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View Full Version : Just having a whinge about DF.



grass is always greener
09-06-2008, 23:22
I was so looking forward to spending the day together as a family, seeing as it was a public holiday and DF didnt have to work.
But, no, DF decided to spend the morning, from 8 til 2 working on his car at the workshop. It was just like a normal day, i thought that maybe i might get a break from being the main carer for just one day. I spent the day trying to get the nursery ready for when Bubbles arrives, which is in 22 days!!!
Then, when he gets home he complains about being hungry as he didnt have any breakfast, there are 2 different types of cereal in the cupboard and bread, he was just too lazy to do it, and didnt know what he wanted for lunch. I threw suggestions at him, but he didnt know. So i ended up having to cook lunch, as usual, event hough he said he would do it.
Then he spent the afternoon on the computer looking at drag race results. He could have watched TV with DS, cartoons were on and DS loves asking questions about what is happening he makes it really interactive, but no. I came in after watching a bit of playschool and laid on the bed next to the computer to try and get him involved in spending time with us, it didnt work and i started to drift off to sleep, which didnt really work as my bestie called after 20 mins so i spoke with her for 45 mins and still DF sat on the computer. DS comes in with no nappy on and I have to cut short my convo (didnt really mind) to find a nappy that was somewhere and then put a fresh one on him. DF kinda got shirty that i had a little sleep!!!!
We (DS and I) then went to play with his toys and DF sat on the lounge and read car magazines. It never really bothers me but today i just had it. I then had to cook dinner, as usual, which i dont mind doing, but a break would be very much appreciated. We sat down and i suggested that DF give DS a bath, and he did, so that was fine. However, when DS got out he wanted to play trains with daddy, but daddy wanted to read more magazines, so i sat on the floor and built a track and played trains.
I just wish he would take some initiative in getting things done with DS. Its not that hard.
He has now fallen asleep on the lounge, i tried to get him to play cards or something, just interact with me, give me some time (i know i sound selfish). Also i had to make sure that his works clothes are clean and hung out to dry in the lounge room or i would be the worst person tomorrow. He wonders why our BD'ing doesnt happen. I just feel so unappreciated.
Sorry, but i had to get that out. I feel heaps better now. Thanks so much if you made it this far.

V8
10-06-2008, 00:02
Aww hun, men are oblivious twats at the best of times! lol :hugs:

DH is a bit annoying too, instead of holding the baby for me while i have a shower or do dinner he wants to put him in his cot or rocker so he can play the playstation. He can play the playstation all freakin day, and when i need him to hold him for like 20 mins he'd rather do something else. Annoys me too cause why wouldn't you want to hold a lovely precious baby. And more often than not as soon as he puts him down, bubs cries for his mummy and then i have to quickly finish what i'm doing to get to the baby. Arrggghh they are so frustrating hey!

Mahjong
10-06-2008, 07:06
Oh Libby, men seriously have no idea at times do they? :(

I think you need a few of these :hugs:

Happy 37 weeks today too hunny ;)

HunterzMummy
10-06-2008, 09:19
I(i know i sound selfish). He wonders why our BD'ing doesnt happen. I just feel so unappreciated.
.

Sweetheart dont be silly you are not selfish AT ALL. You are carrying the family. Parenthood is a partnership.. teamwork.. He sounds very lazy and selfish (sorry)

I say this because i have been in your shoes and am currently still walking that path, although it is nearing the end. Its not acceptable hun, not only is it so much for you to deal with its exhausting and he needs to up his game esp since bubba #2 is due soon.

I sat DH down and had a LONG conversation with him - i then wrote him a letter about how his actions were making me feel and how much i loved him but how he was making life very hard (in a very gentle and loving way) he then had time to mull over it then came back to me and apoligised and we sat down and wrote a roster out... so far so good... yeah sure he has his days but it is a marked improvement and he is getting better and better which is a blessing and a huge relief.

grass is always greener
10-06-2008, 09:43
Thanks so much for that ladies. I am going to talk to him at lunch time and explain how i felt last night. I hope he listens.
I feel much better today. The sun is shining :sunshine: and i have to get things ready for bubs, so no need to dwell on the negatives.

I am loving the roster idea. I think this may be a good way to go. I need it just as much as DF.

grass is always greener
11-06-2008, 16:16
I spoke to him today about it, and he was truly apologetic. I know it has sunk in. I am going to suggest to him tonight about the roster.

I told him that i am now over the issue itself as i vented, all he did was :rolleyes:.

I think i might just stick a rocket underneath him everytime he forgets something, and hopefully he will start to do things himself.

HunterzMummy
12-06-2008, 09:17
I spoke to him today about it, and he was truly apologetic. I know it has sunk in. I am going to suggest to him tonight about the roster.

I told him that i am now over the issue itself as i vented, all he did was :rolleyes:.

I think i might just stick a rocket underneath him everytime he forgets something, and hopefully he will start to do things himself.

AWESOME :goodvibes::smiliedance: Glad to hear it hun. Atleast he is willing, that is the 1st step and a positive one at that :D

grass is always greener
12-06-2008, 09:58
I think we are making progress. He is doing so much more. I just hope that it isnt until i stop watching, IYKWIM. Like a child who has been in trouble so they act like an angel for 2 weeks then goes back to their old ways.

Hunterzmummy, thanks so much for that. :goodvibes::hugs:

Leisa21
12-06-2008, 10:02
AWESOME :goodvibes::smiliedance: Glad to hear it hun. Atleast he is willing, that is the 1st step and a positive one at that :D
Thats so true, good luck with the roster, sounds like a great idea. I think the problem with some men is that they dont see things they are doing as bad. Ignorance is bliss huh lol. I know I recently made a positive post about my DH but there are times that he can be a selfish bugger and like he'll make a joke about me gaining weight. I puff up and get all defensive have a good old vent to ppl and then talk to him and he'll say oh sorry its just you joke about it all the time. - I am allowed to lol he's supposed to say no you look like a super model to me:laughing:. Not in everycase tho some men can just be selfish lol. I find with my DH I give him the benefit of the doubt but if he does it again then he has a lot to answer to. :hugs:to you hun it must be tough doing so much on your own, remember you're not selfish and you need help too. And you shouldnt be stressing with bubbles, you should be relaxing on the couch getting foot rubs.

Tina33
12-06-2008, 10:15
Gosh..you are amazing doing soo much when you are soo close to having your baby...:yes:

You DF sounds very selfish..you shouldn't be having to chase him around! Cooking and washing for him..my gosh I would've lost it by now..you are very patient..:yelclap:

He should be showing initiative and just picking up where he can..I am very lucky my DH loves to play trains, read books and basically spend any possible spare minute his has with our 2 sons..3 and 1.5..he loves it. I am currently 6 mnths preggie with number 3 and he couldn't be anymore helpful...

Good Luck I hope you can kick start something that will become a habit..:)