PrincessJasmine
12-05-2008, 01:25 PM
This story has taken me close to three years to get up the courage to relive the experience. I found my birth experience to be traumatic so this may be a long one…If only I knew then what I know now. To be honest I kept myself in ignorance about the birth process as I found hospitals and the whole idea to be scary. I didn’t read any books etc, so I really had no idea what to expect.
The pregnancy was pretty straight forward; I had the usual tiredness and indigestion but was healthy. Being naïve about the hospital system I chose to do shared care with the hospital and with a private OB that I already happened to be seeing for other problems. This was my first mistake, I really didn’t need to be seeing the doctors at the hospital as well as an OB. It would have been cheaper to just go through the hospital .
Anyway….my last OB appointment was the 13th July 2005 (after 3 days of bladder incontinence), I was happy to be informed that I was already 3m dilated. The car ride home was terrible, I remember having tell mum to pull over so could be violently ill on the side of the road.
That evening while watching the first episode of ‘House’ I started getting mild period type cramps. After timing 3 contractions over the next hour I was pretty certain by the time DP came home at 9:30pm that I was in labour. By 11pm the contractions were about 15 minutes apart, this is when I called to hospital to let them know. I was advised to take some panadol and try to sleep. DP and I were too excited and by then my contractions were getting closer together and more painful. Just before midnight I called the hospital back to say I’m coming in. I remember mum telling me its too early for me to go in, I couldn’t even reply to her as a very painful contraction hit me.
We arrive at the hospital where I’m taking to a room by a midwife who seemed very concerned about whether or not I’d had a show. I’m thinking to myself “what on earth is a show”? I was given a pad and told to go to the toilet. I laboured in the room for around half an hour, just trying to find a comfortable position. DP wasn’t much use, he just sat there being all tired from a hard days work. Finally at around 12:30pm a midwife came in to hook me up to the monitors. She had several goes at inserting the iv drip and left me with a ruptured vein (took months to go back to normal). At this time the pain was getting too much so I naively ordered a shot of Pethadine. My second mistake….after 30 minutes the pethadine still hadn’t kicked in.
The midwife (who I found to be very impersonal and abrupt) then informed me that if I wanted an epidural I would ‘have’ to have one now, as the anesthesiologist was going home shortly. I opted to have the epidural as the pain was just too intense. So by 1:30am I’d had the epidural and was starting to feel better. I remember having to ask what a catheter was for….so naïve of me.
The next hour went pleasantly enough, a new (and nicer) midwife came on. DP was snoring away in the chair next to me. By 3am DP decided he needed to go home for a couple of hours sleep since he had to work the next day. I wasn’t happy about this, but I knew there wasn’t much point in him staying if he’s that tired. The plan was that he would send my mum (who we were living with at the time) to be with me. Around this time I had started throwing up, which was to continue the whole way through my labour.
Every 10 minutes I was heaving my guts up wondering where my mum was. Shortly after 5am Mum finally arrived, I felt better having her there. I was still chatting away happily trying to distract myself from the noise of the monitors and my nausea. Sometime during those couple of hours they told me I was 5cm dilated.
At 7:20am they measured me again (I vaguely remember being told I was 7cm), the midwife went away and came back with the OB on duty who gave me another VE. He then informed me that the umbilical cord was wrapped around DD’s neck and that she was in foetal distress (not surprising the baby was stressed considering I was vomiting for several hours!) so they needed to perfume an emergency c-section.
By this point I’d only been in active labour for 11 hours, I could have gone on longer if it wasn’t for the constant vomiting. I didn’t sense any stress or major concern from the medical staff so I signed the consent forms and was wheeled off to the OR. They tried several medications to make me stop vomiting before one finally worked. Within half an hour the staff was called in to perform the emergency c-section. The nice anesthesiologist from earlier was called back in to top me up.
Meanwhile (I found out weeks later) mum was meant to call DP if anything happened, but just didn’t have time to make the call before they wheeled me down to surgery. DP arrived to be told by the medical staff that I was having an emergency c-section and to basically not expect a live baby! Mum was told a similar story...instinctively though, I knew my baby would be ok. The following may be distressing to some…
They prepped me for surgery and put the curtain in place, I was thankful I wouldn’t have to see what they were doing down there. At 7:55am I remember feeling the pressure of her being removed, and then the waiting to hear her cry. Soon enough I heard that sound that fills every mother with relief. By then my positive outlook and my strength just seemed to crumble. I was shaking uncontrollably and feeling every little pull they made. I don’t know what they were doing (I assume removing the placenta) but it was the worst sensation I have ever felt in my life.
They tried to place her in my arms, but I couldn’t hold her due to the iv in my arm and the shaking. I remember looking at her big eyes and curly hair but not being able to enjoy that first moment due to the shock I was beginning to feel. They stitched me up and I spent 40 minutes in recovery before being wheeled to my room.
