I just cant do it to him :(

[Mybabble]

Ok, A little bit of background......
Ds turned 2 in feb. Since he was about 12 months old he started getting infections in his penis fairly regularly,most of them were only minor and cleared up in a few days. He had one major infection and his penis bled for a while. We have seen 5 different doctors, 4 of them told me he needs to be circumcised. 1 of them said he didnt need to be circumcised but i had to pull his foreskin back every night in the bath, he showed me what to do, i felt sick to the stomach watching him do it as my baby cried. I didnt know at the time that it was the wrong thing to do :mad:

I took him to a specialist 6 months ago. She prescribed steroid cream which i had to use twice a day for 3 months, we had to go back and see her again after that time. Apparently the cream hadnt worked and she thought it would be best to circumcise him.

He is booked in to have it done on Tuesday.

I cant do it to him, he hasnt had any infections since we saw the specialist.Ive made up my mind, i wont be going to the hospital on Tuesday morning.

It just seems that everyone around me keeps telling me i have to get it done. (except a few Thanks leigh:hugs:)
DH wants it done.
My parents.
DH's parents.
Pretty much everyone has the opinion that it HAS to be done.Its only a couple of days of pain :rolleyes: (ill chop the tip off their finger and see how they like it!)

He hasnt had an infection for months!! Id rather wait, the problem seems to have fixed itself, and if it hasnt id rather wait till he is older and he can understand why he is in pain.

So, thats my little rant. Ive made up my mind. Ive just gotta be strong and stick to it.

[Mahjong]

Oh Kristy, you poor bugger :hugs:

I totally sympathise with you, DS has had one infection so far and already Im worried about them wanting him done if they repeatedly come back.

I cant tell you what to do or what decision to make, but I thought you could do with some of these :hugs:

[Benji]

Trust your instincts :)

Well done for protecting your little man :hugs:

[BreakfastatTiffanys]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Good on you.

[lukaelmo]

I think that if he hasn't had an infection for months, then you are certainly making the decision I would make too...

You know, when I had Luka and was in the hospital going mental (ummm, I really was going barmy), Luka's pediatrician, a lovely wise man, told me that as a mother, to always trust my instincts. If I thought that something was wrong, then I would know better than others...

I loved that piece of advice, and try to let it guide me with my little people... so yeah, listen to yourself, and feel good about going with what you feel is right.

[Milliner]

Oh Kristy. :hugs:

I think you have made the right decision. Try and be strong and stand your ground.

BIG hugs coming your way.

[Mummaholic]

I wouldn't do it either unless there would be huge consequences if it wasn't.

:hugs:

[kelpat]

Maybe just tell everyone you want to put it off for a few months to be sure. Then while your waiting try to find alternatives, I noticed he is two so you are able to vary his diet a bit. A naturopath could suggest some things to add to his diet to keep that area healthier and help to prevent infection. Then after a couple of months and he hasn't been sick again you could just tell everyone he doesn't need it now.

My daughter had urinary tract infection twice and I didn't want to keep giving her anti-biotics so we were told to give her cranberry juice 2-3 times a day and she hasn't had any trouble since.

Good Luck :hugs:

[veve]

oh definitely follow your gut!!! its something that cant be 'put back' once it is taken away ..

you dont want to regret it .. :hugs: .. if its something you aren't SURE of .. then hold off ..

not an easy situation .. I think I would probably want to wait and see.. its a big decision

xx
Jen

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I agree with all of the above.
I can't believe that Dr told you to retract his foreskin:thumbsdown:.
Any way- my nephew was getting infections alot, and he told my sister it was still unessecary to give him a circ. He said as he grew his skin would stretch and he would get less infections and then none.
My sister has found giving my son salt baths - helps alot, and my nephew loves having a nice long play in the bath.
He is really good now and has not had an infection for quite a while and he is 7 yrs old now.
I say go with your gut and good luck.

[serendipity22]

sockstealingpoltergeist said

I can't believe that Dr told you to retract his foreskin

Foreskin retraction contributes to many infections.

The situation is really bad in the USA, where doctors
retracting or recommending retracting is rife.

[Mybabble]

Well, i am proud to say that i stuck to my guns and i didn't give in!:yelclap:

We were supposed to be at the hospital in 45 minutes but instead we are all sitting around in our pjs:p

I rang the hospital yesterday arfternoon and let them know that we wouldnt be coming. Dh wasnt happy but he knows how strongly i feel about this so we have agreed to let it be and see how things go.I thought that my mum would be one of the ones saying "just get it done incase....." but i spoke to her last night and she thinks i made the right decision and said she thought that was what id do anyway (how do mothers know these things.lol) Ive just got a few more family members to face but i don't really care what anyone says, i know ive made the best choice for my boy.


Anyway, thanks for the support girls, i feel soooo relieved!:D

[2boybubs]

Ive made up my mind. Ive just gotta be strong and stick to it.

Good for you, maybe the problem has fixed itself. I would have done the same thing, I couldn't have it done to my DS when he was born as it made me sick to my stomach to put him through that.

[4fabbokids]

If it were me I would have weighed up the pros and cons -

pro - no more infections and discomfort for our son..one less thing to worry about

con - 1 day of discomfort, miniscule risk of surgery, the risk of further infection which can lead to kidney problems, an increased risk of further discomfort and sickness

a no brainer for me really!!

you say you couldnt do the circ to your son and yet you can let him go through further discomfort when the problem returns - because it will as once it starts its almost impossible to cure.

you made the best choice for yourself, not for your son.

Somtimes we need to make decisions for our kids which are harder for us as parents than the kids - sorry, but you protected yourself from having to watch your son feel pain which inevitably will cause more suffering for your child.

[twotrunks]

you made the best choice for yourself, not for your son.

Somtimes we need to make decisions for our kids which are harder for us as parents than the kids - sorry, but you protected yourself from having to watch your son feel pain which inevitably will cause more suffering for your child.

:thumbsdown:I find that post outrageously offensive, the OP wanted support and clearly feels she has made the right decision for her son. And sorry, but part of his body cut off is going to be much harder for the child than for his mother.:thumbsdown:

It is not inevitable that the infections will continue, there are many options to explore before circ'ing, and I say well done for leaving your son as nature intended him.

[4fabbokids]

"find that post outrageously offensive, the OP wanted support and clearly feels she has made the right decision for her son. And sorry, but part of his body cut off is going to be much harder for the child than for his mother.:thumbsdown:"

Im sorry if you found that 'outrageously offensive' but - the situation is exactly the same as if it were tonsils or appendix.

The fact that we are dealing with a foreskin makes it an issue for some people. WOuld you leave your child as 'nature intended' if he had chronic tonsil infections.??

And the problem will continue - it has been stated in countless studies and research.

And sorry, but some decisions that we make as parents are extremely difficult when it is a medical issue.....you obviously havent had a child circumsized so I dont believe you have any evidence to discount my opinions.

What other options are available that wont put the child through anymore discomfort or pain??

[SorenLorensen]

If it were me I would have weighed up the pros and cons -

pro - no more infections and discomfort for our son..one less thing to worry about

con - 1 day of discomfort, miniscule risk of surgery, the risk of further infection which can lead to kidney problems, an increased risk of further discomfort and sickness

a no brainer for me really!!

you say you couldnt do the circ to your son and yet you can let him go through further discomfort when the problem returns - because it will as once it starts its almost impossible to cure.

you made the best choice for yourself, not for your son.

Somtimes we need to make decisions for our kids which are harder for us as parents than the kids - sorry, but you protected yourself from having to watch your son feel pain which inevitably will cause more suffering for your child.

im am in no way an anti-circ but your post has even shocked me.
she does not want to circ her son, she has made that decision for HIM....

[Milliner]

And the problem will continue - it has been stated in countless studies and research.



Do link me, I would like to read these studies.

[WorkingClassMum]

If it were me I would have weighed up the pros and cons -

pro - no more infections and discomfort for our son..one less thing to worry about

con - 1 day of discomfort, miniscule risk of surgery, the risk of further infection which can lead to kidney problems, an increased risk of further discomfort and sickness

a no brainer for me really!!

you say you couldnt do the circ to your son and yet you can let him go through further discomfort when the problem returns - because it will as once it starts its almost impossible to cure.

you made the best choice for yourself, not for your son.

Somtimes we need to make decisions for our kids which are harder for us as parents than the kids - sorry, but you protected yourself from having to watch your son feel pain which inevitably will cause more suffering for your child.


I don't think you have weighed the pro's and con's very well at all

Did you miss the part where the babe hasn't had an infection for several months?

Surgery is not a "minsicul" risk - all surgery carries risk and is best avoided where possible

My nephew had a few infections as a babe and was recommended circ - which my brother (who's done) refused. The infections cleared up after a few and at the ripe age of 18 - my nephew's never had another infection.

You have no evidence that her son will suffer on-going infections and pain and suffering.

[4fabbokids]

ok, fair enough, I really didnt think my post would be offensive but I apologise to the OP and to others who may of been offended..

Miliner - recurrent or chronic UTIs in boys is often a symptom of other congenital problems associated with the penis eg misaligned uretha (the little hole is on the side)

Recurrent or chronic UTIs can cause scarring and narrowing of the foreskin which can create problems when the boy is older....


So basically, what Im trying to say is that UTIs can be secondary to other problems and if left alone the problem wont go away because the there is usually something else creating the UTIs

One UTI is not usually a problem but when it happens comtiually it needs to be investigated.

It worries me when we are too quick discount advice because we are too worried that we may 'hurt' our kids...or do something that people will not agree with.

[shanz]

i agree surgery, of any kind carries great risk, especially in children.
Also it was stated "one day" of discomfort. I dont know if you are speaking from experience there, but my nephew was circ'd at 3 and he suffered a few days of pain, followed by about a week of discomfort.
Speaking as a parent if i was told my child needed their tonsils out because of recurrent tonsilitis and then they didnt get tonsilitis again for months i certainly would be reassessing the situation. It isnt just because it involves the penis.
Would you get your daughter circ'd if she was to get infections?

[Milliner]

No, please, I would like to see the studies that state ' And the problem will continue

Not just your opinion or bits and pieces that you have cut out of an article.

[Jakois]

If it were me I would have weighed up the pros and cons -

pro - no more infections and discomfort for our son..one less thing to worry about

con - 1 day of discomfort, miniscule risk of surgery, the risk of further infection which can lead to kidney problems, an increased risk of further discomfort and sickness

a no brainer for me really!!

you say you couldnt do the circ to your son and yet you can let him go through further discomfort when the problem returns - because it will as once it starts its almost impossible to cure.

you made the best choice for yourself, not for your son.

Somtimes we need to make decisions for our kids which are harder for us as parents than the kids - sorry, but you protected yourself from having to watch your son feel pain which inevitably will cause more suffering for your child.

Please explain where you got this info from?:confused::confused:

[Mybabble]

you made the best choice for yourself, not for your son.




That is the biggest load of cr@p ive ever heard! And yep, you have offended me.

Why would i willingly put my son through alot of pain just 'incase' he may get another infection?

He hasnt had an infection for MONTHS..

If he ever has reoccurring infections again we will go through the whole process again of seeing doctors and specialists and make the best decision for HIM, not me, not anyone else.

[3blue&1pink]

I think you made the right choice..

I was wearing your shoes a few months ago.. one of my boys had constant infections.. After speaking to a few Drs they advised to have him circ'd.

His father is done.. and wanted our other son done at the same time so all three boys were matching.

