My girlfriend wants to terminate

[letsbepositive]

Hi all,

My best friend recently split up with her long time partner. A couple of weeks after she asked him to move out she found out she was pregnant. She is now about 7-8 weeks. He wants to save the relationship but said some hurtful things so she doesn't know if he loves her etc. etc. Now that she's pregnant she's even more insecure that he is hanging around for the wrong reasons - ie just because there's a baby not because he wants to be there.

When they had made the decision to go off the pill they weren't sure if they could get pregnant because she has endo. One of her comments to me when they first split up was that she gave up her child bearing years for him. (That was before she found out she was pregnant).

All she can think about now is that she doesn't want to go through with the pregnancy because their relationship is in trouble. She doesn't have any kids and honestly I believe this may be her only chance to be a mum as she is 37 now. I told her my advice is going to be biased towards swaying her to keeping the baby given that we have one bubba and have had difficulty ttc # 2 as well as a miscarriage not so long ago.

I don't know how I can help her but would appreciate hearing from anyone who might be able to offer some advice.

[SorenLorensen]

i would strongly suggest she and her ex go see a councilor, this is something they are going to need to talk about and professional help would be best.

:hugs: you are such a kind friend for wanting to help her, its great that you ave been honest with her about you being a little bias and as long as you stay honest but still be there as her friend and want to help her your a great person for her to have in her life at the moment.

[A Party of Five]

i would strongly suggest she and her ex go see a councilor, this is something they are going to need to talk about and professional help would be best.

I agree with SorenLorensen about getting them to go and see a councilor.

Big hugs to your friend she is very luck to have a friend like you :hugs:

[SixtiesChild]

I think you are right, that she may never have another chance and that would be heartbreaking for her. It is possible that she might throw away a treasure she had longed for.
She does sound confused and your words of wisdom to your friend may be the only wise words she ever gets from someone who cares about her & the baby she's carrying.
Have you reminded her of what she said about those childbearing years?

If I was in your friends position, I would need a friend like you. I would want your opinion even if it is a little biased- The decision would still be mine.
Also there can be terrible physical & psychological side effects to abortion, such as adhesions and deep remorse that are never spoken of that are discovered only later on as a direct cause of infertility.
The councilling is a good idea too but if she chooses not to have any then that leaves her deciding from the information that people who care about her can provide her with. :)

[letsbepositive]

I just wanted to say thank you ladies for your replies to my query. My girlfriend and her partner worked things out and have decided to continue with the pregnancy.

[V8]

I just wanted to say thank you ladies for your replies to my query. My girlfriend and her partner worked things out and have decided to continue with the pregnancy.

That's great news that they have worked it out, i hope it all goes well for them.