As I was getting back to the room I finally saw DP again, who informed me he’d already made all the calls and named our daughter Jasmine Rose. Shortly after I was able to cuddle her for the first time, I remember being in awe of this tiny little person I’d created but wondered why I wasn’t feeling that Johnston and Johnston moment. She was very sleepy and feeding didn’t get off to a very good start…that night the epidural finally wore off. I was in intense pain and begging for medication every 10 minutes (thankfully I had the room to myself that first night). It was the worst night of my entire life! They finally gave me morphine tablets, which I was on for the next two days. It was as if they didn’t believe how much agony I was in, I found some of the midwifes on duty that night to be quite rude.
DD was born on a Friday morning and I returned home on Sunday afternoon. I didn’t sleep the entire time I was in hospital, so that first night home I was out to it. Thankfully we managed to express enough milk for DP to feed her during the night. I struggled to breastfeed and the baby high had worn off by Monday, the blues started to set in. A few months went by and I still didn’t feel ‘normal’, so made the decision to take medication for a few months to get me through this tough time. I didn’t acknowledge it as post natal depression at the time, but I guess it was…After my experience I was unsure of whether or not I even wanted to have more children.
Eventually I put the experience to the back of my mind and DP and I decided to have another. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I joined Bub Hub, OMG I wish I’d found this place sooner. Straight away I began reading other people’s stories and experiences, suddenly I had the realisation that DD’s birth could have been so much more different.
Everyone says the important thing is that the baby was healthy in the end, I agree in part, but I can’t help but feel that without the medical interventions (and naïve choices on my part) I would have been able to have a less traumatic birth experience.
Seeing the Business of Being Born the other night, prompted me to finally face me fears and write this story (I seriously recommend that every woman see this film).
Straight away I decided things are going to be different this time and began searching for an independent midwife so I could have a home water birth. I was told by my GP that I could only have a ‘trial of labour’, this wasn’t good enough for me. So I hired my midwife and read the books, and just informed myself. After much research I wasn’t shocked when the doctor at my hospital booking appointment (for transfer if needed) told me that he doesn’t recommend I attempt a vaginal birth.
I guess the moral of my story is be informed! I know things don’t always go to plan, but a hospital environment can sometimes do more harm than good to a woman’s birth experience.
Thanks Bub Hub for opening my eyes and to the lovely ladies who have inspired me with their homebirthing stories. I can now can face my fears and feel confident that I can have the birth experience I want!
The pregnancy was pretty straight forward; I had the usual tiredness and indigestion but was healthy. Being naïve about the hospital system I chose to do shared care with the hospital and with a private OB that I already happened to be seeing for other problems. This was my first mistake, I really didn’t need to be seeing the doctors at the hospital as well as an OB. It would have been cheaper to just go through the hospital .
Anyway….my last OB appointment was the 13th July 2005 (after 3 days of bladder incontinence), I was happy to be informed that I was already 3m dilated. The car ride home was terrible, I remember having tell mum to pull over so could be violently ill on the side of the road.
That evening while watching the first episode of ‘House’ I started getting mild period type cramps. After timing 3 contractions over the next hour I was pretty certain by the time DP came home at 9:30pm that I was in labour. By 11pm the contractions were about 15 minutes apart, this is when I called to hospital to let them know. I was advised to take some panadol and try to sleep. DP and I were too excited and by then my contractions were getting closer together and more painful. Just before midnight I called the hospital back to say I’m coming in. I remember mum telling me its too early for me to go in, I couldn’t even reply to her as a very painful contraction hit me.
We arrive at the hospital where I’m taking to a room by a midwife who seemed very concerned about whether or not I’d had a show. I’m thinking to myself “what on earth is a show”? I was given a pad and told to go to the toilet. I laboured in the room for around half an hour, just trying to find a comfortable position. DP wasn’t much use, he just sat there being all tired from a hard days work. Finally at around 12:30pm a midwife came in to hook me up to the monitors. She had several goes at inserting the iv drip and left me with a ruptured vein (took months to go back to normal). At this time the pain was getting too much so I naively ordered a shot of Pethadine. My second mistake….after 30 minutes the pethadine still hadn’t kicked in.
The midwife (who I found to be very impersonal and abrupt) then informed me that if I wanted an epidural I would ‘have’ to have one now, as the anesthesiologist was going home shortly. I opted to have the epidural as the pain was just too intense. So by 1:30am I’d had the epidural and was starting to feel better. I remember having to ask what a catheter was for….so naïve of me.
