Am I Horrible?

[pennylane]

Hey Ladies,

just need another point of view on this...

I found out last week of DF that he gets to come home this weekend (reunion leave) just for friday night,saturday and flys back to the base on Sunday morning!:smiliedance:yay.

Anyway, im a bridesmaid in a friends wedding in september and I told her a week ago about DF coming home.She rings me today and tells me I have to get fitted for my bridesmaids dress and look for shoes etc with her on the Saturday.

OK,so fine its only a few hours so that ok.But then she said 'oh and then all the bridesmaids and groomsmen are coming back to our place for a big dinner/drinking sesh'.

I said 'well im okay to come to the dress fitting etc but not the dinner as you know DF will be home.' shes like 'oh he can come and catch up with the guys and have drinks etc'

I reminded her that DF and I havent seen eachother in two months and he just wants some private family time with me and DD as she turns one next weekend and he will miss it as he goes out bush then so couldnt get leave.And I DID tell her about him coming a week ago and shes only just now telling me about the fitting and dinner so im sorry but my family has to come first.

Shes really annoyed about it and acting really hard done by that I cant just drop everything.

Am I in the wrong here?

She does have like 5 other bridesmaids to hang out with, and theyve missed heaps of other wedding stuff that ive been there for and they didnt get any flack for it.

How do I explain to her that this is my life now and these things will happen?

[Tam-I-Am]

OMG, are you serious?! No. You're not in the wrong. Your friend needs to understand that her wedding - albeit the most important, big, and expensive one of her life - is a party. Your DH and your DD are your family, and they of COURSE come first before a party.

Enjoy your weeked with your DH at home :hugs: and forget the wedding dinner. I think its amazing you're even going for the dress fitting! I would have rescheduled to later the following week!

[pennylane]

Thanks Tam.

Yeh id Love to reschedule the fitting but I fear any further wrath from Bridezilla :laughing:

The way shes acting you'd think I were missing the actual wedding! Its just dinner with the wedding party,I see these people all the time.its not like weve never met and Its going to be like pizza or chinese and beer.:rolleyes: I dont see the big issue but oh well.

[StellasMummy]

how rude of her.Im sure if it was her DF who was away for long periods of time she would be spending it with him while he was back
I think she is being very selfish expecting you to be there especially since you did tell her before she planned this dinner.

Tell her to bugger off and your spending alone time with your man :)

[DB&O]

Ok I totally agree with Tam, she has to understand that this will be the only time you get with your DF as a family for a while. She should be happy for you, not making it difficult by being a pain. She should be grateful that you are keeping the appt for dress fittings, I totally would have re-scheduled, after all he's home for 2 nights only. You can have a dress fitting & dinner any time.

Have fun & enjoy the time you have together & don't let her sourness ruin it for you.

Ciao,

Brooke.

P.S; happybirthday to your little one for next weekend.

[Ana Gram]

OMG, are you serious?! No. You're not in the wrong. Your friend needs to understand that her wedding - albeit the most important, big, and expensive one of her life - is a party. Your DH and your DD are your family, and they of COURSE come first before a party.

Enjoy your weeked with your DH at home :hugs: and forget the wedding dinner. I think its amazing you're even going for the dress fitting! I would have rescheduled to later the following week!

:iagree: Listen to Tam, she is a wise woman. Enjoy your time with your husband!

[pennylane]

Thanks Guys!!

Trust me if this was HER hubby away i would be the worst in the world If I had asked her to do what she is asking of me!

Her hubby went away for 2 nights and one day in January and she freaking lost her darn mind and he was only at a car show! lmao

[Amira]

Hey penny :hugs:some people just dont understand what its like being seperated for so long.

Perhaps ask her how she'd be feeling if she were in the same shoes?

Also dont you dare feel guilty for one second. As for the dress fitting i agree with Tam i'd reschedule.

If she's a real friend she'd understand how important the weekend is for you and your family and would back off! Completely sympathise with the bridezilla part too, my sisters wedding was last August and i tried so hard to please her that i didnt realise the affect it had on my DD1 and hubby.

If she's in Port Macquarie send her my way i'll deal with her!! Im 36 weeks pregnant bet she wont argue with me :laughing:

[pennylane]

haha thanks Amira i'll send her your way for sure, since she is in Port.:laughing:

Im going to go to the dress fitting to keep the peace as DD and I are moving in 2 weeks to be with DF and I dont want there to be bad blood since I have to travel back here from Wagga for her wedding in September,but if she gives me a guilt trip about skipping the dinner then I will definately be having 'words' with her about it and asking her to see things from my view point.

[samsgirls]

I just can't believe the hide of some people! Your friend obviously knows you haven't seen your DP in that long, but isn't thinking about anyone but herself. Spend the time with your hubby, and do not feel horrible!!! :hugs:

[ConcernedParent]

Here's how you handle it...

Face to Face.

1. Go up to her when you see her for the fitting, and give her a big hug.

2. Tell her that you love her, you are really excited about her wedding, and you want her to have the best day ever.

3. Tell her you are sooooo sorry about not being able to come tonight but you had other plans which you are unable to change.

4. Tell her it is really important to you that you go and do this and apologise for it clashing with all the plans.

5. Then say, what you'd like to do is meet her for a special lunch and/or coffee, just the two of you, at a later date so she can tell you all about the fun things that you missed out on that night.

And then leave it at that. If she makes a big deal go back to steps 3 & 4 and repeat as many times as necessary.

After the fitting when you leave, another big hug and wish her all the best for a great night. Then leave gracefully.

[xkwzit]

Tami said it all, you just tell her how it is going to be.

And don't feel guilty, you have the power over that, doesn't matter how much she whinges.