I will admit I did consider it because once he is done the problem would never come back.. or so they think.

But I decided against it.. I made the choice that I will watch him closely and when he is old enough he will be taught how to clean it and if we have more infections we will cross that bridge then..

We haven't had another infection :yelclap:

And both my boys are still intact :yes:


:hugs: for you and your son! Well done mumma!


BTW do you know what causes the infections? I was wondering if it could be my sons nappy rubbing in that area causing it.. he is no longer in nappys and hasent had any infections :confused:

[Mybabble]

I think you made the right choice..

I was wearing your shoes a few months ago.. one of my boys had constant infections.. After speaking to a few Drs they advised to have him circ'd.

His father is done.. and wanted our other son done at the same time so all three boys were matching.

I will admit I did consider it because once he is done the problem would never come back.. or so they think.

But I decided against it.. I made the choice that I will watch him closely and when he is old enough he will be taught how to clean it and if we have more infections we will cross that bridge then..

We haven't had another infection :yelclap:

And both my boys are still intact :yes:


:hugs: for you and your son! Well done mumma!


BTW do you know what causes the infections? I was wondering if it could be my sons nappy rubbing in that area causing it.. he is no longer in nappys and hasent had any infections

Good for you too:D

We were told that DS has phimosis. (tight foreskin). The doctors and specialists we saw said that over time his foreskin may or may not stretch.None of them could really give us a definate answer as to what would happen, which is why we made the decision we did. And I'm happy with that :) Like you said, if the problem arises again ill cross that bridge when i come to it.

Mummas do know best and there is nothing like mothers intuition:thumbsup:

[Ange&Seth]

Good on you KristyK :yelclap: for making the decision which you feel is in the best interests of your child. That's all we as parents can do.

I have to say though that I had a giggle to see someone saying you were doing the wrong thing :laughing: It's normally the people who DO circ who cop the flak, not the other way around!

[kayla Lilyz mum]

My partner who is 28 had phimosis ( tight foreskin) and has just recently had a circumcision because the cream he was given didn't work for him, he found it very painful and had a few weeks off work and still doesn't wear underwear 15 weeks later. He wished his parents had got it done when he was a baby as it has caused him a few problems in his adult life, that said im not sure if i had a son one day that i could do it. My partner is undecided if he would want to do it to his own son. It is a hard decision but i think u made the right one for you and your son at this time, u did what felt right to u. Good on u.

[MotherNurture]

ok, fair enough, I really didnt think my post would be offensive but I apologise to the OP and to others who may of been offended..

Miliner - recurrent or chronic UTIs in boys is often a symptom of other congenital problems associated with the penis eg misaligned uretha (the little hole is on the side)

Recurrent or chronic UTIs can cause scarring and narrowing of the foreskin which can create problems when the boy is older....


So basically, what Im trying to say is that UTIs can be secondary to other problems and if left alone the problem wont go away because the there is usually something else creating the UTIs

One UTI is not usually a problem but when it happens comtiually it needs to be investigated.

It worries me when we are too quick discount advice because we are too worried that we may 'hurt' our kids...or do something that people will not agree with.

Just a quick response:

The OP didn't specify what kind of infection. You're assuming it was a UTI, apparently. I saw no indication of that by her description. Infections are typically fungal (typically candida/yeast), bacterial, or viral. In most cases, penis infections in children are yeast or bacteria. Yeast is curable with an anti-fungal, and is treatable in the same way a woman's vaginal yeast infection is. A bacterial infection is treated with antibiotics. Either way, I'd love to see proof that either is guaranteed to reoccur or "incurable". That's ridiculous.

In addition, I have never seen any evidence that mild hypospadias causes UTIs or that UTIs are responsible for phimosis.

To the OP:

Your son is currently healthy and you followed your instincts. Kudos!!! If the infection reoccurs, I would demand a culture be taken to determine exactly what kind of pathogen you're dealing with. Once you know for sure, you can focus on treatment and future prevention. If it's candida (yeast) there are probiotic therapies that can help. If it's a bacteria, knowing what type can help insure you get an optimally effective antibiotic. Some infections are resistant to or not easily cured by broad spectrum antibiotics.

