Over-protective of their only child?

[katharineyr12]

Hello everyone!

A question for parents: Do you find that you are sometimes over protective because you only have one child and find it hard to let go of them? Is it true that parents of only children will always try to make friends with their child?

Please please please answer!
it will do me sooooooo much help for my project!!! Most of these questions are based on my chapters in my project, that is why there are so many!

Thank you all for answering:thumbsup:

Katharine :shakehands:

[Benji]

I only have one child and often get accused of being "over" protective.

My house is completely childproofed, yet if he goes into his bedroom, I will still follow him. I never turn my back on him and I fret if he is away from me for even a few minutes, even if he is being looked after by my mother, who I trust completely.

I also worry when he is being looked after by his own Dad.

I'm not too sure if this is whether he is an only child, or from my personal experiences growing up. It would be interesting to see when I have number 2 one day.

I play with DS etc etc but I feel that I am more his parent than friend. Being alone with him 24/7 I have to be the one to take charge, or he becomes a mini tyrant.

[MummaBear03]

Well I didn't think so but maybe I am.

[jayisa02]

well we have a 4 1/2yr age gap between DS and DD but for awhile DS was only going to be a only child. But i would say im "over" protective of both my kids. I think its hard not to be these days??

Yes i do maintain a friendship with my children but im the parent first!!:)

[Ana Gram]

No, I don't think I am any more protective of my child than any other parent who loves and cares for their child. And no, I don't think parents of only children will ALWAYS try to make friends with their children. I am sure there are parents who do, not just parents of only children. Using blanket statements like this is one of my pet peeves.

[Qube]

Not sure, I only have one child and my family are CONSTANTLY accusing me of being a smother... My house is child proofed too but I like to be able to see him. Last night we went to a friends house for dinner and ds fell asleep, I kept checking on him and overheard my friend saying 'is she checking on him AGAIN??'. But I just want him to be safe. My Mum is the opposite, very relaxed and she has 9 kids, but sometimes I think she is a bit unsafe with some things she does.
That probably doesn't help...

[Nowhere]

I am over protective of Miki and i admit that BUT i dont think its becase she is an only child its because we have had to be so careful with her, I dont think its a bad thing either

[Scout]

We will only have one child. At almost 2, I'm not over-protective of DS at all. In fact, I would say that I'm not even protective. :laughing:

We have not child-proofed our home. We have adapted it but there aren't locks on doors, draws etc. He learnt not to shut his fingers in draws by shutting them in there a few times. Mind you, I'm not going to let him learn to not cut himself by playing with knives or that fire burns by giving him matches.

He goes to daycare 4 days a week so I can work and will also often go to playdates with his mates (and sometimes I don't stay).

As for being his friend, well that's a little too early to tell.

I'm an only child and my parents weren't over-protective of me at all and they never tried to be my friend.

[brooke]

my daiughter is an only child and we only plan on having the one... I am VERY over protective of her. I worry about her all the time. If she ever hurts herself when she is with DH i freak out and yell at him.
I hope that one day her and I can be Mother and Daughter as well as friends.. She is my whole life. I intend on spoiling her and giving her the world (well try too anyway). But I do think when you have the one child it is so easy for it to be all taken away that you do tend to be over protective to some point not to mention all your focus goes into the one child and is not spread out to more than one so it could seem that you can be more protective!
Sorry for the rambling!

[katharineyr12]

THANK YOU ALL FOR ANSWERING!!!!! :yelclap:
You all have been great help by answering these questions about only children for my project :thumbsup:

love katharine :hugs:

[SassyMummy]

I don't want to be friends with my daughter. I'm her mother - she can get her friend's elsewhere.

Of course, I want her to feel comfortable telling me stuff, but I don't plan on high-fiving her when she goes and has sex for hte first time, or wanting to hear all about her juicy tales of her high school mates. lol. I don't want to be THAT Mum.

I don't really think I'm over-protective either. I happily leave her with babysitters. Mind you, this is all happening as she gets older... when she was little I was over-protective, but that's cos she was a tiny bubba and I was a new mum.

[0BleSseD0]

A question for parents: Do you find that you are sometimes over protective because you only have one child and find it hard to let go of them?
I'm not sure about Mums of Only children befriending them..

But I am probably WAY overprotective. I have two children. I don't think I'm overprotective because I have one.. because I don't.

I think I'm overprotective because I know how untrustworthy the world is and how precious my children are.

[lochiebearsmum]

I am definately over protective of my DS. I think it is also because as he is an only child he is my main focus.... i dont have another 1,2 or 3 children to run after so everything DS does i am aware of. I also think that to him i am his best friend as we always play together however he also knows i am mum and what mum says goes!

[earthfairy]

Thought you might like a different opinion from the other side:D

I am an only child......

My parents split up when i was 7 & i never saw my dad again until i was 18. In the same year both my mums parents passed away & all other family lived interstate.

It was just me & my mum:valentine:

She became my best friend, & still is to this day. So many people comment on how close we are. Dont get me wrong, she was bloody strict with me growing up but i respected her so much because of what we had been through.

We still used to fight too!:laughing:

She is still my bestie & i love her as a mother, as a confidant & as a best friend.....

I hope that i have that relationship with my children.

I think you can be friends & a parent at the same time.

To me, i felt i could never betray her because i too thought of her as a friend. I couldnt lie to her or hide things from her. We have a very open relationship & always have.

She is an amazing woman & im so proud to have her as my mum & my friend.

Love you mum!:hugs:

[Jamaica]

Its sad but I no a lot of women who be-friend there children, only child or not, though it tends to be more only children.

My mother reaised me as a best friend not a mum and its great now im an adult but I made a concious decision not to do that with DD.

My main vice as the mother of an only child would be maybe in the past over socialising her to allow her the chance to make friends. I think she only has 1 mum and she can have a tonne of friends she doesnt need me as one too.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

I am very protective of my CHILDREN. :yes:

Having less or more of them doesn't make me care any less about their lives. :)

Some parents are more protective than others though and having an only child isn't the only reason for it.

[Rabbity Babbity]

I have only child, and I protective of her out of fear of losing her. What could be considered over protective though? I don't fear for her when she is with her father, or trusted family members though.

[Issey]

it is just my son and I. I don't think I am over protective, i let him do things on his own like go outside and look for lizards.

i put 'fear' out my mind when he stays with his dad as we are divorsed. i remind his dad about safety ie: locks on his balcony door, the pool, etc etc as that is what I am worried about.

i would not be like a 'mate' to my son, want to be a mother who plays and takes interest in him and his activities, takes him to things he enjoys, i want him to have a happy life and not want for things.

i am more scared about if something happens to me and he had to live with his not-so-good Dad.