just don't know what to do - 11 weeks old, crying, at wits end

[sasholi]

can anyone tell me if this has happened to them, because I am at the end of my tether...

My bub who was a angel has become a little crying demon and I don't know why. He was perfect up until the last week - falling asleep on his own during the day (usually with a little coaxing but nothing dramatic), and sleeping really well at night for about 5-7 hour stretches.

However, the last five days have been terrible. The night time is still fine. And I know many of you will think - what have you got to complain about? But he just will not sleep at all during the day, and just cries and cries. And if I finally get him to sleep he is awake 30 minutes later crying.

I am at my wits end - I just feel I can't cope and that I must be doing something wrong. I love my baby so much but I am just finding it exhausting to the point where I just dont have the emotional energy to laugh with him and play with him but just do the mechinal feeding, bathing, changing things...

Has anyone else gone through this?????

[Briannabear]

Dear Aleksander's mum,
I do know that feeling you have at the moment! :( My bubba went through a really windy/ colic time a while back. She wouldnt settle through the day and was difficult to settle at night. The food I was eating made a big difference. We also tried some homeopathic settling drops... that was our lifeline. :p
Im not sure if thats any help to you, but sometimes its nice to know that someone else has gone through it. They do grow out of it eventually. All babies are so different!
Bec + Brianna Jade (5 months) :D

[Chickadee]

Poor you! Take a deep breath... Your current state and reaction to your son's crying is perfectly normal. I've seen mums physically break into a sweat at the sound of their bub's crying. Going through days and days of it would test even the most perfect mum to their limit. Don't blame yourself, you're probably doing everything fine, or why else would he have been such an angel up till now!

Luckily I never went through what you are, my daughter stayed an angel. but I've had plenty of rotten days when I had no energy or interest in my daughter other than meeting her physical needs. & I had a lot less reason than you for feeling that way.

His constant crying isn't normal or right. Is it possible that there's something physically wrong or hurting him that could be making him cry all the time? One midwife told me a story about a bub who had a hair wrapped tight around a toe which was causing the pain and it wasnt' until they did an inch by inch exam that she found it. It might be that all the daytime crying is wearing him out so that he still sleeps at night, but whatever it is that's bothering him is enough to keep him up during the day.

I'd suggest going to your CHN or doctor for a check up and help. Someone from QLD might have some other ideas for local resources and help you can call. I think if I couldn't get help any other way I'd turn up at the local emergency dept at the hospital and demand to see a pediatrician & let them listen to the crying until I got some help.

And also - you need a break. Is there anyone you can call to come help or even to take bub for a walk in his pram while you sleep?

[angcaltam]

Have you ever heard of something called infants friend? We were told about it when we had our last bub and it was great. You get it over the counter at the chemist, and it helps bub with lots of things like wind, constipation and lots of other stuff.
It is worth a try.

[Tea Lady]

Yikes! That sounds terrible!

It's so awful when you don't have the energy to enjoy them. I find it really hard then when my husband comes home and has a nice time with the baby - although at least it means the baby gets some fun with someone. I would agree it would be a good idea to see a Dr - just to put your mind at rest. Also, maybe you could get out and let your bub sleep in the pram or sling or whatever works best just so that he gets some sleep. My only other advice is to make sure you've got something good to watch on video while you feed, so at least you have something nice to look forward to during the day and it makes feeding seem less like a chore (plus it's cheap Tue at the video shops!). Not very helpful I'm sorry, but I hope it improves for you soon.

Lucy

[draught]

I also think a trip to the GP can't hurt - they won't make you feel stupid for bringing a baby in if you are worried. Another option is to give Riverton a call - I have rung them a number of times and always found them to be very supportive and helpful, particularly when I am in tears on the phone because I am at my wits end!
I also think that getting out of the house with him is a good idea - the change of scenery might be good for him and you will feel a lot better, even if he is crying. Hope the days improve.

[Brenda]

I think a trip to the Dr would definitely be a good idea. At least that way you can put your mind at rest that their is nothing wrong with his health. It seems strange (to me) that at 11 weeks he has gone from a happy baby to crying & unhappy.

My bub cried non stop from 2 weeks to 3 months (colic?) for hours at a time, so I can definitely relate to how you are feeling emotionally. For those first 3 months I honestly just had to take each day one day at a time and go through the motions. Their were lots of tears (his & mine) and heaps of self doubt and 'I can't do this anymore' moments but somehow you can always make it to the end of the day and then hopefully find some positive energy to start the new day with.

My bub is 7 months now and it definitely gets so much better as they get older. If you see a Dr and make sure he is ok physically you can take strength from the thought that it does get better, I promise you.

The best thing you can do for yourself at the moment is to not be hard or critical on yourself. If all you can do is go through the motions and make sure bubs needs are being met don't fret about it. Their are many more happy months ahead where you can laugh and play (& sing and dance & go a little loopy) together.

[Tea Lady]

How's everything going Aleksander's Mum? Is he making life any easier for you?

[sasholi]

Hello all

I just want to thank you all SO much for everyone's support. If I had waited another day or two to write that post everything would have been fine. He has settled down SO much now.

I called Riverton, and she said to take bubs along to the child health nurse at the child health centre (I was going the next day for a mother's meeting). My darling hubby stayed home with me on the Tuesday, to try and settle bub for me and we managed to get him to have a good sleep Tuesday morning (it helps to have hubby around - you just feel SO MUCH more calm!).

Went along to the child health nurse, who chatted with me about tiredness cues. As it turned out (i tried this and it is working), I was actually putting Aleksander to bed TOO early (I thought you had to get in quick before he got over tired!), before he was tired and ready to go to the sleep. At least, this is what I think (the last couple of days have been great!). I have played with him a little more after his feeds, and watched for his tired signs (It is difficult to differentiate tired with bored). When he started to get a bit whingy and his laughs changed tone, I popped him in bed, where, without a problem, he fell asleep. It happened like that all day yesterday and so far today.

I feel totally happy and am enjoying being with him, and am actually getting the housework done (what an achievement!)

I also think he was going through a growth spurt which was unbalancing him a little bit.

Anyway, so far so good. we have had 3 good days in a row now, and this is the fourth.

I find that he sleeps better in the mornings, so we stay at home in the mornings usually and then head out in the afternoons, where it doesn't matter if he stays awake a bit more...

Anyway, thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it!!

Oh, and another great thing to add to this story - he has done 8 hour sleeps overnight for the past two nights in a row... Starting to feel human again... :D

[Chickadee]

That's great news, I'm so glad things have settled down. But screw the housework! Leave that for hub and have a nap or do something for yourself instead :)

[Marilyn S]

That is awesome to hear!!!

I am 28 weeks pregnant with my 1st and I find it really helpful to read these posts and all the great stories...

so thanks for being so open about what was happening...

I am pleased all is starting to settle down.

marilyn.

[sasholi]

Hi all - just to check back - eveything is smoother sailing. Bubs is now 13 weeks old (3 months today actually!!!) and it is getting a little easier. He had a week of sleeping 8 hours straight but for the last week he has had night time waking... Maybe once or twice during the night. I think he is going through a maturation transition thing because he isn't hungry when he wakes - he's just awake and grunting and usually goes back to sleep after 15 minutes (with either hubby or myself sitting next to him in his room).

the one thing I can say is that babies change all the time. One week, or one day is always different to the next!! So whatever they are going through, if it is bad, at least you know it will be different in a week or so... :)