View Full Version : whats in a look???
how imported should looks be??? iam over weight and on a scale 1/10 i rate myself about a 2,, now i know some guys must like the way i look ive had far few bf,,, however in the last week i have had 2 people tell me im ugly and just then on my space i got a message from someone i dont even know a felmale telling me im a fattie:( ,,, i only talk on my space to my cousin in qld so its not like im on there to try to pick up,,, and the other day at big w i over heard a girl say to her bf oh look how beauitful that baby is [tyler] her dad must be good looking cause her mum is not,,,, it broke my heart why do people feel the need to be so rude and mean:confused: i feel that i am a pretty nice person and i have a good heart i may not be very beauitful but who has the right to judge how beauitful or not iam??? about 5 yrs ago i lost alot of weight 13kilo,, i have put it all back on and more now:rolleyes: but i still felt ugly and was not any happer... its easy for people to say dont care what other people think and i should feel beauitful,,, i take every thing to heart and i dont know how to feel beauitful or how to love myself,,, how do i teach tyler to love herself and have repect for herself if me her MUM can't do the same......
sorry about the long vent:ecomcity:
You should teach your little angel that beauty is only skin deep. I have always thought of myself as not good looking but then i met my husband and he tells me all the time that im beautiful. I think people judge themselves to harshly, Most people see what they want to see. It would be a horrible world if everyone had the same opinion and liked everything the same. Just trust in yourself and try not to listen to what mean people have to say :shame: (they are just a waste of space) I know that its easier said then done. It took me a while to start feeling good about myself aswell. I now just live for my family. Take care beautiful one :hugs:
:hugs: I'm sorry you had to overhear other peoples ugliness.. you know what it is? it's their problem. Sometimes people say things like this to make themselves feel better, but all it does is reveal their ugly side.
To some people looks are extremely important. But no-one is loved by everyone. We all, no matter how beautiful, statuesque, rich, smart we (think we) are, there will be someone who doesn't think we are beautiful/statuesque/rich/ smart at all and they will be ready with the snide remarks and the sideways glances.
It sounds like you had a glut of comments all at once... which chips away at our confidence before we can recover from the last one, are these people really important? Probably not, what do the people who *are* important think?
I'll bet your gorgeous (takes after her mum;) ) daughter thinks that you are the best person ever, beautiful, kind and loving.
Oh I just had to add this, which might answer your questions about why people are like this... :laughing:
(I know I did the whole 'don't care about what other people think' thing, sorry, I'm just hoping to make you feel a little better.)
You should teach your little angel that beauty is only skin deep
It's what is inside that counts. I was just thinking this as I was reading oh it is soooo true. :hugs: Cheer up we are all beautiful in our own unique ways even if we don't think so. ;)
thank you very much its just hard to feel good when tyler is not here [she is at mum & dads] but sometimes i still get sad, lonely and haveing her with me makes no different,,, and she is the most amazing thing that has ever happen to me you think that should be enuff
Beauty is only what it is its the heart that makes the person.
When it comes to your heart Tam you are one of the most beautiful people ive ever come across. :hugs:
I guess a thick skin is also needed in this world people are harsh whether they mean to be or not what matters is that you know your a good person so try to remember this. :hugs:
You know you can pm me anytime ok :hugs:
Oh & im going to paste a great story in beauty & health that you might like to read !
thanks ally for putting a smile on my face,,, :hugs: im pm you now:)
I'm so sorry to hear your down at the moment...I know its hard but try not to stress about it...the important people (family and friend) know exactly how beautiful you are so the rest can go drown in there own insecurities ..cos thats the only reason there being rude/mean to you!
Personally and i'm not trying to sound up myself..but I was the most popular at my school...and it TOTALLY suxed...girls were always jealous calling names like **** (meanwhile I was like the last virgin left!..I even got bashed cos apparently 'too many guys liked me!':eek: ) and you nva know if guys really like u for u or just cos of 'who u r, what u look like'. I was bulmic for ages and know one knew...then for a while after school I was depressed and went to the opposite side of the scales (i went from 49/50kg to 70somethin!!) anyway to be honest there is a MASSIVE difference to how people treat you when your bigger....people were always rude to me yet when I was skinny and pretty people couldnt go out of there way enough for me! (while still being catty behind my back)
anyway just letting you know it aint all that if your skinny and pretty....just try and be happy with who you r inside people are always going to be mean rude but its only cos of there own jealousy/insecurities...but just remember the grass isnt always greener on the other side!..the most important thing is your happy with yourself...and if your not... DO something about it...anything is possible...lol trust me!:)
lol hope that all makes sense!?
oh darling please take this hug :hugs: from me, and just remember that people who treat others so badly like that are just bloody bullies and are missing something in their own sad little lifes!!!
please dont even let idiots like that get you down, as im sure you are the best mummy in the world, and your child will love you regardless and she will grow up fine, please dont let it stress you anymore!!!:kiss:
Years ago when I decided to be an extra on the telly, I went to a casting agency and they described me as an "Attractive Neutral".
