Thinking of becoming a surrogate.

[Smurfette]

My brother and his wife have had several attempts at IVF. They are trying one more time than I'm not sure what they are doing. I would love to see them become parents and am thinking of offering to be a surrogate. I would only use their own embryo, not my own eggs.
Has anyone been through this before or known someone who has? Providing it was not my eggs, I think I would be emotionally fine with it, but of course I don't know. Would love to know anyone who has been through this experience.

[Mummabear]

If it's your biological brother then it would have to be your SIL's eggs wouldn't it?? Otherwise the baby would be 'inbread' for want of a better term. Am I right in my thinking?

When I had health issues several years ago and it was unknown how treatment would affect my ability to concieve my beautiful SIL offered to surrogate for us if ever needed and we used to joke about how she could freak people out telling them that she was carrying her brother's baby, lol.

Sorry, I don't know much about this topic - just wanted to say what a wonderful person you are to consider such a glorious gift to give your brother and his wife. Once you actually know first hand what it feels like to be a parent, to be able to give that gift to people that you love is such a wonderful thing. To allow them the miracle of looking into their baby's eyes for the very first time. You're a wonderful person :yelclap:

[Smurfette]

Thanks Mummabear. I would hate them to miss out on the most precious thing that I have had the good fortune to experience.
Yes, it would have to be her eggs, otherwise I would having a baby with my brother. eww.
I hope they can do it naturally :fingerscrossed: , but I would love to be there for them if that is not the case.

[SuperWoman]

Sorry, I don't know much about this topic - just wanted to say what a wonderful person you are to consider such a glorious gift to give your brother and his wife. Once you actually know first hand what it feels like to be a parent, to be able to give that gift to people that you love is such a wonderful thing. To allow them the miracle of looking into their baby's eyes for the very first time. You're a wonderful person :yelclap:

I agree, for you to even consider doing this means you are a wonderful person. After what I went through to have a child and the possibility of maybe never being a mother is heartbreaking. You are an angel. Good luck with whatever decision you make. What does your DH think?:hugs:

[Mummabear]

Well, until I need my sticky baby dust it's all theirs!! I'll be keeping everything :fingerscrossed: for them - but at least with someone wonderful like you there to help them out they have alternatives. That is so much more than a lot of people out there. Sounds like you are a very close and loving family - the kind of family that raises wonderful bubbas :thumbsup:

[Smurfette]

I haven't discussed it with dh yet? I really am still going through it all in my mind and have only just decided that it really is something I would love to do for them. I'm not sure how dh will respond. He is away at the moment and I'm thinking of discussing it with him tomorrow night when he gets home. fingers crossed for me.

I just see this is the only way they will have a child of their very own. I will let you know how I go with dh.:fingerscrossed: With better luck, I won't have to go through it at all, they will be blessed with their own pregnancy. Oh I dream of the day they ring to tell me they are pregnant. :crying:

[DjF]

Wow - a very selfless act.:hugs:

The thing that is appealing sister/trust wise is that you cant decide mid pregnancy its yours and then run off with it - you hear so many surrogacy and adoption stories that have ended up that way - leaving the prospective parents devestated.

I guess if you are prepared for it, and DP is ok with it when you get the opportunity to talkit through a lot and everything is sorted - it should /could only bring happiness!:D

[sarahstarfish]

Hello

A beautiful gesture indeed - wow.

It does depend on which state you live in, the level of difficulty goes from 'doable' say in Canberra to nigh impossible in Queensland. So something to think of first up. There is a yahoo group called surroaustralia which would probably be worth joining as well as a general surro website called surromomsonline...this site has an Australian section which is probably really the only place you'll find that useful to start with, but people will answer your questions there quite willingly. Otherwise a google of your state's Artificial Reproductive Technology laws will give you an idea of what you are up against.

But I guess the hardest thing will be telling DH...good luck.

Love

Cindy

[yummmmy_mummy]

a grand gesture indeed and one i am thinking of doing myself as i love being pregnant but dh only wants 2 children:thumbsup: let me know what happens

[jennababe]

what a strong caring women you are!!...

i dont think i could do it.. the thought that you could give up your body for nearlly a year and bring a child into the world for them is amazing..

as for hubby.. ask him how he would have felt if you couldnt have had children together.. and if there was a special person like you who would have offered to carry a baby for you.. im sure in time he would understand why you would want to do this and give them such an amazing gift...

the only thing is i didnt think surrogacy was legal in australia?

goodluck to you and your family...

:fingerscrossed: that they make a baby naturally!!!
and thank god he has a sister like you to help them out if they cant!!

[mumma_jessy]

First i'd like to say, what a wonderful Sister your brother has.

I have been thinking about this for my brother and his partner too. It's nothing serious yet, they have been trying for almost a year and nothing has happened, she is yet to go to the doctor though, i think she is procrastinating, trying to tell herself nothing is wrong, and i hope she is right! But i keep thinking that if they can't i would carry a child for them, i've found the joy a child brings and i want them to be able to have the love of their lives in their arms too.

Lets hope both our brothers won't need our help though:fingerscrossed:

[Smurfette]

Thanks to everyone for your kind responses.

The update is my brother and sil had another failed ivf attempt and are going for another go soon, so :fingerscrossed:

Apparently they are not willing to adopt, which is a real shame as the waiting list for an overseas child is only around 2 years.

Hubby is not keen on me going surrogate for them, so hopefully they make it on their own.

[Bel1978]

Question to all....

I saw a Documentry on Foxtel, I think they said that the father is on the birth Certificate and the Person who gives birth is on the Birth Certificate then you have to adopt the baby to the mother.....

Is that right, if so you cannot carry your brothers baby... My Sister in Law suggested that for us as we do not have a baby yet we have lost 2 this year already, but to me i would rather adopt then some one else i know to carry the baby, if they are on the birth certificate.

My Husband and i are going to try again maybe a couple times more then consider adopting. He is 32 now, We found out that i have a blood condition which makes it hard to carry.

[Puffenstuff]

Hi, I am acting as surrogate for friends and I can tell you that in the ACT if a Birth Certificate is requested BEFORE 6 weeks and 1 day following birth the Surrogate and HER partner will appear as the parents to the baby in question. At 6 weeks and 1 day the Parents can ask the Courts to recognise their parentage (according to a specially created act) and when approved the child becomes 'officially' theirs. The Genetic parents will appear on any Birth Certificate requested after this time.

This act has been created to prevent the need for the genetic parents having to adopt their child.

Good Luck to anyone needing a surrogate or considering acting as one.

[bootiful]

I take my hat off to you offering your womb. I have offered mine too.

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are not able to have kids. My SIL has renal failure(no kidneys). She is unable to harvest her own eggs due to scaring on the peranium.

I offered to still be a surrogate carrier for my BIL sperm and another woman's eggs, but they refused.

The offer still stands.

Big :yelclap: to anyone who offers to be a surrogate :thumbsup:

[anna alw]

As someone who knows how important everyone thinking of undertaking surrogacy is ...

Many times the DH of the surro to be is uncomfortable with the idea, however often when it is all discussed they often change their views. A lot of negativity to surrogacy is lack of information and understanding.

A lot of research, reading and asking questions is needed to find out if surrogacy is for you and yoru family, however look further into if possible.

There are far too few surros than are needed.

Good luck in any journey if you find it is for you :)

[kylie81]

:angel: :yelclap: :thumbsup: Hi there you are a wonderful person for even considering to do this.. I’m a IP from Perth and if you go though with this you will be giving the most amazing gift anyone can give..
All the best with what ever you choose !!
xoxoxo