have to be so close.
* DD cant seem to self settle.
* we have a routine at all sleeps which includes her dummy and blankie and reading books in her room. She then gets put in her cot during the day as above and is breastfed to sleep in the night (purely because she is due for a feed and she falls asleep on the breast)

Her normal night time timeline is:
*bed at around 7pm
*normally she would wake a couple of times in the next hour or two but the last 3 nights (*touch wood!) she hasnt as i have put a top i have been wearing during the day under her head. (this doesnt seem to continue to help overnight though)
*i would normally dreamfeed her around 11pm before i go to bed and have been meaning to skip this to see how she goes but every time i aim to she seems to wake anywhere from 10-11pm anyway!
*the last few nights she has been waking for instance a few times before 3am, sometimes every hour from around midnight. I eventually give in and bring her into our bed by about the 3rd time up as i have had enough. Im lucky to get 2hrs sleep in a row at the moment, sometimes i get 30 minutes by the time i resettle her and get back into bed and to sleep again.
* i resettle her during the night by rolling her back onto her side and popping her dummy back in and getting down close to her which normally works. I normally breastfeed her once a night and she will feed quite well.

:ecomcity:

Sorry for all that just wanted to give some info...

ANYWAY... i just dont know what to do. I love having her in bed with us and she has always come in but used to be allot later in the mornings but my back is starting to hurt laying on my side with her there and neither DH or i sleep that well with her there. I know i may be making it worse bringing her into bed but i just cant continue to get up during the night that many times! DH has never gotten up to her (and wont) it is causing fights between us as he doesnt like her in bed yet doesnt know how sleep deprivation feels! as she doesnt sleep long during the day it is impossible to catch up on sleep and as mentioned before if i ever try to get to bed early she ends up waking anyway! then of course i am having trouble getting to sleep expecting her to wake!


I have another appointment with CYH about in 2 weeks time it but i have already been to see them about her sleep and they were no help at all really, they were encouraging and supportive but no real help IYKWIM.

I really think she is crying out for me because she cant resettle herself and she wants me, sometimes she cries and cries and waves her arms and legs about and arches her back as if she was in pain yet as soon as i pick her up she stops and you might even get a smile out of her!!

I have contemplated sleeping in her room on the recliner chair for as long as it takes to resettle her without bringing her in bed but im not sure how i will cope with little and uncomfortable sleep. i kinda dont want to try anything drastic unless i know it will have a good chance of working or it could make things worse (as in my mental health and lack of sleep!)


Who do I see.... who can i turn to? What can i try!!
:hair:
:sleeping:

[mrsd]

a) Is she teething ? Have you tried teething gel ? Even when I haven't been sure, I've sometimes put some on the base of the dummy 'cos it seems to last longer (G won't take one)

b) How long has she been in her own room for ? Is she still getting accustomed?

c)Do any food allergies run in the family ? Could it be causing the arched back etc ?

Frankly, at her age it sounds like teething issues. Thank God for teething gel but sometimes its a case of just battling on until the main ones are through - suckling seems to sooth sore gums sometimes.

[WorkingClassMum]

.

I really think she is crying out for me because she cant resettle herself and she wants me, sometimes she cries and cries and waves her arms and legs about and arches her back as if she was in pain yet as soon as i pick her up she stops and you might even get a smile out of her!!


:sleeping:

I agree with previous post - could she have silent reflux or colic?

Maybe not an allergy but maybe food intolerence?

I suggest this not just for the back arching, but also the fact that she's happy when she's upright.

When you see the Dr/GP/MHN I'd mention the back arching in pain AND the relief at being upright.

You could try instead of picking her up, just sitting her up and seeing if she stops crying - then I'd suspect reflux/heartburn/colic

[nicoleE]

She could be teething (she only has her 2 bottom ones) but her teeth dont seem to bother her during the day. I have tried bonjela a couple of times but it certainly doesnt help her continuing to wake so often.
She doesnt wake that upset all the time (although she is always crying when waking).

She has been sleeping in her own room in the day for several months and has been in there overnight for probably 2 months now.

thanks for the suggestions.

[JosieMonkey]

Hi NicoleE,
:wave:I've read many of your sleeping posts before because so many of them I could have written myself! My bub is also 8 months with almost an identical sleep pattern. The only difference is that bub goes to sleep in my arms (feeding or rocking) and I put her in her cot asleep - just can't settle her in the cot!

So I really know how you feel:hugs:. I really, really miss my sleep!

We co-sleep to survive, not because it's easy or because I want to, but because I can't get through the day without some form of continuous sleep. If you're like me, your hubby would have a much grumpier wife if you didn't co-sleep - would that change his mind?!