I take this to mean I am attractive but not in a way that would draw too much attention. And that suits me just fine.
I wouldn't say I was ugly, but then, I am in my thirties, and women in their thirties tend not to give a sh*t so much about what other people think anymore (its wonderful!). But I did grow up as an "attractive neutral" (LOL) in a family of "beauties" and my cousins etc are among my best friends so we would always be out together.
My cousins always got a LOT of attention and were constantly being told how beautiful they were. I used to get very down about it, being a vulnerable teenager at the time.
But during those years I learnt something important, and I will teach this to my daughter if I should ever have one.
Beautiful gets NOTHING that cute doesn't.
That's the honest truth.
And cuteness has got nothing to do with how you look. Honestly it doesn't. Its all about how you carry yourself, how cheeky you are, how friendly you are and how you listen and care about what other people say.
You can only be your real self, so make that self the very best side of you. You can't fake it. There is only one you and I bet she is a bl**dy cutie!!
I know I am!! :laughing:
Do you know what? All the people in my life who I truly love, respect and care for and who feel the same way about me...........they are not especially gorgeous(well, except for ds!! he is, of course, the most beautiful thing you ever saw!!),they are just normal, everyday, average looking people. But, to me they are all STUNNING!! Once you get to know someone, the way they look just fades into insignificance - you see the person that they are inside. I met this guy once who was just hot, hot, hot!! By the time we parted ways (we were just friends) I couldn't see for the life of me why I ever thought he was so good looking - his ugly personality really shone through:thumbsdown:
thank you every one,, i feel a bit better now,,, and i get to see my beauitful little angel soon i cant wait till she is home:smiliedance:
i really have to learn not to take to heart what other people say about me,,, in some ways i think iam very strong but in other ways i feel so weak and ussless but i guess every one feels that way some time or other
God I really hate people sometimes. The ones that really get me are the people that are overweight themselvs, but they have the nerve to say that you're a whale! (sorry, personal vent there :mad: ).
It's always difficult to reassure someone without saying "it doesn't matter what other people think". I know I get sick of hearing it. But the way I figure is it does matter what other people think, as long as the people talking are the ones you care about.
I hope you feel better about yourself. And if you're ever feeling down, just look at the beautiful creature you helped create. She's made from you, so that's got to say something about the way you look, right? :D
Gosh people can be so rude!!
I have a theory that people only ever put other people down if they have a low self esteem or are jealous of something that person has.
A truly confident person has no need to put anyone down... So there must be something about you they were jealous about... Still no excuse - How Rude!
Beauty is in our heart, that is the only true beauty. looks fade, we all age, and even what is "socially" considered to be good looking changes constantly.
Your daughter is gorgeous, And you are too, you cannot fake the kind of genuine personality that shines through on your posts
As a few ladies on here have already stated, those cruel insensitive people that make hurtful comments, they themselves are the ones lacking beauty. to look down on another is one of the ugliest trait one can show, no matter what they look like on the outside or how much they weigh, when they show people maliciousness in their hearts, they look ugly.
I'm quite petite, always have been, and used to be ridiculed daily for being short, accused of being anorexic, a constant barrage of comments about the size of my breasts nothing is sacred to cruel people. It used to get me really down, i didnt even want to go outside for a long time.
But i do realise now that those people are the ones who are insecure, and unhappy with themselves, that it was the only way those pathetic people could feel better about themselves.
When you look at your daughter, youll see your beauty reflected in her!
Take Care Tylers mum!
reading every ones kind words makes me relize that there is kind/caring and warm hearted people out there,, them kind of people are who i want not only around me but tyler aswell,, i feel alot better now:)
You know what? S**** them.
