PND or just lonely?

[dormouse]

Lately, I have been feeling very down.
I love my husband & my daughter and I dont think that they are any part of what is bothering me. I have been told that I may have PND, but I have only really started feeling down in the past few weeks. My daughter is 7.5 months old & though, I am aware the PND can strike anytime in the first year or so after birth, I really don't think that is what is wrong.

Since I first moved in with my husband, I have not been very close to any of my old friends & I have been having a very hard time making new ones. I would really like some other mummy friends but I don't know how to go about it.
I tried going to mothers groups & playgroups in my area, but most of the other mothers were a lot older than me & I didnt feel comfortable. I joined Bubhub & various other forums to try to meet people too, but, though I have met a lot of great ladies, I haven't been able to actually form any friendships. I'm not sure if it is due to lack of effort on my part, or if I am not a very approachable or likeable person.:thumbsdown:
All this has really started to take it's toll on me & I have become very emotional. I really think that I am just lonely! I miss having friends around to do things with & the only conversations I have during the day are with my 7 month old daughter or a computer screen!

Sorry if this doesnt make much sense. I am overtired as I have not been able to sleep well lately.
I'm not really sure what the point of this post is. I just needed to get this off my chest so that I can hopefully get some sleep for once. :(

Thanks for reading...

[rynosmum]

Hi Lindy,

It sounds like you're lonely and it's completely understandable.

I find it quite difficult to make strong new friendships now I have a little one because my mind is always focussed on what he is up to/getting into etc.

I caught up with 2 old friends over the weekend (who also have kids) and found that I couldn't even concentrate on a conversation with them which I found really disappointing. The good thing is, they are a bit the same so it's okay but I really do miss strong female friendships. I have to learn to get DH to watch DS a little more so I can sit down and catch up with all of the girly goss :D

I've also been lucky enough to meet a few great ladies on BubHub. Maybe organise smaller events with just a couple of people - meet at a park or playground one morning, organise to go for a walk with the kids if you live close enough or go to a local fete or event that the kids might enjoy.

All is not lost - you can move forward from here !:hugs:

[SweetSerenity]

Hi Lindy!
First of all here's a hug :):hugs:
I agree, i think its more just lonliness.
I suffer from PND and generally its not just one thing that you feel bad, sad or angry about ... its everything! lol
So by the sounds of it, it does seem like you just need more adult interaction!!! Ie: Mummy Friends! :)
Only you know if your putting enough effort in or not in making friendships, but by the sounds of it you seem like a lovely friendly person!
Maybe try some other mum groups or if theres a local kids club that you can take bub to you may meet some nice mums there??
Good luck with everything and feel free to pm if you ever wanna chat!
Natalie xxx

[Briannabear]

Hugs to you Lindy. :hugs:
It can be very hard and lonely sometimes being a stay home mum. We moved to a new city when I was 8 months pregnant with my DD. We moved away from all our family and friends to a place where we knew no-one. Its taken me a long time to build up some friends here, and I still find myself getting lonely sometimes. So I know how you feel.
You seem like a really nice person so I cant see how people could not like you.

Keep trying mothers groups and playgroups until you find one that suits you. That adult interaction is vital to motherhood survival I think!! ;)

Feel free to PM me anytime you want or need to chat. :)

[Kaycee]

It feels awful to be so isolated and not be able to find a way out. For me it was taking little steps at a time and lowering my expectations, then you gradually begin to feel like you belong. For example I would aim to just talk to someone each day, instead of the goal of "making friends". This gradually developed into others initiating conversation, finding things in common etc

For me it was hard not to unload all my lonliness onto the first person who took the time of day with me - definately a turn-off (not suggesting that this is what you are doing, just something I found hard)

I hope things improve soon.