(((hugs)))

Jen

[Electric Mumi]

Kirsty in my opinion I think u have chosen the best root for now! I wouldnt get it done either if he hadnt had it for months..no way. Like tonsils...why have them out if the bouts of tonsilitis have cleared up for some time!?

Circ is a last resort. Good on u for staying strong! :hugs:

[Ys_Woman]

I cant do it to him, he hasnt had any infections since we saw the specialist.Ive made up my mind, i wont be going to the hospital on Tuesday morning.
****GRAPHIC WARNING*****
This thread is pretty old now so obviously your son either had the surgery or not. I hope you don't mind but I would just like to share my own experience of this.
My son, who is 7, had no signs of any infections until early last year. Dr found raised white blood cell count but nothing to suggest why. All went well for six months then he complained of painful wee so back to dr, urine test, raised white blood cells but no obvious infection.
A month later still complaining of pain when urinating so we see the gp who realises the foreskin is so darned tight and scarred that it is strangling him. Off we go to the specialist. He says it is something called Phimosis and will require steroid cream same as you for three months. A few weeks later son is running around screaming every time he needs to urinate..and I mean screaming/crying/terrorised. His penis is swollen and purple. I make an emergency appt with the specialist who nods his head a lot and murmurs and says surgery will take place within 4 MONTHS.
The next evening he is having a sleepover at my eldest dd's house when she rings to say she has called an ambulance. DS1 has been screaming non-stop for half an hour and cannot sit still. They take him to the closest hospital but they cannot admit him so they send him on to another. He is given very strong painkillers and when I arrive is fairly quiet. I look under the blanket and am horrified with what I see (still makes me cry even writing about it).
A doctor wants to catheterise my son but I suggest he look at the penis first..when he does he realises there is no way he can put anything into the head of the penis as it is closed over with a giant blister, is swollen to four times usual size, and is almost blue. Just as he was cutting through the blister to release the trapped urine a surgeon showed up and told him to stop (thank God!!). He told me that DS1 had a condition called BXO..no known cause, just happens to some boys. He had emergency surgery within half an hour where they did a partial circumcision but had to leave the infected area open for the next six months.
DS1 had the final surgery in March of this year.
The penis does not look like it would have, had the specialist done the operation before it got that bad. I am angry with myself for holding in my emotions and not screaming the place down to have it done immediately. I wanted to when he suggested the cream but I acquiesced to his superior knowledge and look where it got us.
I read later that the cream is useless when there is scarring at the head of the foreskin..too late.
If three specialists are recommending surgery then perhaps it would be worth doing.
I would hate for you to post at a later point that your son had suffered the way mine has.
Just my opinion.
I know there are ppl out there who abhor the idea of circumcision but I am seriously considering it for my new bub. The specialist suggested waiting til he is 9mths old so it can be done under anaesthesia. I don't want this bub to suffer the same as his brother..and I read an article about identical twins who both had BXO..so a genetic link has been established.
I wish you well..but I would urge you to seriously consider your decision.

Amy.

[veve]

wow ... I'm stunned .. what a well worded post ..

I"m truly sorry your little guy had to go through that whole experience .. :hugs: and I cant imagine what it was like .. being mum through all of that .. :hugs:

good luck making the decision that is right for your other little man

xx
Jen

[reAllytee]

Y's woman :hugs::hugs:

Thankyou for sharing your story ....

I hope your little man comes on leaps & bounds now.

[Ys_Woman]

Thank you lovely ladies. I can't believe how deeply emotional I still feel about it..and I worry for what it has cost ds1 emotionally. We aren't completely out of the woods yet as he came to us yesterday suggesting there may still be a problem. Back to the specialist.
Hugs,
Amy:)