rynosmum
16-05-2008, 09:45 AM
After losing two babies last year, we wondered whether this would ever happen again for us. Although we were already blessed with a gorgeous 3 year old boy, we were desperate to provide him with a sibling and to grow our family.
I vowed not to give up, started alternative therapies and took a new positive outlook to our future.
I fell pregnant again just two months after our loss in July. Literally every day throughout the pregnancy, I would check for signs of miscarriage - almost obsessively. I wouldn't get excited about it - I tried not to let myself bond with my little one (fat lot of good that did me:laughing:) thinking that somehow I would jinx the pregnancy if I let myself get attached. People bought me presents for the upcoming bub which I packed away - only to bring out again after our precious bundle arrived.
For the few days before the birth, I stressed constantly about whether the baby would arrive safely, whether or not it would healthy etc etc etc.
And then.....the time came.......
For the past two days, I had been getting pre-labour pains. Bub wasn't completely engaged as yet although I was feeling like she was. I went off to an OB appointment and found that I was 3cms dilated. I worried about having someone to look after our son whilst I was labouring so joked that my ideal would be to deliver the baby 'in the morning'. As I came out into the Dr's office after the internal, he hung up the phone and asked 'How would you like to have your baby tomorrow morning?'. If I didn't go into labour overnight, they would break my waters at 7am the following day. I went home, arranged my MIL to be here at 6am, stocked the fridge for the boys, repacked my bag and chewed my fingernails...a LOT!
I had some ongoing cramping pains overnight and my show but it all subsided. At 7am, as planned, my OB met my in the birthing suite and broke my waters - all clear. I was linked up to a drip and set about trying to bring on this bubba. I had 2 midwives - an 'experienced' one and a trainee one. The trainee one was very supportive and caring.:yes:
My OB stopped by again at 9am to see how I was. No contractions as yet, the drip was turned up and he asked me if I would mind if the trainee midwife could deliver the baby (under his guidance of course). No problems at all from me, as long as he would be there which he assured me that he would.
Contractions started at 9:40 and quickly progressed. Within an hour, they were full on. The experienced midwife would call out for them to be recorded as 'mild'. They are not mild I told her - this baby will be here by lunchtime. She disagreed and suggested that late afternoon may be more accurate.
I then overheard her tell the trainee that she would hold off calling the doctor as long as possible so that they could deliver the bub and he could just come to review. I'm glad that I spoke up and said 'Excuse me, I have paid for my OB to be here and as my support, I need him to be here - can you please make sure that he is?'. She looked put out but said that she understood.
By 11am, I felt that I was moving into transition. I was edgy, couldn't get comfortable anywhere, contractions were coming thick and fast. I was starting to lose my visualisation and could just hear the midwife recording my contractions as 'mild to moderate'. I could hardly speak in between them but told her the baby was coming, I HAD to be in transition, the pain and the pressure was all there - could she please do an internal???
She didn't want to do one, said that if I could no longer cope then there would be a few more hours to go. She suggested I needed an epidural. I felt like I was failing but couldn't bare the pain for another few hours - I agreed to it, against my better judgement.
They got the epi in about 20 minutes later and it was yet to start working. I told her again that I was delivering the baby now....she shook her head again but said that it was good to see the contractions stepping up. They had to put in a catheter and whilst they were there I asked again for an internal. She relunctantly agreed and as she did it, her eyes suddenly became wide. She motioned for the trainee midwife to do an internal as well (joy at getting two of them!:rolleyes:) and said - see what you feel - and quickly!
In between two killer contractions I said, I'm fully dilated aren't I? They baby IS coming, isn't it? She nodded her head but paused - I had to push her to ring my OB as he was back at his rooms 20 minutes away.
When the OB got there, the epi was working on one side but they were still trying to work on it. He walked in, asked why I had the epi when I am meant to be delivering (midwife told him it was at my request), then looked over as he was gowning up and said to me 'your baby has dark hair!'....the top of the head was already visible. They turned off the epi at this point.
In three pushes, our gorgeous miracle was here. My wonderful OB described the whole birth and let the trainee midwife actually deliver our baby. The birth itself was wonderful. I had my husband by my side, my trusted OB and the ability to feel my baby come into this world. When they turned her over and we realised she was a girl, we were ecstatic - and still are.
Nothing can take away the beauty and wonder of the birth or of our gorgeous girl, although I have started feeling very let down by the actions of the midwife. She made me feel like I was over reacting, like I couldn't cope with the birth...she made me feel like a failure. She said that she was doing the first bath and I had to be firm that my hubby would do it - thankfully he did as the water they were planning on using was scalding hot:rolleyes:
Oh, and as I had mentioned to her in the first place, our baby would be here by lunchtime. 11:55am to be exact :D
OBs often get the negative feedback that they hold back a birth from being empowering. I find it quite the opposite. My OB has never been anything less than wonderfully supportive - three big cheers for him:thumbsup:
I vowed not to give up, started alternative therapies and took a new positive outlook to our future.
