Do you ever just feel like banging your head against a wall...?

[MilkOnTap]

Honestly? Of all the 'high-risk' women on BubHub I'm sure that most of you patrol the hallways of the homebirthing threads - and I'm also sure that a large proportion of you are sick of what the medical system flouts as being necessary (yes I'm talking about c/sects).

Thing is - we write in the c/sect threads, we share our experiences and stats of risks etc blah blah blah... but how can we REALLY make a difference?

Is there any point in trying?

[PaperTiger]

No there isn't, but I just can't help myself. :)

[Fuchsia!]

No there isn't, but I just can't help myself. :)

:laughing: :laughing:

Im not sure, when you work it out can you tell me too please?

[tyler's mum]

I think any birth can be high risk iykwim. I think if you want a home birth you should do it. I would never want one because i would be scared of what may go wrong. But im not against it if someone wants to have one.

[doulacara]

If you can save one mother from an unnecessary scar on her uterus and one baby from the trauma of an unnecessary c/s 'delivery' - then you have made a difference somewhere.

[AM]

I'm the same, I can't help myself either, always have to put my 2c in ;)

[tyler's mum]

If you can save one mother from an unnecessary scar on her uterus and one baby from the trauma of an unnecessary c/s 'delivery' - then you have made a difference somewhere.

I had a nature birth and it was very trauma for both me and tyler so its not just c/s. Both me and tyler almost died and i found out later i should never have had her nature.

[onemummmy]

I think its really important women know more about homebirth. I never knew it was an option and wish I did. I also think it would be fantastic if it was alot more accessible(money wise as well as more IMs) so yeah, theres a point.

[MilkOnTap]

Maybe I feel like I cant make a difference yet because I need to actually do it first LOL. Sort of like with breastfeeding - its only now that I've made it to one year that I feel like I can offer practical advice and knowledge on the issue. I suppose it would be the same once I have SUCCEEDED with my HBAC :p

[Fuchsia!]

Actually just keep doing what you are doing. there will always be someone out there that will listen. I used to think that homebirthers are crazy hippies and have no idea what they are doing and that they were being unsafe. How wrong was i! Well not about the hippy part :p

Once i was very defensive about people bagging out C/S's i used to get so worked up and annoyed at people.

But after reading many many debates on C/S and VB's i finally done some research and and after people put their opinions and info out on the table im now batting for the homebirthers and natural birth side even though i will never be able to have a VB again.

[neostudded]

:thumbsup: Jaxcoop!

I want a home birth one day, and no doubt my mum will have something to say about it.:rolleyes:

She says it is dangerous :ecomcity:Putting baby at risk..You know the usual.

I just dont listen to her!

And I will be telling her once I get a :bfp: (which is not any time soon), that if she wants to be there for the birth, she is not to say anything negative to me.:D

But yes, it does annoy me as a home birther to be who is not even pregnant yet.

[SassyMummy]

Having never had a homebirth (or vaginal birth for that matter), and not wanting to have a baby anytime soon, I've been keeping out of hte Homebirth section for a while...

But I completely relate to your sentiments.

If someone is saying, "The doctor told me I'd never be able to VB cos my baby is too big," or something, I sit there thinking, "PLEASE DON'T JUST AGREE COS HE HAS A MEDICAL DEGREE AND YOU DON'T, YOU'LL KICK YOURSELF OVER IT LATER!"

It's so hard though - partly because then someone will respond with some pro-caesarean rant, which will make me angry, and then I'll respond to that, and then I'll likely get infracted/edited and then it jsut seems pointless anyway. lol.

They won't listen anyway... and that just sh*ts me even more...

I dunno, it really bugs me. I've started to care less and less... unless the person seems particularly confused/vulnerable... and anyway, usually the threads are only there asking for validation... wanting people to nod in agreement and say, "yes, everything you're doing is right!" rather than asking for actual help.

I dunno... I kinda avoid them much more than I used to.

[PaperTiger]

:thumbsup: Jaxcoop!



Yeah Sara..great post!
btw, I love your sig line..:laughing:


This subject is something I am passionate about because I see all the lies, emotional blackmail and plain scaremongering that goes on with maternal and newborn care in hospitals and it just sickens me. I really want women to see this and start taking care of themselves and stand up and say no.
However, I realise that although there may be one or two women here and there who may read what is stated and change how they think about maternal services in this country, most want to continue believing in their obstetricians and hospitals. So unless there are blatant untruths being written I tend to say out of most subjects these days. :cool:

Besides I tend to kill threads for some reason :) and I do think the subjects deserve continuing debate.

