First child syndrom??

[Rating]

Has anyone experienced this?

My eldest never had a problem when ds2 was born loved being around him loved sharing with him and just loves him being around.

Now Ds2 has just turned 3. My Ds1 is really upset.

We spend equal time with both the boys even more time now with Ds1 since its school holidays and Ds2 is at Daycare 3 days.

He thinks he always has to do everything. That everyone is against him. That he is always "spoken to badly" while his brother is "spoken to with a nice voice"

We try to not raise our voice at either boy but If anything it gets raised way more for Ds2.

I dont understand where this is coming from. He is very distressed, crying his eyes out!

I took time off work cause i seen this coming and wanted to spend time with him over the holidays without his brother.

MY por little buddy it makes me sad to see him sad. I think he is just struggling with growing up having to take responsibility maybe. Like helping clean his room etc.

Any tips for me! ? Has anyone else encountered this?

[Rating]

Anyone..

[Rachael]

Sorry I only have the one atm but just wanted to say hang in there :hugs: Maybe take him out to the zoo or somewhere he would like to go, just the two of you.

Goodluck :hugs:

[Sheer Bliss]

:hugs::hugs: What youhas said has reassured me that what my DD is doing is normal! She has just turned 3 & DS just turned 1. She was fine, a little jealously, but nothing too bad. The last few months her behaviour has been apalling, and the last few weeks she has started wanting to be a baby again. From being carried like a baby, crawling around pulling on my pants like DS does, to wanting me to buy her a dummy!! She ahs even climbed into the cot a few times and said in a baby voice that she is a baby & is going to bed, stop being noisy as we are waking her up. I think she feels like DS is getting all our time as he is so helpless, so she will act that way to get our attention too.

Our plan ATM, is to re-introduce a solid routine (we started one when DS came home from hospy, but it went out the window afer a few months when we got lazy) In it will be specific art time when DS is alseep - with a big emphasis that he is too little, babies can't play play doh, do cutting/pasting etc. We have been talking to her about how she is a big girl, and all the things that big girls can do that babies can't. Her badtime is half an hour later than his, she can have dessert some nights, whereas he can't. etc etc. What i had been doing was once he was in bed for a nap, taking the opportunity to have a shower & get some housework done, and she felt pushed aside. Now the housework is mounting - but she is much better, which is more important ATM. She still has her moments though!

The other thing, is that DS is starting to 'get in trouble' (we use our stern voices with him) when he hits her or takes a toy from her. Obviously we understand that he doesn't realise what he is doing, but in her eyes he is getting the same treatment as her, so she is lashing out less when he does it. HTH

ETA: I tried a few mummy daughter shopping trips & outings - but they seemed to make things worse. ALmost as if they reminded her of the things we used to do before he arrived (god knows how a 3yo has a memory of things like that!!) The thing that has made the most difference is just by doing things differently at home - keeping things normal, but in a way that seems fair in her eyes, without hurting DS and the time i need to spend with him.

[Rating]

Thanks for that!

It just makes me sad that he feels like this.. He is just over double your daughters age.. I guess thats why I find it so shocking. Also because I had expected it when ds2 was first born not now.