I fell pregnant again just two months after our loss in July. Literally every day throughout the pregnancy, I would check for signs of miscarriage - almost obsessively. I wouldn't get excited about it - I tried not to let myself bond with my little one (fat lot of good that did me:laughing:) thinking that somehow I would jinx the pregnancy if I let myself get attached. People bought me presents for the upcoming bub which I packed away - only to bring out again after our precious bundle arrived.
For the few days before the birth, I stressed constantly about whether the baby would arrive safely, whether or not it would healthy etc etc etc.
And then.....the time came.......
For the past two days, I had been getting pre-labour pains. Bub wasn't completely engaged as yet although I was feeling like she was. I went off to an OB appointment and found that I was 3cms dilated. I worried about having someone to look after our son whilst I was labouring so joked that my ideal would be to deliver the baby 'in the morning'. As I came out into the Dr's office after the internal, he hung up the phone and asked 'How would you like to have your baby tomorrow morning?'. If I didn't go into labour overnight, they would break my waters at 7am the following day. I went home, arranged my MIL to be here at 6am, stocked the fridge for the boys, repacked my bag and chewed my fingernails...a LOT!
I had some ongoing cramping pains overnight and my show but it all subsided. At 7am, as planned, my OB met my in the birthing suite and broke my waters - all clear. I was linked up to a drip and set about trying to bring on this bubba. I had 2 midwives - an 'experienced' one and a trainee one. The trainee one was very supportive and caring.:yes:
My OB stopped by again at 9am to see how I was. No contractions as yet, the drip was turned up and he asked me if I would mind if the trainee midwife could deliver the baby (under his guidance of course). No problems at all from me, as long as he would be there which he assured me that he would.
Contractions started at 9:40 and quickly progressed. Within an hour, they were full on. The experienced midwife would call out for them to be recorded as 'mild'. They are not mild I told her - this baby will be here by lunchtime. She disagreed and suggested that late afternoon may be more accurate.
I then overheard her tell the trainee that she would hold off calling the doctor as long as possible so that they could deliver the bub and he could just come to review. I'm glad that I spoke up and said 'Excuse me, I have paid for my OB to be here and as my support, I need him to be here - can you please make sure that he is?'. She looked put out but said that she understood.
By 11am, I felt that I was moving into transition. I was edgy, couldn't get comfortable anywhere, contractions were coming thick and fast. I was starting to lose my visualisation and could just hear the midwife recording my contractions as 'mild to moderate'. I could hardly speak in between them but told her the baby was coming, I HAD to be in transition, the pain and the pressure was all there - could she please do an internal???
She didn't want to do one, said that if I could no longer cope then there would be a few more hours to go. She suggested I needed an epidural. I felt like I was failing but couldn't bare the pain for another few hours - I agreed to it, against my better judgement.
They got the epi in about 20 minutes later and it was yet to start working. I told her again that I was delivering the baby now....she shook her head again but said that it was good to see the contractions stepping up. They had to put in a catheter and whilst they were there I asked again for an internal. She relunctantly agreed and as she did it, her eyes suddenly became wide. She motioned for the trainee midwife to do an internal as well (joy at getting two of them!:rolleyes:) and said - see what you feel - and quickly!
In between two killer contractions I said, I'm fully dilated aren't I? They baby IS coming, isn't it? She nodded her head but paused - I had to push her to ring my OB as he was back at his rooms 20 minutes away.
When the OB got there, the epi was working on one side but they were still trying to work on it. He walked in, asked why I had the epi when I am meant to be delivering (midwife told him it was at my request), then looked over as he was gowning up and said to me 'your baby has dark hair!'....the top of the head was already visible. They turned off the epi at this point.
In three pushes, our gorgeous miracle was here. My wonderful OB described the whole birth and let the trainee midwife actually deliver our baby. The birth itself was wonderful. I had my husband by my side, my trusted OB and the ability to feel my baby come into this world. When they turned her over and we realised she was a girl, we were ecstatic - and still are.
Nothing can take away the beauty and wonder of the birth or of our gorgeous girl, although I have started feeling very let down by the actions of the midwife. She made me feel like I was over reacting, like I couldn't cope with the birth...she made me feel like a failure. She said that she was doing the first bath and I had to be firm that my hubby would do it - thankfully he did as the water they were planning on using was scalding hot:rolleyes:
Oh, and as I had mentioned to her in the first place, our baby would be here by lunchtime. 11:55am to be exact :D
OBs often get the negative feedback that they hold back a birth from being empowering. I find it quite the opposite. My OB has never been anything less than wonderfully supportive - three big cheers for him:thumbsup: