Should DS be rewarded for this? HELP PLEASE

[brookeme]

Hi there, I really need opinions on this:
DH Grandad fainted at his home on thurs last week and DH drove him to doc and offered for him to stay here with us, he accepted....
We spoke to DS about it and asked if he would kindly give his room to his great grandfather for a few days and sleep foot to foot in his sisters bed, he was happy to at first but last night he got a little overwhelmed and expressed how he would love to have his own bed back, he was really sobbing, but I felt if I asked Great Grandad to swap into DD bed that he might feel as though he is putting us out.
He is 82 (but very good for his age) and I dont have the heart to shift him.
Sooooo.... Should I offer a reward to DS for giving up his bed, or should he just be co-operative and rewarded by the fact he did the right thing for his Great Grandad???????:confused:
I feel for DS cos I am a homebody too and like my privacy, Its hard for all of us.
What do you reckon?

[forbetoel]

Honestly...No I wouldn't reward him. I think you are in a situation and position where you can really teach your son an important lesson in manners and just plain old genorousity. The only reward I would be giving, is verbal praise, saying how proud you are that he done something so kind for his grandad, and letting him know what a lovely little boy he is.

[jayisa02]

yes i would reward him for giving up his bed. I have offered rewards to my 5yo DS for doing things for others. Not all the time but this sounds like a special situation. :) COuld you perhaps put a mattress on the floor for DS so he has his own space to sleep?

[BreakfastatTiffanys]

Honestly...No I wouldn't reward him. I think you are in a situation and position where you can really teach your son an important lesson in manners and just plain old genorousity. The only reward I would be giving, is verbal praise, saying how proud you are that he done something so kind for his grandad, and letting him know what a lovely little boy he is.

I agree with 4boys2love, keep praising him for his generosity. It is only a few days.:flowerz:

[Benji]

I also agree with 4boys2love. He did do a really lovely thing for his grandfather, so I guess loads of thank you's and you did very well would be good.

My lil brother was one of those kids who wouldn't do anything for anyone as a child unless he had some sort of "reward" for it (meaning a toy, lolly or something) and he is exactly the same now that he's a grown man :rolleyes:

[Seekrit]

Honestly...No I wouldn't reward him. I think you are in a situation and position where you can really teach your son an important lesson in manners and just plain old genorousity. The only reward I would be giving, is verbal praise, saying how proud you are that he done something so kind for his grandad, and letting him know what a lovely little boy he is.
You are so very wise :)

[forbetoel]

You are so very wise :)


:o...and you are very kind.:)

[Chickadee]

I agree with the verbal praise being the most important. But... it might also be nice for him to receive a thank you present from his greatgrandad when he moves back out. Something small and inexpensive, but a token of thanks for sharing his room. Receiving it from his great grandad that way seems less like a reward or bribe, than having it from you during the visit itself.

[tootiredtosleep]

I'd reward him with a certificate, something that you can print up on a piece of paper and put in a cheap frame or just on the fridge, something like "Kind Grandson Award" or similar. You could probably even find a template on the net somewhere. It wouldn't cost anything, but is something for him to keep and be proud of.

[ziggie]

Another who agrees with 4B2L here :yes:.

[rynosmum]

I agree with the verbal praise being the most important. But... it might also be nice for him to receive a thank you present from his greatgrandad when he moves back out.

I like this idea too. I think that verbal praise is the absolute must but honestly, he's a kid and it would have been a really big deal for him to do what he did.

So I agree with Chickadee, something unexpected from his grandad or even just taking him out to do something special - maybe a trip to the park, one on one time and take him to lunch - something that makes him feel special:yes:

[brookeme]

Thanks for all the replies.. I have been rushed off my feet with visitors and its the first time Ive been really unsure of whats right.
I dont want him to get used to rewards at all, he is spoiled enough, this has really put things into perspective a bit more.4btl thanks.
The kind Great Grandson award is a good idea too! Thanks tootiredtosleep!
He has gone home today and feeling well so as bad as it sounds I am pleased to have my house back just for ourselves... Im so mean.
We were considering building on or just inviting him to live here, but after the last 4 days Ive changed my mind. Especially after he gave me a lecture on grocery shopping and buying cheaper milk :hissy:
I mean what would I know about that!!!!

[Lastcenturymum]

Thanks is enough. It's great for children to learn to be flexible and generous and helpful and I don't think 'things' should be given for what should be a trait you'd want to encourage.

Bit like my theory on pocket money. It shouldn't be given for jobs. Kids should have jobs they do as part of a family. Pocket money should be a separate thing, otherwise they try to deal and will only want to do tasks if they get paid.

Hope Grandad gets well soon

[onemummmy]

I agree with the verbal praise being the most important. But... it might also be nice for him to receive a thank you present from his greatgrandad when he moves back out. Something small and inexpensive, but a token of thanks for sharing his room. Receiving it from his great grandad that way seems less like a reward or bribe, than having it from you during the visit itself.

:iagree:

[Mischief]

I agree with the verbal praise being the most important. But... it might also be nice for him to receive a thank you present from his greatgrandad when he moves back out. Something small and inexpensive, but a token of thanks for sharing his room. Receiving it from his great grandad that way seems less like a reward or bribe, than having it from you during the visit itself.
Couldnt agree more!

I can remember having to bunk in mum and dads room when guests came to stay as a kid. I HATED IT!

Praise him heaps, and a small gift for being such a GOOD BOY wouldnt go astray... maybe it could be a family trip out, with him (and DD, since she's top and tailing too) being the stars! :)

[delirium]

Honestly...No I wouldn't reward him. I think you are in a situation and position where you can really teach your son an important lesson in manners and just plain old genorousity. The only reward I would be giving, is verbal praise, saying how proud you are that he done something so kind for his grandad, and letting him know what a lovely little boy he is.

:iagree: If you did decide to reward him, maybe it could be a non-tangible/material item like allowing him to have a friend sleep over etc?

[Cordelia]

I reckon that it's important for him to get a reward out of the nice fuzzy feeling he gets from doing something nice for someone. these days, people only do nice things if there's something in it for them. I think it's nice if a kid was too value the lovely thing he was doing purely because he was helping someone else.

Can I use the word "nice" anymore!!

[*Chels*]

I reckon that it's important for him to get a reward out of the nice fuzzy feeling he gets from doing something nice for someone. these days, people only do nice things if there's something in it for them. I think it's nice if a kid was too value the lovely thing he was doing purely because he was helping someone else.

Can I use the word "nice" anymore!!

Totally agree.I am a big believer in karma,what goes around comes around:goodvibes: