What to do, What to do?

[sharvs]

As some of you already know, my DF is in the Army. We have a 3 month old son. DF is pretty confident he will be going to Afganistan later this year, possibly for 6 months.

We were posted to Brisbane at the beginning of the year, all my family is in Adelaide. I would love to move back there whilst he is away but I'm not sure if it will be possible. My parents only have a small house & as much as they wouldnt mind, i dont think i could impose on them with a baby. I also have a cat and a dog that I couldn't take with me.

There is also the matter of our house here. We have a beautiful DHA house that we dont want to lose. If I move back to Adelaide, we either have to keep paying rent here or surrender the house and take what is available when we return. I guess i could find a rental in Adelaide for DS and I but then we have to move furniture too. I know DHA do pay for some of this but I'm unsure as to what.

It will be an extreamly long & hard 6 months whilst he is away but i dont know if the move back to Adelaide is viable. Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

[Tiggerbaby]

Dear Sharon,

I know what you are going through and can say that with great support from your mother group and friends in Brisbane that you will be okay and that while moving is an option that is a lot to cope with a young baby and pets. My DH is away constantly and I have found that staying in a familiar place has made it somewhat easier to cope. Family support is fantastic but as you say it would be very hard for your family.

I found the DCO family officers really good and the one in Brisbane at the Mitchelton office was quite good. Getting involved in the community with your baby might help pass the time whilst your DH is away might the time pass that much more quickly.

Anyway i hope that this helps, and that this finds you well.

[amandajane]

Sharon, I agree with Leigh. Use this time to build some friendships whether they are with other defence wives or not, it really is the best way to cope.
I have also heard that DCO are pretty good in Brisbane.

[Jinglebells]

hi sharon, my DH went away to afghanistan when our DS was only 8 weeks old, he started his PDT when DS was a week old, so basically I we were on our own from then for 8mths, I stayed where DH was based which was the best decision I made, DH wanted me to go up north and stay with his family but I didn't want to impose on them with such a young baby, I met a whole lot of new people that I wouldn't have met if we had moved, I found meeting others that were in the same situation was good, and we could all suport each other. maybe if you want to be close to family you could go there for a couple of holildays at a couple of weeks at a time, it would make the 6mths seam to go faster.

[MilkOnTap]

Hey Sharvs - such a tough decision to make! I have just gone through the same decision, minus a bub. Made it a lot easier... My hubby is in the gulf for 6 months (well thats what he is SCHEDULED to be there for) and I decided to move from our base in Sydney to my family in VIC for the period while he is gone. A move made very simple by getting a girlfriend to housesit our unit for a few months and a spare room at a family friends place. BUT, like I said - I dont have kids yet... we're still trying for those blessings!

However, if I had children I probably would have stayed in Sydney. I would have made a greater effort to use DCO and DFA services and also made myself familiar with local mothers groups and playgroups.

Best wishes making this decision :hugs: