need to vent

[bellapaigesmum]

i have been with my partner for 4 yrs and our daughter is 2. i am pregnant with no. 2. my pregnancy hasnt been so easy so if i dont have to do something i wont. the other day i had pains in my tummy and they are still around a bit so i dont want to be cleaning up the same mess over and over again, just leaning over to put a nappy on dd hurts.

sometimes i wonder if i am with him for the kids and if we are stuck in this relationship because we dont know anything else. sometimes i fall in love with him all over again other times i just want to walk out.
i dont want to make any big decisions because i am pregnant.

how do i know if its over or not. i feel like we are going round in circles, he thinks i spend heaps of money and has a go at me for that because he is the one working but most of the money i spend is on bills and food shopping. i might spend $10 here and there on things for me or dd but it mostly goes on bills or stuff we need. i dont know where his money goes.

he never makes his lunch for work and wants me to do it and tonight i ask him what he wants and he says he will make it. if i havnt made his lunch he buys it and that costs a fortune.

his family we always argue about, they cut dds hair without asking and im told to not say anything and just agree because they will whinge to him later and he doesnt want to hear it. they give dd so much junk, we go there for dinner and she wont eat next thing i know they are giving her cake, chocolate and everything else then i get told she has bad eating habits because she saw kfc and asked for burger and chips and she was asking for chocolate all day. i was like that is because you all give it to her. i had to go to a funeral so fil watched dd and i found out she had been eating chocolate custard all day.

i am picking up jobs here and there so that we can have a little extra money but i wouldnt have to do that if df would just go to work everyday instead he says he isnt feeling well. i went to work even though i had been in hospital the day before because i was bleeding. i left work and went straight to the hospital 3 times because i was bleeding but he was still at me that we needed the money. sometimes i feel like he doesnt care about the baby i still have doctors telling me to rest and i cant rest much more. i did one week of work and had my docs appt after i finished and the babys heart rate was low

i think i have vented enough for now.

[Loopy Linda]

hugs, sorry not much more i can say that will help

[trouble]

You know, this sounds like my life a few years back, if that!

DH use to always wine about money, and what I was spending it on, always use to push at me to get a job, called me lazy all the time.

I also hate his family, his parents are divorced, but are as bad as each other, I know exactly how you feel when you say that you cant say anything because they just get in his ear later,

I dont really know how, but talk talk talk! is what you have to do, maybe see a counsellor, we did, and things are so much better now,

I feel like im treated with respect, and really feel like he loves me, and I know I love him, where as I was very unsure of these things,

Remind him you are a team, and have to have the same goal and be on the same page and talk about everything, or it wont work.

Just my opinion, hope it helps, I know it seems hard right now, but most of that is frustration.

[Sammilee]

Oh, big :hugs: to you hun, and vent away, that's what we're here for :yes:. I'm really not too sure what to say, but I hope things improve for you.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Got Wheels]

Wow this is a lot to deal with when you're pregnant. I can understand your worries, and also see why you don't want to make any big decisions when you're pregnat and hormonal. Only you can decide if its the right thing to stay, but after 4 years and 2 children, realtionship counselling is probably a very good idea. Sometimes we forget how to communicate with our partners and need a little help to get back to feeling like you're both listening and understanding what the other is saying. Counselling can help with this.

I did leave my partner whilst pregnant and it was the best thing for me and my new baby. It's scary and difficult but if it's the best for all, then it can be done. I'm not saying you should do this at all, just want you to know that you wil find the strength you need, whichever way you go, though some things may need to change in your relationship.

I'm wishing you the very best and I hope things settle down at home for you very soon. As for the inlaws, maybe you could send your daughter with a lunchbox of good food, and make it clear that this is what you would like her to eat for the day. As her parent, they really should respect your wishes, though I know in the real world, this can be a really hard task for some to achieve. In-laws can be :banghead: sometimes.