The next hour went pleasantly enough, a new (and nicer) midwife came on. DP was snoring away in the chair next to me. By 3am DP decided he needed to go home for a couple of hours sleep since he had to work the next day. I wasn’t happy about this, but I knew there wasn’t much point in him staying if he’s that tired. The plan was that he would send my mum (who we were living with at the time) to be with me. Around this time I had started throwing up, which was to continue the whole way through my labour.
Every 10 minutes I was heaving my guts up wondering where my mum was. Shortly after 5am Mum finally arrived, I felt better having her there. I was still chatting away happily trying to distract myself from the noise of the monitors and my nausea. Sometime during those couple of hours they told me I was 5cm dilated.
At 7:20am they measured me again (I vaguely remember being told I was 7cm), the midwife went away and came back with the OB on duty who gave me another VE. He then informed me that the umbilical cord was wrapped around DD’s neck and that she was in foetal distress (not surprising the baby was stressed considering I was vomiting for several hours!) so they needed to perfume an emergency c-section.
By this point I’d only been in active labour for 11 hours, I could have gone on longer if it wasn’t for the constant vomiting. I didn’t sense any stress or major concern from the medical staff so I signed the consent forms and was wheeled off to the OR. They tried several medications to make me stop vomiting before one finally worked. Within half an hour the staff was called in to perform the emergency c-section. The nice anesthesiologist from earlier was called back in to top me up.
Meanwhile (I found out weeks later) mum was meant to call DP if anything happened, but just didn’t have time to make the call before they wheeled me down to surgery. DP arrived to be told by the medical staff that I was having an emergency c-section and to basically not expect a live baby! Mum was told a similar story...instinctively though, I knew my baby would be ok. The following may be distressing to some…
They prepped me for surgery and put the curtain in place, I was thankful I wouldn’t have to see what they were doing down there. At 7:55am I remember feeling the pressure of her being removed, and then the waiting to hear her cry. Soon enough I heard that sound that fills every mother with relief. By then my positive outlook and my strength just seemed to crumble. I was shaking uncontrollably and feeling every little pull they made. I don’t know what they were doing (I assume removing the placenta) but it was the worst sensation I have ever felt in my life.
They tried to place her in my arms, but I couldn’t hold her due to the iv in my arm and the shaking. I remember looking at her big eyes and curly hair but not being able to enjoy that first moment due to the shock I was beginning to feel. They stitched me up and I spent 40 minutes in recovery before being wheeled to my room.
As I was getting back to the room I finally saw DP again, who informed me he’d already made all the calls and named our daughter Jasmine Rose. Shortly after I was able to cuddle her for the first time, I remember being in awe of this tiny little person I’d created but wondered why I wasn’t feeling that Johnston and Johnston moment. She was very sleepy and feeding didn’t get off to a very good start…that night the epidural finally wore off. I was in intense pain and begging for medication every 10 minutes (thankfully I had the room to myself that first night). It was the worst night of my entire life! They finally gave me morphine tablets, which I was on for the next two days. It was as if they didn’t believe how much agony I was in, I found some of the midwifes on duty that night to be quite rude.
DD was born on a Friday morning and I returned home on Sunday afternoon. I didn’t sleep the entire time I was in hospital, so that first night home I was out to it. Thankfully we managed to express enough milk for DP to feed her during the night. I struggled to breastfeed and the baby high had worn off by Monday, the blues started to set in. A few months went by and I still didn’t feel ‘normal’, so made the decision to take medication for a few months to get me through this tough time. I didn’t acknowledge it as post natal depression at the time, but I guess it was…After my experience I was unsure of whether or not I even wanted to have more children.
Eventually I put the experience to the back of my mind and DP and I decided to have another. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I joined Bub Hub, OMG I wish I’d found this place sooner. Straight away I began reading other people’s stories and experiences, suddenly I had the realisation that DD’s birth could have been so much more different.
Everyone says the important thing is that the baby was healthy in the end, I agree in part, but I can’t help but feel that without the medical interventions (and naïve choices on my part) I would have been able to have a less traumatic birth experience.
Seeing the Business of Being Born the other night, prompted me to finally face me fears and write this story (I seriously recommend that every woman see this film).
Straight away I decided things are going to be different this time and began searching for an independent midwife so I could have a home water birth. I was told by my GP that I could only have a ‘trial of labour’, this wasn’t good enough for me. So I hired my midwife and read the books, and just informed myself. After much research I wasn’t shocked when the doctor at my hospital booking appointment (for transfer if needed) told me that he doesn’t recommend I attempt a vaginal birth.
I guess the moral of my story is be informed! I know things don’t always go to plan, but a hospital environment can sometimes do more harm than good to a woman’s birth experience.
Thanks Bub Hub for opening my eyes and to the lovely ladies who have inspired me with their homebirthing stories. I can now can face my fears and feel confident that I can have the birth experience I want!