[Claire-Bear]

shhh can you women keep it down..my head hurts from all the banging I have been doing.

I have been "over it" for a while, just coming back into a stage of fighting the good fight again. I have been on the "one woman at a time" phase of late. Time to go back to bringing it to the masses.

[jembelina]

The fact that this section exists within this forum means so many women are being exposed to information, opinions, stories, etc that they would otherwise not have been.
There will always be people you just can't reach...........but the more 'seen' you are the more people will be thinking about their choices. The person who you might be responding to may not accept your info or advice, but someone lurking just might.
In the past I would have never entertained the idea of a homebirth...hell, when I first thought about having aVBAC, my initial reaponse was no way. I ended up however, waving my proud "I did it" banner and am so thankful...........had it not been for bubhub, I imagine I would have ended up with another ceasar. And now I have the notion of homebirth floating around in the back of my mind!!! And it is because I have read a few posts, seen signatures, read birth stories, etc.
So ladies, don't stop!!

[~Emmylou~]

Once i was very defensive about people bagging out C/S's i used to get so worked up and annoyed at people.

But after reading many many debates on C/S and VB's i finally done some research and and after people put their opinions and info out on the table im now batting for the homebirthers and natural birth side even though i will never be able to have a VB again.

jaxcoop - I for one have noticed the journey you've been on in the last few months ;) :hugs: It's because of women like you that I do keep banging my head against the wall. For every 100 people here that accuse us of "ramming our opinions down their throats", I know that there is someone else like you, probably reading and NOT replying, but the seeds are being sown and they're at least thinking about it in an objective way and are able to see past their kneejerk emotional reaction that they're being "guiltripped" or worse :(

As far as banging my head goes...well please see my user title :P

I'm more over it than usual today :gloomy:

Usually when that happens I go and sulk for a few days... and then I get fired up about something else and I'm back LOL.

[~Emmylou~]

Hmmm Claire. I think I feel a "one woman at a time" phase coming on here.

I'm feeling very burnt out and frustrated of late :( Not just here, with the whole thing in general :( I think I need to connect again and make some breathing room :dizzy: I feel a bit isolated at the moment :(

[AM]

Emmylou - I've been there...many times...but the fire gets lit again, just when I think I am over everything 'birth'

You'll be back, firing on all cylinders, it's just a bit of temporary burnout I would say ;)

[PaperTiger]

Maybe this could be the beginnings of a "Head Bangers United" thread, where we could just come along and moan about how frustrated we feel....:D :D

I am the same as you Emmylou I feel isolated too....it'll be okay though. I honestly do think times are changing. Many more people are questioning now and that is a definate improvement on even 2 years ago. :yes:

[Pixie]

I think there is a point in trying, you just have to be diplomatic and be able to state where you have information from if people ask you. I got asked this morning about something, and then asked where I found it out.

I don't go around saying "OMG homebirth, vaginal births are the way to go" I would never force my beliefs onto another.

Like I said somewhere else today on bubhub people ask, then you can share they don't well I don't offer it up for conversation it would pointless.

[J&C0508]

I'd like to say that i am one of those lurkers who peruse the posts looking for info and taking in peoples experiences and knowledge without replying (majority of the time).
So i find all the info people offer usefull, if only i had discovered it earlier things may have turned out differenty for my own experiences.

What ever way we bring our litle bundles of joy into the world is an accomplishment (sp) that every women should be proud of. We birth our babies whether they come out our tummies or our vagina.
If i had the guts to plan home birth i would, although secretly i wouldnt mind if i didnt quite make it to the hospital iykwim. Just dont have the guts to plan it. I'm going for a vba2c next time so i need all the info and 'SUPPORT' i can get.

[neostudded]

"OMG homebirth, vaginal births are the way to go"

That would make for an interesting Tee shirt...:detective::laughing:

[MsMouse]

Absolutely there is a point in trying.

If I didn't have this vast collection of peoples views in groups, online, at my child health nurse, continually available in front of me and waving its arms in the air to get noticed, I would be headed down exactly the same path as I was last time, that is, doing exactly what I'm told, by one single person, who is really only in it for what's good for them.

