View Full Version : Leaving serving DP behind
mum of 2 girlz
Hi, my name is Kristie. I have 2 daughters, 18mth and 12 wks old,my DP is in the navy. He will be going to Cerberus in August for 4 months and due to go to sea for 12 months in January. Once he's finished there he will be discharging. I have no family here in Sydney and have an opportunity to live in my sisters old house in qld, and as she runs the local pool, I have a job opportunity with free care for my kids.She will only live 15mins down the road and my parents only 3 hours away. I really miss the support of my family especially when DP is away and I have decided to pack me and the kids up and go. What are your opinions on this? I am curious to know if anyone else has done something similar. Obviously my DP will use reunion travel to visit us as often as possible and he will be joining us on his discharge, it's in no way a breakup, we still love each other extremely.
I think thats a very wise idea. Being surrounded by family and supported, you and your kids, is what will help you get through it all.
I say go for it. DP is going to be away anyway... so no use staying in Sydney with no support.
All the best for the move!
I live MWD(U) at present and am really starting to hate it. We see DH on the weekends when he is alongside, not when he is at sea, obviously. Has been like this for 18 months, hopefully to finish after the next 6 months of almost constant deployment.
Your situation sounds like it is well thought out, and there are definate advantages to you moving up there (as there are to me staying put to finish the renovation on our house), so it is worth a try. Just be aware it isn't easy when you know they are alongside in Sydney and you would be with them if you weren't MWD(U).
Good luck with it, and pm me if you need to whinge, cause I know how it feels.
I think you should go for the MWD(U) and make sure you are his next of kin otherwise he won't get ruinion travel.
We did MDW(U) for 12mths and when he knew the posting was extended we (me and the kids) moved up to Darwin from Sydney. My friends and dad lived in Sydney and I was quite happy to remain there while it was to be a 12mth posting. DH was able to pop home to us every 3mths (depending on his schedule). I did have one upset where I was balling my eyes out 5mths into it. Kids driving me nuts, missing my deceased cat and yeh just it all ****ting me to tears lol. Laughing now but not then of course. It was theraputic to get out my frustrations and have a cry. When I'm sick and down I get sappy and have a teary moment and wishing DH is home.
But alas .. I conquered and survived and am here to tell the tale lol.
I was lucky I was occupied during the days with the community groups and committee meetings etc and when the kids came home from school, that's when the dramas came about. I didn't have control of them in that I was constantly repeating myself and having to yell. Seems so petty now when they are just as hard to deal with.
:D I think you should do it. It sounds like a great move IMO. If you can move closer to family whilst dh is out (so to speak) then i dont see the harm in it at all!!!!!
Good luck with packing!!!
Wow...what a decision. I can so relate to your situation. :crying:
We were all packed up to shift south with our 20mth old and 3wk old baby when the Navy said sorry we need you stay here for another 6wks and then go straight back to sea after that. There was no way we were unpacking and then having to re-pack in 6 wks, so my DH helped us shift in down south over the weekend and then returned back North.
It was awful for all of us.
My parents lived about 10 mins down the road and helped out as much as they could but both of them worked full-time and also needed to have a life outside of 'us'.
Sad to say but I had wished I had stayed up North with my DH. I had also made some great friends up north, moving down south where I socially isolated made it ten time worse. I just had to make the most of the situation and count the days till I saw my DH next.
And after he was deployed to the gulf for 6mths I went back to part-work for some adult interaction.:yelclap:
Family is great if you get the day-time interactions as well as the evening because sometimes as you probably know some days are VERY LONG!!!
My DH is away at the moment and my mum comes over once or twice a week to help in the evenings and the children get all unsettled it takes me an extra hour to get the kids into bed. Don't get me wrong I love seeing her it is just sometimes it is easier to do it yourself.
So, I guess you could say there are positives and negatives to each situation
Good luck with your decision. You must be very anxious about what to do.
Me - 33
DH - 37
DS - 6
DS - 4
DS - 2
DS - 1
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