Having to go back to work

[Ange&Seth]

Hi Guys

Well we're finally having to bite the bullet and decide that it's time for me to go back to work. With all the household expenses, it's just not possible for us to stay afloat much longer. I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem? I'm sure you have but my main concern is DS. He's nearly 6 months and just starting all the 'firsts' and I really don't want to miss anything with his development.

I guess I'm looking for some of your suggestions on how you dealt with going back to work and putting your bub/s in daycare? At this point, I just don't know how I'll get over it.

[maydr]

hi ange, its nice you mentioned this. we're on the same situation and would love to hear any suggestion too.

[Smurfette]

I'm actually starting day care in my home so I get the best of both worlds. Not sure how I would cope being away from Liv. I can understand how you feel:hugs:

[rynosmum]

Hi Ange,

I went back to work when DS was not yet 5 months. I won't lie - emotionally it is hard, really hard. But, it does get better !

You will still be your baby's Mum and no matter what you are told, your bub will always know you as Mum and no-one else will come close to that bond.

Be aware that when they first go to daycare, they pickup everything. For the first month I would have had about a week off due to things he picked up and then for the next 6 months it seemed like he and I always had a cold or similar.

My DS is now 22 months and a loving, generous boy who always says 'please' and 'excuse me' (too cute), has extra special smiles and cuddles for Mummy and is a happy laughing little boy. He goes to daycare 3 days per week and my MIL looks after him in our home 2 days per week.

I'll never stop missing him during the day but knowing that he is a well rounded individual with many people to love and play with makes it all worthwhile.

Best of luck !:D

[Ange&Seth]

Katrina - thankyou so much for your post! I feel a little better about the whole thing now. Not a whole lot, but a little bit :)


I just really wish that it was easier to live on one income - how did our parents do it?

[JnA]

I was told (though don't know how true it is) that if you child does a 'first' while at daycarem the carers don't tell you, so you don't feel like you missed it.


That sounds good in principle.




how did our parents do it?

Mine didn't. Both my parents worked.. but in general it was probably done because in general today we are bigger consumers than our parents were, which makes living more expensive. (at a guess)

[Faithcomesinnumbers]

Ange&Seth I am sorry you had to be put in this situation. :hugs: I work part time. Although DD couldn't get into daycare until she was 13 months old and that was early for most of the ones around where we lived at the time. It's true what rynosmum said about it getting better even though she was older. I didn't want to go back to work I was gonna have another baby straight after her then at 6 months, 18 months and now the topic is rearing it's head again but I am enjoying putting my contribution financially into this household and the fact that I getting out and talking to people of all walks of life including some that don't have babies. I also like that I am learning new things and my skills are still keeping current. I hope this makes it a little bit better.

[Briswegian]

Gosh! reading your posts I had a flashback to when I had to leave my son and the absolute ache of how hard it is!

My son was in day care part time from 4 months and still is at 2 and a half. I was bitterly sad and then angry at the world because I had to go to work. However, in the end it was good for me to be at work and mixing with adults because I was back doing what I studied so long to do and everyone at work was supportive.

As going home time neared I'd get anxious to get my boy and by the time I pulled into the car park I'd sprint up the stairs to give him a cuddle. He has never had a problem separating and is a secure child who enjoys the socialisation of day care (he's always been extra active). The carers at his centre put up a sheet of what the children did during the day and what aspects of development these activities enhance. From what I can tell from the literature, day care is ok for kids so long as it is good quality and the child makes an attachment to the carer (don't worry, you'll still be number one!). Also, I remember reading years ago that parents should always tell their child that they are going so they don't think that mum just disappears and you should be calm and spend a few minutes when you arrive and leave, so that the child learns that day care is a safe place to be, not somewhere to be rescued from.

My advice is to be involved in your childs centre. I have always known all the kids in his class and some of their parents and I always spend time talking to the carers and the director so they know us really really well. My second child was born five weeks ago and the carers were so nurturing to my oldest child. They talked with him about the baby and they would make up stories about our family and how special it is to be a big brother. Day care has provided my eldest with some routine and stability while we all get used to our new addition and provides me with a break to sleep and care for bub while i'm on maternity leave.

It was really very hard to leave him, especially for the first couple of weeks but all in all we have all coped and he is a happy healthy secure little boy.

Hope this helps some.

[kmac77]

Hi Ange - We had the same situation, my DS first started going to child care when he was about 7 months and my DD was about 5 months. It is very daunting but you learn to cope. I made the decision to only go back part time and this works really well for us. You kinda get the best of both worlds. I was also worried about missing the first of things but I found we didn't any at all. I am pretty involved with our child care centre as well. If they have functions on during the day I always make the effort to go to them and I take the time when I drop them off and pick them up to chat we the carers about their day etc.

It also helps when you have a child care centre that has incredible staff. My DS is nearly 3 and he gets so much out of the few days he is at child care - he really enjoys it. Even my DD gets a bit excited when she sees her carers.

I hope this makes you feel a bit better about.