When did i get caught in a mess with who's the dad?

[BUTTERCUP103]

I'm really confussed. I've been seeing this lad for a year now and i've been on the pill up untill my last period when i stopped taking the pill. my last period was on the 19th of may which lasted aboy 5 days, i slept with my current partner nearly every couple of days up until the 3rd and we had a falling out, on the 9th i saw my ex partner and and some thing happened, he entered my virgina but he pulled out near enough straight away because we got interuppted, we didn't continue because i came to my sence's and relised i didn't want to do it, i felt so guilty. on the 11th i got back with my partner and we had intercourse on the 11th /13th. on the 14th of april i did a pregnacy test and it was negative but on the 17th i was feeling unwell and was due on on the 19th of april, so did a test and it was positive i did three all togeather and they all said the same. my current partner was trying for 8 years with his ex girlfriend and they even started to go through ivf because he had a low sperm count so he thinks the baby isn't his but if it is he wants to keep it due to been trying so long with ex. but that day when that happened with my ex is upsetting me , he didn't come but obviously theres precome, i don't want a baby to my ex and i don't want to wait 9 months for a dna test which my current partner wants. how do i work out my days, i want to know when i got caught pregnant? so i can make up my mind what to do next?

[our little treasures]

Last period, May or March?

You can do an amnio but it isn't safe.

It is a bit of a mess but I am sure it's nothing compared to what many have done in the past ;)

I hope things work out

[forbetoel]

I would say that ovulation would have already occured by the time you were with your ex. You did have sex with your current partner a lot.....was it all unsafe sex?

I would say your current partner is the dad. Obviously you cant rule out the ex, but I would say considering the dates and type of sexual encounter, that your current partner would be the dad.

[J&C0508]

Im no expert but if you have a 28 day cycle your O day would have been 2nd april so if you were doing it often up untill the 3rd i would say it was ur partners, cause by the 9th i think ovulation would have past and then pre sperm if there was any would have to be a very fast swimmer and you very fertile. I think its ur current partners, but as i said im no expert and that theory would have you on a 28 day cycle.

hth gd luck....

[chrysalis]

I agree with J&C0508 - if you assume a normal cycle, you would have ovulated around the 2nd of April. You are only fertile for approx 24 hours, so I don't see how it would be possible for your ex to have fertilised the egg on the 9th.

You were having regular sex with your current partner up until around the 3rd, the time you ovulated. I'd say almost 100% certain that he is the father.

Don't stress too much about it - there is really very very unlikely chance that your ex is the father. Especially considering the circumstances ... he didn't even ejaculate.

I'm not sure about DNA tests while in utero, I would not risk an amnio or CVS - you may need to wait until birth and assume that there is a really slim or negligible chance the baby is not your current partners

[ellie13]

How about you get a very early scan done= they are pretty accurate in estimating the age of bub- they cpuld point you into the right direction.

Good luck

[Jamaica]

You can get an amnio & they aren't 'not safe' but they do have risks tho I no 2 ppl who have had them and have had healthy full term babies.
And as for conception my Dr told me that it is almost impossible to get pregnant from pre-cum as it contains very little if any live sperm, it is actually more of a lubricant and its main componant is URINE! as pre-cum cleans out the penis of urine so that the sperm can survive when ejaculation does occur.

[BUTTERCUP103]

I came on my period on the 16th of febuary but i was hit and miss with my pill, then i came on my period on the 19th of march and didn't take the pill anytime this month and haven't come on since but by looking at febuary i have a 33 day cycle and i've worked it out on ovulation calculater it would mean the ovulation day would be the 9th of april, gutted! considering i did test on 14th of march and it was negative which would have been my day to come on with a 27 day cycle, but the test on the 17th was positive all fingers point to that stupid moment.

[WorkingClassMum]

I'd stop beating yourself up - you won't do you or the baby any good.

Granted you may no know genetically who's the dad - and legally who the genetic father is (and who may have to pay maintenance:rolleyes:)

But your current partner may want to consider himself the Dad.

If he's there during the pregnancy, the birth, the 2am feeds, the nappy changes, the first steps - then he will be the daddy.

Being a father is not just about "bumping uglies" - it's about fathering the child.

Have a long chat to your partner.

My cousin is not the genetic father of either of his kids conceived through sperm donation and ivf - but he has always been their Daddy.

If your current partner had of consented to sperm donation (as versus this confusing senario) - would he have been any less a father?

[BreakfastatTiffanys]

I'd stop beating yourself up - you won't do you or the baby any good.

Granted you may no know genetically who's the dad - and legally who the genetic father is (and who may have to pay maintenance:rolleyes:)

But your current partner may want to consider himself the Dad.

If he's there during the pregnancy, the birth, the 2am feeds, the nappy changes, the first steps - then he will be the daddy.

Being a father is not just about "bumping uglies" - it's about fathering the child.

Have a long chat to your partner.

My cousin is not the genetic father of either of his kids conceived through sperm donation and ivf - but he has always been their Daddy.

If your current partner had of consented to sperm donation (as versus this confusing senario) - would he have been any less a father?

:iagree::iagree: Very wise words.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[OJandMe]

Also,

The Pill can create unregular cycles when you go off it.

Did you ex-partner even have a chance to 'finish the job' (yes I KNOW you can get pregnant through pre-cum... but .. anyway)

Chances say that the dad is your current partner...

And if he wants to think that, and raise the bubba as his, embrace that.

You can always get a DNA test after birth if it's a huge issue...

Which I can't see happening unless your two partners during the period were of completely different ethnic backgrounds.

If you embrace the bubba as your partners, plan for it as so, and he can do the same.... then a bubba being born to two parents who love him/her has got the best... biology doesn't really matter.

[mummynow]

How about you get a very early scan done= they are pretty accurate in estimating the age of bub- they cpuld point you into the right direction.

:iagree: I think this is your best option if you absolutely feel the need to know. I just recently had a scan that told me I was 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant. An I have a friend who had a scan around the same time that said she was 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant. They measure the embryo and can very accurately work out how far along you are. This way you can count back and work out when it happened.

[ringneck]

i would say that is your current partners there is an extremely slim chance of getting pregnant from pre come. my older sister isnt my dads but he loves her like his own. if your current partner had that many problems before assuming it was him and not his ex with the fertility problems you would have to get a sperm donor anyway, i would say that it is a 99% chance it is your partners get a scan it will tell you how far you are, then if it is your ex's you can have a long talk with your partner, because even if he doesnt want it it is your body and you are the one that has to go through the psychological pain of a termination good luck

[BUTTERCUP103]

ok had a scan today and doctor said i was "about' five week pregnant. i worked out that my cycle the month before was a 33 day cycle meaning i got caught on the 9th of april. if i'm 'about' five weeks pregnant would that still mean the 9th of april was my conception day? and does that still mean my cycle would still be 33 days this month? considering thats how i worked out my ovulation day?

16th of feb -19th of march was a 33 day cycle i was on the pill contriception.

19th of march first day of last period and was not on pill.

14th april did pregnacy test negative.

17th did test positive

29th april found out i was about 5 weeks pregnant.

also when doctor said "about" 5 weeks did she mean nearly 5 or nearly 6 ? ?

[Allegra]

ok had a scan today and doctor said i was "about' five week pregnant. i worked out that my cycle the month before was a 33 day cycle meaning i got caught on the 9th of april. if i'm 'about' five weeks pregnant would that still mean the 9th of april was my conception day? and does that still mean my cycle would still be 33 days this month? considering thats how i worked out my ovulation day?

16th of feb -19th of march was a 33 day cycle i was on the pill contriception.

19th of march first day of last period and was not on pill.

14th april did pregnacy test negative.

17th did test positive

29th april found out i was about 5 weeks pregnant.

also when doctor said "about" 5 weeks did she mean nearly 5 or nearly 6 ? ?


I would think you would be six weeks today.

I was only on the pill for a few months when I was a teenager so I am getting a bit confused about something. You said that you have a 33 day cycle while on the pill, but I thought that you only have a 28 day cycle. 23 hormone tablets and 5 sugar. I must be showing my age with my lack of knowledge on modern pills.

[Butterflies&Hurricanes]

I really wouldnt be using your cycle length nor the scan result as a way of determining when you ovulated and who is the dad. You cycle would most likely be irregular because of stopping the pill. So you cant count on the fact that it would be a 33 or any day cycle. So thats out the window I would have thought. As for the scan, I dont care how accurate the doctors say they are, they arent. I personally have had inaccurate scans and I know of many women who have had the same. Scan results are based on 'average' baby data. What the doctors say that the baby should be like at what ever time. Who on earth has an 'average' baby. They are all different and develop differently. My scan changed my dates 2 weeks away from what I knew it was (I was charting so KNOW when I ovulated plus I wouldnt have been pregnant when I took the test if the scan was right) Anyway, so my point is, not accuarate!
As for taking a test on a particular date and it being negative, its quite common for women to take tests when their period is due and get a negative and then get a positive days later.
Its a horrible situation to be in. But I wouldnt rush into deciding who the father is. if its that important to know, I can only suggest the amnio but remember that comes with risks... Otherwise you'll just have to wait till bubs is born and do a DNA test then.
Having said all that, I must say its highly unlikely (although not impossible) that your ex fathered this baby!

[BUTTERCUP103]

:iagree: i was in a really bad place after i was stood up by my partner on valantines day the 14th feb and the following month my head was in mess, bills got missed etc and theres i good chance i could have missed pills or had more, i don't really know. but that the first time i've thought of that, theres 21 pills in a pack then you have a 7 day break.

so theres no why of telling really how long my cycle was that month or any hope in predicting it this month is there.

only facts i have then is the date of last period 19th of march and the doctor says i'm 'about' five week. i don't even know when i should have been due on in april now or how late i am now i don't my cycle.... everythings a mess.

[MrsPee]

I have answered my own question :)

Good Luck