My CHN was also supportive (had my visit today) - she said that it just seems that some babies, with their tempermants and such, just have difficulty with sleep and need more help from us. She said that 12 months is often a time when they can start to sleep better because they are more active (if they're walking) and basically you can tire them out to exhaustion! I've got my fingers crossed.
Otherwise she suggested private sleep consultants.

I think we have to remind ourselves that our baby's sleep difficulties aren't caused by us, even though others can make it seem this way because they keep suggesting 'sleep training'. I've tried, and read everything too...not worked for us.

Sorry I can't help much as I'm stuck too. I'm just trying to go with the flow a bit, get as much family help as possible (which is lots fortunately) and every now and then will try something new for her sleep but not try to hard or allow her to get too upset. I'm about to try the 'sounds for silence' cd (bubhuber recommended)

Let us know how you go. all the best.:)

[michellea75]

Hi there. My DS (now 14 months) was the same up until 7 months old. He had silent reflux from Day 1 and was on medication and we also had housemates at the time which both contributed to him not sleeping well & not learning to self-settle (as we would go to him straight away when he cried).

NB. Reflux babies generally outgrow it by 6 months, when they start solids. I think back arching can also be just from being so tired & frustrated.

I had read No Cry Sleep Solution, some of Tizzie Hall's articles (author of Save our Sleep) and Babywise. We had also resorted to co-sleeping, which I now miss at times as DS is now running around and barely sits still for a cuddle. DS was napping 2x 45 minutes in the day, going to bed at 7pm then waking almost every 2 hours til morning!!! He was BF and was on 3 solids a day. We were using Bonjela (as he was teething anyway), Brauer products, playing soft music, etc but nothing worked.

At 7 months, we went to Tresilian for 4 nights. He was sleeping right through the night by the 2nd night!! :smiliedance:He was also having 2x 1.5 hours naps. It was basically controlled crying (which I was originally against) that helped him. I think a better name for it is 'controlled comforting'. The only thing with it though is I honestly don't think I could've done it on my own at home, without the help of the nurses at Tresillian. I was very, very sleep deprived and Tresillian was like a holiday for me, with the meals cooked for me, bub and even my DH, and I was even able to shower in peace whilst a nurse minded DS (a true luxury back then).

When DS started to sleep through, he was a lot happier and less hyper (from over-tiredness). He was still having early morning (6am) and late night (10-11pm) BFs up until he was about 9 months when he dropped those BFs. He sleeps through 12 hours now - something I only ever dreamed about late last year.

I would definitely recommend Tresillian http://www.tresillian.net/ or Karitane http://www.karitane.com.au or a similar facility in your area. (My ECN was encouraging too but unfortunately not very helpful. I had actually ended up telling my GP to write me an urgent referral for Tresillian).

Good luck and let us know how you go.:hugs:

[michellea75]

It was basically controlled crying (which I was originally against) that helped him. I think a better name for it is 'controlled comforting'.

Just wanted to clarify that controlled comforting was done in 5, 10, 15 minutes stretches (not an hour as some are lead to believe), and I would then go in the room to comfort bub without picking him up. If he kept crying, I would just walk out, then back in 5-15 minutes again. Since he ended up sleeping through from the 2nd night, I almost felt guilty for not having done it before. I'd realised using controlled comforting for 1 night was a lot better for him than him never being able to sleep at all.

Also, I'm not suggesting this would help all babies with sleeping problems but it worked for my DS and we have a much happier family for it.

[LilMissnBoo]

Your post was me 2 months ago. DD would only cat nap during the day and wake up hourly from 11pm. We ended up co-sleeping in the spare room.

I ended up doing a sleep and settling session at the local health centre which was run by the MCHN who also runs a sleep school. It was the best 2 hours ever! DD has 3 naps a day 2 are for 1-2 hours and the last one at 4.30pm is for 40 mins. She still isn't sleeping thru, wakes maybe once for a feed but that's about it.

The nurse recommended a routine and also CC (which I am not for at all) But I will run thru my typical day

7 - 7.30 Wake up, Breast feed

8.00 - Breakfast

9am - Nap

11am - Breast feed

Midday - Lunch

1pm - Nap

3pm - Sometime breast feeds

4.30 - Nap

5.30 - Dinner

6.30 - Bath

7pm - Breast feed and bed time

I do the same thing for each sleep. Sleeping bag, close blinds, read the same book, kisses, place in cot then I say "It's time to sleep" I leave the room and DD either chats for a few minutes or she goes straight to sleep.
The first night was tough as she was pretty upset but I never let her cry in her cot by herself. I just stood next to her and patted her back and kept saying over and over "It's time to sleep" If she got really worked up I picked her up for a cuddle.

Only took DD a couple of days to get used to the new routine, she rarely cries when I put in her cot, and her day sleeps are fantastic. She knows what to expect and seems so much more content too.

Hope this helps - Maybe speak to your Health Nurse on your next visit as maybe there is a similar sleep and settling class where you live.