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Tea Lady
11-04-2006, 08:08 PM
This is probably in the wrong place, but until there's a section for post-miscarriage rants it will have to do.

I'm just feeling miserable after my horrible gynae appt yesterday so I thought I'd inflict my misery on everyone else too.

I had to wait an hour for my appt only to go in and realise the Dr really had no idea why I was there. I can't blame him because I'm not really sure what the point of the appt was myself, but I had my list of Qs that I wanted to ask and I thought at least I could talk to an expert and it might put my mind at rest about a few things.

Anyway I found him hard to understand because of his accent (not his fault) so I think I answered his 1st Q wrong (about whether I'd had other blood tests - I said no because I hadn't had any since the m/c but I think he meant "at all"). He then told me that he'd send me for another blood test to see if my HCG levels had RISEN - what the????? I was floored so I mumbled something about bleeding for a week etc and he said that there was a slim chance it was still ok etc etc and so I told him that they'd done an u/s at the emergency dept and found nothing and he said it might have been too early. I don't think he even read my file properly (I m/c at 7 weeks) because I think he must have got it into his head that the pg could have been much earlier than I thought and that my HCG levels were low because of that. It was just so awful for him to talk as if the pregnancy might have continued because I know it hasn't and it's painful enough without someone acting as if everything might still be ok. It's hard to explain. :(

Anyway, I'm not really annoyed at him because he was trying to make me feel better and like I hadn't wasted my trip but i found it so upsetting - it was like he was telling me the miscarriage wasn't real, but I was so flabergasted at what he was saying that I couldn't even explain myself properly to him. :( It was just horrible - he kept talking about what he'd do if my levels were higher and I just wanted to shake him. And I didn't get to ask any of my questions after all that.

I decided I might as well have the blood test since at least it would show if my levels are back to 0, so I went to the MATERNITY SECTION where they take the blood (fighting back tears by this stage and trying desperately not to think about what just happened) and the very nice girl who took the blood looked at the form, and when she saw it was for HCG she said "Oh, I wonder what this is for?" obviously assuming I was confirming a pregnancy. I could have died. :crying:

Anyway, I at least made it back to the car before I bawled my eyes out. It's just so frustrating because now I feel terrible about it again and before yesterday I was feeling fine.

End of rant. Thanks for reading.

rynosmum
11-04-2006, 08:19 PM
Rant away.....I still do it and mine was almost 3 years ago now (although seems like only yesterday).:(

I can't believe that he could be discussing a M/c or even a potential one without reading completely through the file to confirm what he was talking about. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

I remember the day I found out about mine, my DH was miles away and uncontactable at the time, it was a public holiday, my family was all together at a family luncheon and there I was, sitting in a OB's rooms (she had come in on the public holiday) and she's asking me to confirm I could go to hospital immediately for a D&C - I couldn't even respond properly. Then, in hospital, they kept asking me to tell them why I was there...then they would ask..."and do you know why you are having the D&C" ?

Silly questions at an incredibly sensitive time. All the qualifications in the world are pointless if the bedside manner doesn't exist....:hugs:

Tea Lady
11-04-2006, 08:23 PM
Thanks Katrina. It shouldn't make me feel better that other people have been through it too, but it does :o YKWIM!

PinkBinkie
11-04-2006, 08:25 PM
Hi Tea Lady

So sorry that you had to go through that!!

We assume that doctors always know what they're talking about, until we experience otherwise! I know they are human too and humans make mistakes but he could have least taken the time to read your file before advising you on what to do next!

I'm just sorry that his incompetence led to you feeling miserable and I hope you start feeling better again soon.

rynosmum
11-04-2006, 08:31 PM
Thanks Katrina. It shouldn't make me feel better that other people have been through it too, but it does :o YKWIM!

I do :hugs:

reAllytee
11-04-2006, 08:35 PM
I havent really got anything to say im just really sorry that you had to go through this.
:hugs:
I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Tea Lady
11-04-2006, 08:39 PM
Thanks lovely ladies. I am extra lucky that I have my daughter's cold (as of last night) and that my parents left today for a few months overseas (bye bye babysitters). Waaaaaaaah!!!

No, I'm very aware that in the scheme of things it wasn't that bad - I'm just a tad emotional these days :rolleyes: :o

Blessed Mum
11-04-2006, 08:46 PM
Tea Lady thinking of you & sending you :hugs: . I really hope you feel better soon but I don't blame you for feeling the way you do - I too certainly would of needed a good rant/vent after all of that. That's what we are here for. I don't think I would of made it to the car before bawling though.

In my thoughts
Tara

razzle
11-04-2006, 08:50 PM
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: And get a new doctor sweets - he sounds like an insensitive, incompetent loser. :thumbsdown:

MariaO
11-04-2006, 10:29 PM
That was not a rant at all or a very very deserved one- what a terrible ordeal - Lordy - you can do without that -

hope you are feeling a bit better.......

Bron
11-04-2006, 11:20 PM
Hi Lucy

:hugs: What a challenging time for you. I am thinking of you. Your experiences and frustrations sound all too familiar!

Love
Bron

:hugs: :hugs:

Mischief
12-04-2006, 09:30 AM
Hey Tealady! :hugs:

I think you need another doctor too. Someone who has a bit more bedside manner and can help you emotionally as well as physically to get through your loss.

You poor thing, I hope things get much better for you!!! XXOO

Kat

mumslilspunks
12-04-2006, 09:32 AM
I really feel for you ya poor bugger. I definately think you should consider a new doctor! He sounds like an uncareing @#$%!
Hope all these posts are cheering you up a little:hugs:
Remeber theres all ways ears to listen and support here!:kiss:

*Country Bumpkin*
12-04-2006, 10:10 AM
Ohh how terrible!!! I cant even begin to imagine how you must have been feeling....:crying:

I dont see this as a rant at all...I see it as you needing to open up and let how your feelig out.... its the only way to cope with grief and loss...and you know were all here to listen :hugs:

I hope you feel better realy soon:hugs: :kiss:

flib
12-04-2006, 10:39 AM
Tea Lady

That is so awful. It's bad enough losing a baby, let alone having to deal with insensitive and incompetent medicos. For many of them it's just another early pregnancy loss but for you it's a little person with a birth day and maybe names and lots of hopes and dreams.

Have a good cry and then treat yourself. Buy yourself something you love to eat that's expensive (like Lindt chocolate or something yummy from the deli) or something to wear or have along bath with something smelly in it. Nuture yourself!

When I miscarried, i decided to do something positive everyday. For me, it was the garden. I planted watered weeded my little front garden every day and watched it grow. I like to do this anyway but I made a special effort. I felt more positive about my ability to nuture and my garden looked great!

Take care

Flib

Tea Lady
12-04-2006, 11:32 AM
Thanks again everyone for the understanding and the good advice. I don't think I'll bother with another Dr because I don't think I really needed an appt anyway (which I think was the cause of the prob really - the 1st dr was trying to be thorough and nice and that's why I got the referral :rolleyes: ).

It makes me feel much better to talk to you guys :hugs:

MonkeyMum05
12-04-2006, 12:22 PM
Hi Tea Lady...

I wanted to send you a great big hug :hugs: !

I have not been in your position, so I won't pretend to understand...
just know that there's lots of love and healing vibes being sent your way!;)

MumsieMel
12-04-2006, 02:13 PM
Sorry hun :hugs: