Gay couples adopting children..

[Bewitched]

Okay, it's a touchy title so pleeeease be considerate when posting your view here - remember the human.

I don't know if i should be posting this in the News section but anyway - i found this survey on Yahoo news today, asking "Should gay couples be able to adopt children?" Now i know it's not a new debate but still, after i clicked on "yes" i saw the appalling results below and thought "When is society going to WAKE UP and accept that homosexuality is a very real, and very normal, part of our day to day lives?"

Yes 38% 4619 votes
No 62% 7533 votes

It just saddens me that our society bases their decisions upon fear. That's all it is, fear. Not knowing or understanding another persons sexual feelings, therefore not accepting them. It really honestly upsets me. We've all heard about many heterosexual 'parents' doing an awful job at parenting, why are gay couples without kids instantly considered a 'threat' to potential offspring? I just DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!

We should not be living in a society where the Government decides who we love, or how we love :crying::crying::crying:

[sam's mum]

:no: that's sad.

my sister told me that another couple in our social group has broken up. that leaves the gay couple as the only long term couple left. the rest of us have been married, single, dating etc. they are the only ones that have stayed together in a stable relationship.

[Roopee]

Yep- they should be alowed to adopt children/ Of course they should.
I know some gay couples who would make far far better parents than some hetrosexual couples.

[Bewitched]

Yep- they should be alowed to adopt children/ Of course they should.
I know some gay couples who would make far far better parents than some hetrosexual couples.

Me too :yes: Hence why i am so upset that other people can't see the same!

[bubbleyblossom]

That is terrible!!! They should be allowed to adopt a child/ren!!!

[punkbaby]

Totally agree with you thats so sad :(

[DB&O]

We've all heard about many heterosexual 'parents' doing an awful job at parenting, why are gay couples without kids instantly considered a 'threat' to potential offspring? I just DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!

We should not be living in a society where the Government decides who we love, or how we love :crying::crying::crying:

I couldn't have said it any better myself, I totally agree with you. Being heterosexual does not guarantee you will be a good parent, just as being gay does not mean you will be a bad parent. There are so many children out there who would benefit from the stable, loving & caring environment that a gay couple could provide & for them to be excluded based on there sexuality is appalling (sp?) :thumbsdown:

Ciao,
Brooke.

[Myztik]

Yep- they should be alowed to adopt children/ Of course they should.
I know some gay couples who would make far far better parents than some hetrosexual couples.

Same. I know of gay couples who have children (with help fo course) and they are wonderful parents.. Sexuality does not make one person better than another :banghead:

[naiwen]

Some people disagree with it for religious reasons also, many relatives of mine who are devout practicing catholics feel that it is immoral for homosexual couples to adopt children.

They feel that children should only be the result of a sacred union between husband and wife.

A number of catholic adoption agencies in the UK were forced to shut down as they would not place children with homosexual couples and it was considered discrimination. They did not feel it was in the childrens best interests. The sad thing is they were the agencies who would take on the children that were hardest to find homes for.

[missie_mack]

There is one universal rule for babies- they don't choose their parents.... I don't understand the whole adoption process and the rules on who can and cant based on marital status :confused: I don't see DOCs taking away those children naturally born to homosexuals or single parents so I dont understand why they can descriminate against them when it comes to adoption :no: Shouldn't the greatest tick of boxes be going to a home where they loved, cared for and wanted?? :(

[Mathermy]

It's 2008 people!!!!

:flowerz:Good for them I say:thumbsup::flowerz:

[jag5000]

I have nothing much to say except that survey result is very sad :(

I am constantly surprised and saddened how some peoples bigotry continues even in this supposedly enlightened time we live in.

[Mum&bubs]

It is sad. Gay couples should be allowed the right to be parents, I have many gay friends that I know would make fantastic parents.

[Bewitched]

Some people disagree with it for religious reasons also, many relatives of mine who are devout practicing catholics feel that it is immoral for homosexual couples to adopt children.

They feel that children should only be the result of a sacred union between husband and wife.

A number of catholic adoption agencies in the UK were forced to shut down as they would not place children with homosexual couples and it was considered discrimination. They did not feel it was in the childrens best interests. The sad thing is they were the agencies who would take on the children that were hardest to find homes for.

This was a very interesting post, and im glad other people accepted the information without attacking you over it, i am very pleased with the flow of this thread, thankyou to all :yelclap:

Furthermore, i can understand devout practising catholics have their beliefs about sexuality, just as other religions follow their own beliefs and values too, but other people's beliefs should not hinder the lives of others iykwim :no: Just my opinion :)

[alphafemale2901]

I'm all for gay couples adopting children and having every other single human right that hetro-couples have. I find it sad that this topic even still needs debate.

[Mummaholic]

I have nothing much to say except that survey result is very sad :(

I am constantly surprised and saddened how some peoples bigotry continues even in this supposedly enlightened time we live in.

Couldn't have said it better myself, jag :)

I repect people's relgious beliefs enormously and understand how some may feel. However I am Catholic myself and don't believe Gay people are any different from anyone else. I have Gay friends and would support them 100% if they or anyone else wanted to have children.

IMHO, sexual orientation has no bearing on parental potential or quality of people.

No disrespect intended to Naiwen :), like I say I respect other's beliefs, this is my personal feeling on the matter.

On another note, the only sad feeling I would have about my children if they were gay would be the terrible way others might treat them :( Thankfully society is slowly improving in this regard.

