The birds and bees talk

[3boys1girl]

Hi Guys
I have an 11 year old son who im wondering should I give him the birds and bees talk.
What is a good age and how do I do it??
I am catholic and lived a very sheltered life! When I asked my parents what sex was their answer was " Its a male or female or its how you make a baby. NOW GO TO SLEEP":banghead:
That was it!!! I had to find out off friends and cosmo magazine!
I have looked at the where do I come from books but I dont know if he will just sit there and laugh at all the pics.
Can you please give me some hints on what to do:confused:
Thanks guys:o

[moonblossom]

Oh gosh what a difficult one. Umm I've always been upfront and talked about sex, relationships and the human body no matter what age they were, they are all very confident about themselves so i've never really had to sit them down for the birds and bee's story LOL

I know a lot of my friends have bought "Where did I come from" books etc, and helped them a lot.

sorry not much help :S

[the_queen]

There's always that "The Human Body" series, it's on DVD I think, but it was on TV recently. It's very scientific, but easily understandable. There's one episode on conception, pregnancy and birth; one on puberty; one on old age and death; I'm sure there's others but pregnant brain can't think too good right now:rolleyes: ....

[moonblossom]

DOH, forgot about the "Human Body" series, brilliant suggestion Queeney :yelclap:

[Seekrit]

Growing up we had a "Where Did I Come From" video & book.. consequently I was shocked (and mildly disappointed) to find out the sex didn't take all night, like the video made me think. :p :D

We also had "What's Happening To Me."

It was simple enough for mum to whack those on the telly whenever we asked. :)

*still thinks about the dancing egg and sperm...*

[tanni_83]

do you think by now he's pretty much figured out what sex is...its ot as consealed as it used to be, but in saying that he might know the term sex but not understand exactly how a baby is concieved....besides the penis and vagina parts...

my brother is 11 and when i was pregnant with Elise i was laying on his bed talking to him and he goes to me "will the baby come out of there" and pointed in the area of my vagina....and i said "yes they usually do" and he goes 'OH YUCK' and walked away lol

kids....u just dont know sometimes

good luck... sorry that i didnt have any proper advice :fingerscrossed:

tanni

[StormAngel]

Oh, i'm so dreading the talk too, although my 12.5 yr old DS has the general idea i think :rolleyes:

[SassyMummy]

I'm only 20...and my daughter is like...8.5months...so I've got a while before we have "the talk." That said, I still think about how it will be.

I was talking about it to my mother (in the supermarket...lol), and told her I'd probably do it about 11 because girls are developing so young thee days. She laughed and said to me, "You got pubic hair at 9." I was shocked - I never remembered when that happened to me - I just remembered getting my period at 11.

I now think I'll have to talk about it before she's 9 - which is really quite daunting. How young will I have to do it? 6? I think I'll do it at 8...which IMO is still too young, but it'll have to be done just in case.

I think if you tell a younger child about sex and all of that, it should be very simplistic. And, if I were you, I wouldn't use the "Where Did I Come From?" or "What's happening to me" books...because their cartoon images are just funny and quite awkward for children to be looking at in front of their parents - at least that's the way I felt.

I know that when I went through puberty, I was SO embarrassed because I was so young. I didn't want anyone to know...and I DIDN'T want my parents to talk about it too much. I think a lot of sex-ed should be based on questions asked by the child.

I'd still get a book that'll answer questions though - hopefully not one with that many pictures of cartoon people having sex. I always liked the "diagrams" of puberty at certain ages - but then, I never looked like the girls in my age-range...I always looked more developed which upset me.

I'm rambling now...

Good luck!

[Mister Noodle]

I got clued in at about 7, which was good.

Get in before it becomes really relevant; far better to have it floating around in the background, rather than having to hit puberty not understanding what's going on.

My dad's a GP, so it was a bit, um, clinical, though. I had some decidely silly imagery from the way he phrased it all - but I got there in the end.

If I were you, I would suggest you get down to details as soon as humanly possible. I remember being 11, and believe me, that's a bad time to not know what the deal is.

[3boys1girl]

Thanks for your views guys. I will consider the where did I come from books. I saw another book aimed for kids where its showed a diagram of a penis in a vagina! I thought It was way to graphic!
Im sure he knows the basics that every kid knows from school, thats why I want to tell him the facts before other kids do

[Mister Noodle]

Hang on.

You want your child to know about sex, but a diagram of a penis in a vagina is 'too graphic'?

Remind me again... why are we doing this, exactly?

It took me altogether far too long to really get the idea of how everything was supposed to work. Pictures would have *really* helped.

[Seekrit]

I agree with Cherie tho' Noodle.

There are some things that don't need to be SEEN right away. I mean, the talk and the imagination was all needed for me! (and the cartoons of people hugging under the doona)

Just my thoughts. :)

[clucky]

whilst reading this thread i am also reading another on another site, and it is about a 10 year old that is pregnant:eek: , (in australia too) a 14yr old boy got her preg. so i guess that girl didn't get proper sex ed?

[KarniF00l]

:eek: a 10yo ???

i know this might sound really dumb, but does anyone know the actual birds and the bee's story ??? if so, can someone please tell it :p

[Mister Noodle]

It was the Victorian concept of sex education. The idea was that you make a few handwaving references to bees pollinating flowers, and birds laying eggs, and let them infer the rest....

The name just got co-opted as a cutesy reference for the real thing.

[KarniF00l]

thanx Mr Noodle :hugs:

sorry i've always wondered how that story went.. at first i was like.. how the hell does a bird make a bee pregnant or vice versa :rolleyes: :laughing:

thanx for that !!!! :yelclap:

[MissSparkle]

My mum gave me the "Where did I come from" and "My body" book when I was about 10 (I developed quickly with DDcup boobs at 12!!) and said if theres anything I want to talk about to ask. I found that concept way to embarassing!

In Year 6 at school we watched Puberty Blues (classic movie! hehehe!) and watched a birthing video too!! Kids find out so much from others that I think no matter what age u talk to them, they already have a general idea.

[3boys1girl]

Hang on.

You want your child to know about sex, but a diagram of a penis in a vagina is 'too graphic'?

Remind me again... why are we doing this, exactly?

It took me altogether far too long to really get the idea of how everything was supposed to work. Pictures would have *really* helped.

I think somethings should wait until they discover it themselves
I think I will get the where did i come from book, its not as graphic

[zactyl]

We had "Where Did I Come From?" and used it as inspiration when playing "Mummies and Daddies" with a kindergarten playmate. :rolleyes:
Reread it, and then decide if it's not graphic, it was banned in some places due to complaints about it being a 'How-to' guide to sex. :laughing:

[meme]

The way i have handled this is to adress her questions at any age with age appropriate, honest answers. my dd1 is 9 and i think she has a pretty good idea of the biology of it. her school curriculam also covers it quite well.
she has some books that she is free to look at and read that i approve of.

i am more concerned with teaching the 'morality' side of things. in my own experience my parents had 'educated' me about sex and birth control but not enough about what makes a good relationship, how to make good choices and things like that.

i don't know exactly how to express that so i hope you understand.:o

[kymmy]

I think from an early age you need to build a foundation.
My children know the basics at their level of understanding.
I was talking to my 6yo about cats and dogs,
she thinks cats are boys and dogs are girls
i had to tell her you need both sexes to make a baby

i am not sure how to sit down and give "the talk"
though this incident made me think about getting a book:idea:

[Hokey Pokey]

We are always upfront with our girls... One thing I want is for our girls to know that they can come to us about this subject without feeling embarrassed. Olivia came out the other day and asked if me and Daddy have sex :eek: LOL while we are open we weren't quite expecting that from a 7 y/o hehe so I just asked her did she even know what that means. She replied with YES! it is when a man and a lady kiss naked in bed. So I left it at that and said yes lol we do that :p