People like you have really made a difference, I'd be booked in to an elective Csec by now, dreading the horror time after. Or maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I'd have adjusted my dreams in life to suit less children or wait longer out of fear of that inability to parent as much as I want

Thanks!:hugs:

I hope I can do the same for someone else soon

[doulacara]

Usually when that happens I go and sulk for a few days... and then I get fired up about something else and I'm back LOL.


I find it cyclical for me too. Had a very birthy day yesterday: attended a birth in hospital where the midwife trampled all over my client's requests for a physiological third stage because of a ridiculous hospital policy and bullying tactics against midwives. :shame: Then went to hear Michel Odent talk about oxytocin and solitude and undisturbed birth and am all fired up.

Why won't everyone just accept that natural birth is the 'right' way. LOL
My life would be so much simpler - and my DH would be grateful too.

[PunkyDiva]

Although we point the finger at Obs, insurance companies, medical intervention and hospy protocol etc for high c/s figures it is the woman themselves pushing these figures up as well and it is only through keeping up the :hair: and always being polite and informative without taking others negativity or defensiveness on board, we can and do make a difference. Keep up the good work :thumbsup:

[mixy]

If someone is saying, "The doctor told me I'd never be able to VB cos my baby is too big," or something, I sit there thinking, "PLEASE DON'T JUST AGREE COS HE HAS A MEDICAL DEGREE AND YOU DON'T, YOU'LL KICK YOURSELF OVER IT LATER!"

This has to personally be my fav! because if they had of realised i was having a nearly 11 lb baby, i would have been scared and then convinced to have a c-sec, but nope he was delived natural *go me:D*

I just wish that women could see the lies being told to them:( :hugs: to them.

[MilkOnTap]

Thanks for the gee-up ladies. Think I need to get back onto the rescue remedy :laughing:

[reAllytee]

You certainly arent alone in feeling this way ...

Which is often why im rather narky of late :o

Just get so cranky over various things that ive had enough & stay away but then i just cant help myself lol !

Really drives me nuts that i wouldve been one of 'those' mums who wouldve believed she needed her babies delivered via c/s after Boof's birth due to what all the doctors & midwives were telling me.

Im grateful for BH & im grateful for those who even though ive often gotten angry at them for making me think about things & making me look at things from a different angle etc. If it werent for this place with certain threads & posts i wouldnt have stepped outside my safety net.

You wont stop now Ally cause you wont allow yourself because you were fooled iykwim & knowing you i know you wont want anyone else to be fooled.

[shed]

Well, I don't care about the homebirth movement as such, I mean, I care that it should be free, but I don't care if no one but me uses it, lol.

But I do care about the intervention rates in our system, I can't help it. I hate standing by and watching them go like lambs to the slaughter and then some of them being so grateful for their butchering because they have been so misled into believing they have been rescued by the very people who were the cause of them needing to be 'saved'.

I can't help it. I try not to care but I feel guilty if I say nothing.

Something about evil prospering and good men doing nothing, or something like that. That's me. I have to try and save them for real, before they get pretend-saved by being disected.

[MummaBear03]

Having never had a homebirth (or vaginal birth for that matter), and not wanting to have a baby anytime soon, I've been keeping out of hte Homebirth section for a while...

But I completely relate to your sentiments.

If someone is saying, "The doctor told me I'd never be able to VB cos my baby is too big," or something, I sit there thinking, "PLEASE DON'T JUST AGREE COS HE HAS A MEDICAL DEGREE AND YOU DON'T, YOU'LL KICK YOURSELF OVER IT LATER!"

It's so hard though - partly because then someone will respond with some pro-caesarean rant, which will make me angry, and then I'll respond to that, and then I'll likely get infracted/edited and then it jsut seems pointless anyway. lol.

They won't listen anyway... and that just sh*ts me even more...

I dunno, it really bugs me. I've started to care less and less... unless the person seems particularly confused/vulnerable... and anyway, usually the threads are only there asking for validation... wanting people to nod in agreement and say, "yes, everything you're doing is right!" rather than asking for actual help.

I dunno... I kinda avoid them much more than I used to.

Yes! I totally agree with that! Sometimes it's better to shake your head and walk away than to say something which is just going to make you angry and get you nowhere.

C-sections have saved lives, but unnecessary c-sections have also put a lot of lives at risk and robbed mothers of the birth nature intended for us. I was quite happily going to go along with one because the doctor said so, then she came before that and she came the natural way, drug-free and all and I am so glad that happened because it could and I didn't even think twice about it because I was "high risk" (truly was) and they weren't sure about a natural delivery.