[ComeBackKid]

without starting a new debate, i can see the religious reasons etc. people object to gay marriage (not that i do, i can just understand where people are coming from) but in terms of adopting I dont think gay parents should be subject to different criteria than anyone else. It is just ridiculous, hetrosexual couples can reproduce at will and no one intervenes and checks whether they are competent parents (unless there is a report of abuse etc) but gay couples have to prove their 'worthiness' to have kids? I think the first step to a happy childhood is being wanted! I think gay couples wanting to adopt is a great thing. I think any couple wanting to adopt is a great thing. I dont see why potential adoptive parents are treated differently to any other couple. There are babies and children out there in need of homes, love and care and it is a shame that they are the ones missing out and being deprived of a childhood because of societal or religious conventions.

[SPC]

There's heaps of research that clearly demonstrates that children brought up by gay couples are just as well adjusted, [or even slightly better adjusted] that those brought up in heterosexual relationships.

I have some good lesbian friends in the UK who adopted a little girl. They said that the process was very interesting, as it was entirely designed to counsel and assess straight couples. I ran into them in the street just after the adoption and they were such a beautiful little family. The toddler had severe eating problems, [she needed a gastrostomy because she simply refused to eat] and within a month she was sat in a high chair with a plate of raw veggies and hummus looking very pleased with herself. They just matched as a family, and I think that's the best reason to have diversity in potential adoptive families.

[ComeBackKid]

However the problem is so few children are relinquished to local adoption.


In terms of inter-country adoption we need to remember that many of the requirements are set down by other countries. Culturally for many of these countries they don't agree with homosexuality, individuals within the country are most likely fine with it but the governing bodies are not.

:iagree:

That is exactly right. I was automatically excluding local adoption because it just doesnt happen anymore but I hadnt thought about inter-country adoption policies. :yelclap:

[naiwen]

I saw a documentary about a male gay couple (UK) who used a surrogate in the US and then flew the babies (twins)back home and the non sperm donor dad legally adopted them.

I would hate too think how much red tape and $$$ would have been involved in that.

It was very controversial at the time.

[Scout]

I can't imagine anyone being game enough to speak out against it in a forum like this - with an anonymous, yes or no survey, I think it is far easier to hide.

I have a lot of gay friends and none of them are remotely interested in children. In our group, as a heterosexual, I'm known as a "Breeder"; they revel in the fact that they don't want to have children. But if any of them ever wanted to, I'd be behind them 100%. I'm even 100% behind those gay couples that I don't know!!

[Mathermy]

I can't imagine anyone being game enough to speak out against it in a forum like this - with an anonymous, yes or no survey, I think it is far easier to hide.

!

You would be surprised!:laughing: I have seen some outrageous things been said here on BH about homosexuality and some people seem to have no sense of sensitivity or decency & are happy to own their prejudice. I have been unpleasantly surprised many a time:eek:

[Veritas]

I agree.... I think its terribly sad that any legislative rules and guidelines are in anyway based on one set of religious beliefs over another in this day and age.....

I find it completely ridiculous that there are so many laws prohibiting discrimination of any kind, yet still so many double standards in this respect.....

It's like saying on one hand, you are to be treated as equals and no different than any other person, and on the other that no sorry you can't have that yet you're different than the others.....

I respect anyone's choice of religious or non-religious beliefs, but I don't believe that anyone has the right to impose theirs over anyone else.....

A persons sexuality in no way impacts their value as a person, their capacity as a parent, or anything else other than who they are attracted to..... it's about time that EVERYONE woke up and realised that.....

[Sarahmum24]

This is the problem, a lot of people think if gay men raise a boy he too will be gay and the opposite, and then there is well what about at school how will the other school mates treat them and so on.

Another thing is we are raised to believe that children need a mum and dad, I was raised by a single dad and even I was picked on about that. As long as the child is being raised appropriately and is loved and well looked after i don't have a problem,.

[WorkingClassMum]

As long as the parents treat their child with love, kindness and respect, there is no reason why their sexual preference should make any difference to their ability to adopt. .

:iagree:

How many kids have been abused, hurt, beaten and killed in "straight" families?

So long as the child is wanted, loved, protected and cared for...

[Bewitched]

I saw a documentary about a male gay couple (UK) who used a surrogate in the US and then flew the babies (twins)back home and the non sperm donor dad legally adopted them.

I would hate too think how much red tape and $$$ would have been involved in that.

It was very controversial at the time.

I caught this program too, so loving and sad :crying:

[SalTheGal]

That is sad to see results like that, but I wonder was the survey an American one or Australian? (Presuming yahoo global- not .au)

I would like to think that Australians are for the most part more accepting...I could be wrong, but I don't find it in the circles I move in.

With regard to the specifics, yep it is hard to overcome cultural boundaries of OS adoptions with barely any local adoptions occuring anymore.

I think a very real and immediate option is foster care- I know it doesn't give couples a child of their own- but we are screaming out for foster carers in this country, and I know of a few gay couples who have made brilliant foster parents and have been so fulfilled by doing it.

There needs to be some changes though- it just isn't fair that male gay couples especially may miss out on the joy of parenthood because we have such backward laws.

[~Bec~]

Bewitched - those polls are absolutely meaningless as they bear no reflection of 'reality'. Phone polls, email polls etc are all meaningless as it is not taken from a true cross section of society. To undertaken such research properly a true cross section of society would have to be polled and there are accepted ways and approaches of doing this. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't sweat too much about it. :)

BTW - I believe that sexuality bears no indication of quality of parenting.

[mummymimi]

I know a loving, caring, responsible mum who has raised two very well behaved, well adjusted, lovely daughters and she is -shock, horror- GAY.

If a person is willing to jump through all the hoops associated with adoption and can meet all the strict criteria they have in place (background checks, criminal history checks etc) who really cares if they are gay or not. It has no negative impact on their ability to raise a child.

Most of the gay people I know say they have no interest in having children but I always wonder if it is a coping mechanism in some cases (ie: it maybe too painful to openly wish for something unattainable).