and it starts again... :(

[MilkOnTap]

Hubby and I will spend 19 separate days together between now and the beginning of September. I know its nothing in comparison to a gulf trip - but heck; at least if it WAS a gulf trip the $ would be worth while!

Sometimes I just get SO sick of this life :thumbsdown:

He is going to miss out on Jedd's 1st birthday and I will be 27wks when he gets home :mad:

[tootiredtosleep]

I am totally over it too. Even though DH doesn't go away for long periods he has been pretty much working every weekend since the start of the year.
DD stands at the door and says "Dadee" over and over and over again. And all I can say is "Daddy's at work"

I've gotten to the stage where I am forcing DH to take LSL so he can be home after DD2 arrives. It wasn't what we planned and he is very reluctant, but I just don't care anymore. I'm lucky that he is starting to wind down and although he is still very dedicated, he can see life beyond defence now. 2 years ago there was no chance of that.

But, today seeing him at the ANZAC service and knowing that he has such an important, worthwhile, vital job I felt really lucky to have him and oh so proud.

[bubs_and_us]

:hugs: my hubby works away (in the mines though, so different to the forces), and i know the lonliness all too well.

pm me if you ever want to chat

[MrsPee]

I hear Ya!!!!

There are 52 weeks in a year if which my DH will spend 29 of them at sea :mad:

We are diong IVF at the moment and I have had to learn to get over my fear of needles and inject myself because he is away all the bloody time.

He will be away when I find out if it has worked or not and he will not be home until 3 months later. I will then have the privilege :rolleyes: of his company for 1 1/2 months before he goes again for 3 months!!!!!!!!!!!!

If IVF works then DH will see me for 11 weeks of the pregnancy......

Oh the joy's of a being a defence wife :p

[V8]

Bummer, sorry Ally, that truly sucks.

[MilkOnTap]

Thanks for the thoughts ladies. It just.. sucks.. thats all :(

[woven_wings]

Thats sucks, how horrible. I struggle with DP's time away and its no where near as much as that. Weve got 12 weeks from April to Sep apart. Currently away now.

My thoughts are with you and feel free to PM me any time, as Im likely to be having a spit or being lonely too.

Hugs and love for you.

[ConcernedParent]

I hear you all and totally agree, sometimes it can be a lonely life and a sad one as partners see the good times / milestones acheived the other misses out on.

Recently, my DH came home and gave his dates when he will be away. I nodded and said OK - put it on the calendar. He seemed pretty down and I asked why, then he ratted off all the things he would be missing throughout the year . Birthdays, a family wedding, our anniversary, our kids school sports day, our eldest's scholarship testing and all the little bits that come up. There was a whole range of things and he was WELL aware what he was missing.

I realised then that he didn't need me to remind him. At the end of the day, it is not his choice to not be there. He misses out on so much and I did not realise how much it plays on his mind.

In some ways I feel very lucky as I have the choice to be able to be there for all the good stuff. When we get the chance, we get to have the great phonecalls and tell DH all the news.

At the end of the day, when he is here he is 100% here, jumping in with both feet. When he is not, I jump in for us. I know he appreciates it - and that's what counts.

[MilkOnTap]

Ohhh Concerned Parent - your post has me in tears... Hubby is like yours and he knows full well what he is missing out on... He gets so sad when he realises that there is yet another event/s that he is going to miss and so I never bring it up - it hurts him enough.

I think I feel more sorry for him than anything else... its not his choice to miss out on these things and I know he would be there in a heartbeat if he could...

We just miss him so much :(

[ConcernedParent]

But don't get me wrong. There are times when I really struggle but it is getting easier as the kids get older and get more involved in things they want to do.

[KJEmum]

I know my DH misses out on many things when away but when he's home, it's me that is the driver of the family car and have to drive kids to school and so on. Drive to get the shopping. When we lived in NSW it was me who would take DS to Cub Scouts. So honestly if he were here, it'd still be me doing it all.

Dragging him away from the PC is a challenge and I have to say 'right, you're home so you can come to school and meet the kids with me'. etc etc or 'we can go to the shops as a family cos when you're not here, i've got to manage on my own'. 'you can deal with Eve cos you're not going to be here for 5mths' lol. I milk it :)

I have to encourage him to do more family things with us .. to just go on a drive and see where the wheels take us. Go to the park and not have to worry how long we've been there for and just relax.

This is prob why I'm not miserable when he's away cos I do the running around and taking the kids out when he's here.

When he's on leave he'll come to the school assembly or other events at school. He needs to be involved with the kids and their schooling .. know where the classrooms are and so on.

I actually find more mums at school events and rarely any fathers.

[mummyof5]

I got our updated program the other day too, so I am feeling your pain....he leaves mid June, back at end of August, leaves mid September, back mid December. Only thing I can't complain about is the timing fell into place for us, both eldest kids and father's day fall in the few weeks he is home, then his birthday is a couple of days after he gets back in December.
Hang in there lady's!:)

[lavenderpegasus]

We just miss him so much :(


I think this is the main point that we all are saying in most of the post/vents and everythign really... We just love them so much and we only get angry because we want them so much and miss them being in our lives so much...


lp in wa

[MilkOnTap]

I think this is the main point that we all are saying in most of the post/vents and everythign really... We just love them so much and we only get angry because we want them so much and miss them being in our lives so much...


lp in wa

Yes!!! thats it!

Dont resent them.
Dont regret them.
Just miss them and love them :kiss:

[samsgirls]

I am happy atm, because my DH is on a weeks leave, and we will get to spend some time together, but it is always so sad when he goes away. Yeah, u do start the cycle again. I get a bit anxious because he's going, things get a bit tense, but actually after DH leaves, I seem to be ok. Its like on with the show, because the children still need to be fed, entertained, etc. I always get excited when i get a phone call, cos you don't know when it will be. I guess, it is just awesome, that we can vent to each other, cos we can relate to each other. Sometimes, I would love DH to put his discharge in, then i think, nah! After he's been away for a little while, he will tell me how much he misses us, and how he wishes he didn't have to go away but I know he would get restless if he had a normal job, and he soon gets over missing us after he's been home for a while!:laughing::laughing:

[MrsPee]

Quote:
Originally Posted by lavenderpegasus http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=2598268#post2598268)
I think this is the main point that we all are saying in most of the post/vents and everythign really... We just love them so much and we only get angry because we want them so much and miss them being in our lives so much...


lp in wa

Yes!!! thats it!

Dont resent them.
Dont regret them.
Just miss them and love them :kiss:


:iagree: So well said Ladies :)
I think we should all have a group Hug :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[MilkOnTap]

I think we should all have a group Hug :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Ohhhh - feel the love!!! :kiss: :goodvibes:

[AbsNjai]

Im joining the group hug! :hugs:

Although some of those posts reminded me how tough it is, it aslo reminded me of those great times when the guys are home - so thanks to all!

take care all! :)

[KJEmum]

I don't think I'm as emotional as some of you and that's why I come across as a coldy sometimes lol. I got over the emotional bit years ago. I mean a week after I met DH he went away for 3mths so I was shoved into the deepend from the start. That was in 1993.
Yes we love and miss him but don't pine or show it although I was sick with cramps and diarrhoea on the weekend and really needed him home to play nurse.

We are proud of him and what he does and he is also which is why he's still in after 18yrs.