You have a thousand beautiful qualities about yourself that their prejudice and ignorance will prevent them the honour of discovering. You have fantastic memories, and achievements, love, aspirations, you're a Mama who's journey from conception to parenthood has changed and enriched your life. You are obviously sensitive and feel deeply... which is the BEST kind of person for soaking up life. Constantly aware of the world around you, and reflecting on it, you will learn and daydream more in life than they ever could. So YOU are the one benefitting.
Closed, spiteful, judgemental minds never get far in life. Their own insecurities and bitterness chews them up, and they end up becoming old, lonely, sour people who have no love in their lives and no meaningful relationships.
Be confident in yourself! Who you are physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. You're an amazing woman who can do anything she puts her mind to. Don't allow ridiculous comments from strangers to even enter your field of thought- they don't deserve that justice! Let them slide off you like water from a duck's back. You're too fantabulous to put up with such scummy ****. I find the people who ***** and make petty insults, are the ones who don't value themselves very highly, therefore they need to put down others to make themselves feel better. Pretty pathetic, isn't it!
I have a poem here which I adore, and I hoep you like it to. It's about being proud to be a sensual, sexy, confident, intelligent woman. It's about having a unique charisma and charm! If you ask me, vuluptuous and curvaceous is MUCH more attractive than stick thin and barbie doll like. Who wants Miss Plastic Fantastic? Bleugh, yuck! You're a REAL woman, a PHENOMENAL woman... remember that! And any time you need a reminder, read this poem again.
Go forth with confidence, Goddess! Don't give anyone the satisfaction of wavering it.
by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
that was a very beauitful poem:hugs:
In the end, stereotypical beauty doesn't really get you anywhere. Sure, there are plenty of "gorgeous" famous people...but there are also plenty of gorgeous non-famous people. There are also PLENTY of not-so-attractive actors and actresses out there - and they are the ones that can generally ACT.
If people think you're fat or ugly or whatever...so what?
If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that personality is what makes someone seems more or less attractive anyway. From afar, you might have a crush on some "hot" guy...but once you meet him and his pig-headed abnoxious attitude is revealed, he suddenly seems pretty ugly...right? (Not suggesting all good-looking people are b*stards...but you get my drift...).
I'd LOVE to be beautiful...but I often wonder why I want it. My dp loves me now...my family and friends love me now...anyone who doesn't like me just because I'm not hot can get *****ed...they're not worth knowing.
Of course, I understand that it still CAN hurt when people say things, but those that make nasty comments such as those may think they look beautiful...but they're certainly not beautiful people.
And as the age old saying goes... "Beauty fades with age." :thumbsup:
BIG :hugs: Tylers mum! In my experience,ppl b**** about or judge others in order to make themselves feel better:shame: - which just goes 2 show they must have a few insecurities of their own if they feel the need 2 do that!
Just wanted to give you heaps of :hugs: when reading your post. It touches me in so many ways. I am very very thin skinned and have appalling self esteem regarding my looks. I am overweight by about 25kgs and have other issues that I am not emotionally able to put down here and reading the horrible encounters you have had over the last little while almost brought me to tears. I can't believe people can be so so cruel when I hear stuff like that. I will tell you like so many others that have already responded to you that those creeps opinions are worth nothing and you should push them out of your thoughts asap. I am sure those who love you will tell what a beautiful, intelligent, funny and kind person you are to them - just make sure you hear them. :hugs: :hugs:
its funny to think that my family and my friends think that iam so strong and could handle anything that comes my way:confused: [there are a few that know the real me] yet i have low self esteem, depressed, anxious and half the time just so sad,,, this is not the frist time hearing someone say something like that to me and problemly not the last,, do people not relize or just dont care what stuff like that can do to a person:mad: ...... my mum always told me if i have nothing nice to say then dont say nothing at all
i live in the past to much and i can not let go of my issues,,, and things like this never helps the situation all i want out of life is to be happy and to be the best mummy i can be and i want tyler to be proud that i'm her mum,, i wish it was not so hard to just let go and not care so much what people think.... one day maybe
thanks again every one for your kind replys and hugs:hugs:
Dear Tylers Mum,
Since being on maternity leave i have become addicted to the Tyra Banks Show on Fox 8 and while watching her show the other day about gastro bypass and a celebrity (cant remember her name) talked about how she use to feel ugly when she had a much fuller figure and she said that those people that taunt and call people with much fuller figures ugly and other cruel names that they are the ugly ones.
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