Emotional or Sexual

[LittleButton]

One more poll for tonight girls... Just need opinions and votes! Gives you something to think about.

In your opinion, is it worse for your partner to be involved in:

A sexual (non-emotional) affair with another person?

or

An emotional (non-sexual) affair?

[poshBecks]

Gee thats tough!

I actually need "other" as an option. Because I think they are as bad as each other.

[LittleButton]

I would have put an "other" option but figured no one would choose lol

[Benji]

My X was involved in an emotional affair (which I later found out was also sexual :rolleyes:) and it really cut deep, right into my soul. It hurt me quite badly.

I think emotional hurts a lot more. I think if I found out he had a one night stand with someone else, I would have still left and have been hurt, but not as bad as raising someone else's child when they technically have another girlfriend.

Must admit though, STI's etc scare me a lot so they are both awful.

[Fuchsia!]

how do mean emotional though? i don't get it! lol!

[LittleButton]

Emotional

Your DP,DH,DB has fallen in love with someone else... (no sexualness involved) Has fallen in love and wants the "other person"

Sexual

Simply Has had sex with someone else, no strings attached... Just a random fling (no emotions involved)

[~Temet Nosce~]

...hmm thats a tough one.. to me they are both as equally bad but for different reasons.. I cant really answer that.

[TeamAwesome]

They are as bad as each other in my book as we vowed to forsake all others when we got married and that means in every sense of the word to us.

[Aussiemummy]

An affair is an affair, whether emotional, sexual or both in my opinion. So there both as bad as each other, & I would never forgive or trust a man who chose to do either. As I obviously don't mean enough to him.

(Please don't be offended by this comment above, as I certainly know many couples are still able to make their relationships work after an affair, I just personally would'nt be able to cope...)

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Both almost just as bad- He would be out the door for either offence!!!!! Emotional slightly worse- especially if he LOVED the other person. Either way he has allowed himself to do or be onvolved in something that should have been stopped in it's tracks by him.

[Fuchsia!]

...hmm thats a tough one.. to me they are both as equally bad but for different reasons.. I cant really answer that.
yeah i agree

[SorenLorensen]

they are pretty much just as bad as each other but if i had to pick one i think i woudl be more heart broken if it was emotional.
either would mean the end of our relationship, i think if he had just had sex with someone it would hurt and as i said i would be heart broken but to know he had fallen in love with someone else..........i don't even have to words to explain how crushed i would be if that happened.

even sitting here if i imagine him saying i had sex with someone else....i woudl be so angry its not funny
but imagining him saying he has fallen in love with someone else brings tears to my eyes...and thats just the thought of it

[drewid]

I think I could handle an emotional one better - it would be easier to leave. The sexual side is so much harder to deal with, and to move on from.

[prideNJoy]

IMO emotional is worse, i don't think there is much coming back from that.

Sex is just that. Sex. I think that would be much easier to deal with and move on from. (If you wanted to continue on with the relationship)

[GummyBear]

Both would leave me angry, but I think I would find it harder to get over an emotional affair.

To me that means he is sharing his thoughts and feelings elsewhere and selling our relationship short. Come to think of it, a sexual affair would be the same kind of thing, but I think with an emotional affair there's a lot of concentrated effort going into a relationship that shouldn't exist in the first place.

[canberramomma]

I don't really care about the sex thing, but an emotional affair would be the worst betrayal to me.

[drewid]

What about if its both? That the emotional side of things has gone on for a while and it built up into one sexual encounter and then ended completely?

[canberramomma]

Then you're f###ed!!! The relationship is over, I'd say. Sexual AND emotional trumps everything else. That's why couples pair off. Hope this isn't happening to anyone ATM.

[drewid]

I've been there, and still wonder whether I made the right decision. I don't think I'll ever be 100% sure what was the right thing to do.

Anyway this is not my thread to moan in, I'm out :)

[Mischief]

I voted sexual after alot of thought, my reasoning...

If it was an emotional affair and had not progressed to sexual, I would know that he still loved me enough to respect our marraige vows.

If it was sexual, he would have broken our vows and I would feel that I no longer ment anything to him.

Honestly, its a fine line though between severity.

[Reidymac]

I voted sexual after alot of thought, my reasoning...

If it was an emotional affair and had not progressed to sexual, I would know that he still loved me enough to respect our marraige vows.

If it was sexual, he would have broken our vows and I would feel that I no longer ment anything to him.

Honestly, its a fine line though between severity.


Hmmmmmm... I think I have to agree with Mischief.

People have absolute control over their actions but the heart and mind is a tricky beast and doesn't always do what you want it to.

Even in a long and loving relationship Love is a fluid thing that changes and ebbs and grows. I remember hearing an elderly couple who were asked about the secret of their lasting 60 year marriage say..."the secret was that they never fell out of love at the same time" :confused: At first I didn't really understand that statement .....but as I get older I think I am beginning to. It is possible to love someone and still have a 'crush' or an emotional connection with another.........but it is a whole other thing to move that onto a intimate sexual level.

Having said that....If it was an emotional affair with a former lover than I would wonder if he ever fell out of love with her and if our relationship was genuine....

its a fine and heartwrentching line either way.

[Lastcenturymum]

Neither are acceptable - they are as bad as either other and amount to betrayal of trust, which all relationships should be based on.

[SassyMummy]

While I think both would hurt, I think that discovering my partner was in love with someone else would hurt me more.

I think, more than anything else, a sex-only fling would bruise my ego. I'd think, "What, am I not sexy enough?" and start worrying about how fat I must be, etc...

But to discover that he was in love with someone else would crush me. It wouldn't bruise my ego - I'd just hate that there'd be NOTHING I could do to change that. The heart wants what the heart wants, and knowing that it was completely out of my control would break me.

I think with a sex-only affair, I'd feel anger and resentment and may even want to seek revenge.

With a love-affair, I'd feel hurt and saddness and numbness.

I'd actually probably find it even harder to cope with if he was in love with someone, but hadn't slept with her or anything. It would mean that he wasn't a complete b*stard, and it'd make it impossible for me to hate him... which I'd really want to do, because it'd make things so much easier for me.

I'd find it much easier to hate him for hurting me, than love him but watch him leave to be with someone else that he truly loved... because that's probably what I'd do... I wouldn't want to be with someone if I loved someone else, and I wouldn't want to trap him... despite perhaps my initial reactions which would be all about me doing whatever it took to convince him to say...