Between a Rock and a Hard place

[nemosmum]

Dont know what to do???

My son attends daycare three days a week while I work, he has allergies and gets sick alot

I know its normal for kids to get sick, But my sons allergies often flare up within the day care environment (at home I am able to protect him and he doesnt get reactions etc)

My problem is my son has been hospitalized twice in 6 weeks and has been very sick for over 2 months off and on. When he has a reaction he is put on heavy doses of steroids and becomes very angry and unhappy (the cure is sometimes worse than the illness:( )

It is so hard to watch my baby go through this, now when he sees the meds he freaks out coz he knows what they do to his little body:crying: .
The last paed. I spoke to said I should remove him from childcare, otherwise she predicted more hospital stays!

My second dilema is the fact that I have no more sick leave for the rest of the year (as its used up from the last three time ds has been sick) so I have no income when ds is sick but still have to pay $90 a week for day care. It just doesnt make sense to me.

My third dilema is I really love my job and would hate to leave BUT.........

My sons health comes first.

MY last dilema is I am having trouble with dh and we may seperate in the near future so if that happened I would really need my job to help support my son.

Should I quit my job and take my son out of care?
Is there any type of extended leave I could take during the winter months (as this is when ds gets very very sick)?

Or should i just stick it out?

Sorry Im just so lost at the moment of what to do

Sxx

[caitsmum]

Do you voluntry contribute to Super? I know it may be a bit of a long shot but a few super plans have income protection for illness ect. Maybe they would take your son's health problems into account I don't know to be exact it was just a thought. I feel for the situation that you are in. I hope that you are able to find a solution.

[the_queen]

What a horrible situation to be in. :hugs:
I think every working parent has that "torn between two places" kind of feeling - but yours sounds so full-on, I can't even imagine what the stress you must be under.

Frankly, if I were in your exact position, I would quit my job TODAY.

My DH and I separated for 18 months, and at the time I was working fulltime but had no car, the child care lady was far away from my new place, and to organise to get to daycare then work meant I left the house at 6:30am and got home at 7pm at night. And combine that with the stress of a marriage breakup, plus guilt over my daughter being separated from her father.... for me, it was a simple decision. I loved that job, but when it comes down to it, there'll always be other jobs. There'll always be more time to work later on. My little girl needed me, so I quit my job. We struggled in the beginning, and after about 8 months I was back on my feet and got her into a lovely community child care centre just up the road, and managed to get myself another job.


Good luck with your decision mate :hugs:

[rynosmum]

I can only imagine what you are going through S.

I guess it also doesn't help that you seem to have such an advantage working in the same centre as O is. Have you spoken to the directors any further about special allowances for him ? That is, maybe they have to look at remedying the sleep environment - if O has allergies which flare up because of this, potentially other children will have as well. That would be my first action and to try and get the directors to understand his condition at length and see if they are prepared to adapt.

If not though, I don't think you have any choice but to remove little O from the environment which is going to be so hard as you both love it so much :(

Have you spoken to centrelink and family services about your entitlements should the separation take place ? I wonder if you would be truly much worse off ?

PM or call anytime. Hugs for you both :hugs: :hugs:

K

[sopolicha]

What a pickle.

You only have one son and he is irreplaceable.

You will always be able to find another job somewhere.

Money, always seems to work itself out.

You won't be able to concentrate on much else until O is more stable health wise.

Do you really want to leave O in an environment that is contributing to his illness?

[*My Lil Blondie*]

i completely agree with sopolicha. our children are irreplacable. i know that when DS caught his first cold i was distraught with worry and that was just a cold! i cant imagine what its like seeing ur bubba in hospital! i really feel for u! can a relative take your little one for a few hours instead of day care? even if they watch him at ur house?

[Bee and boys]

Oh big hugs to you I could not imagine being in your position. The only other thing I can think of is a baby sitter or Nanny do you have any family members to help you? Wish you and bubs all the very best. Keep your chin up ;)

[rainbowbeetle]

i work in a long day care centre. to be honest, i dont know if id recomend this environment to parents.

can you look at perhaps family day care, less children, home environment?

or hiring a nanny or babysitter for your own home, where you know the environment is right for your son?

perhaps place an ad in your local paper, and ask for a reliable mature person to look after your child in your own home? that way it may be cheaper, and you could work a deal with them?

but as everyones said, you're childs health is the most important thing.

goodluck with it all.

[Peaceangels]

S, sorry to hear you are having to deal with such tough decisions atm :hugs: .

I can understand that you are having trouble deciding what to do when there are so many factor's involved.

I know you have spoken to the staff about O's allergies, but maybe it is time to take it a step further. Try and set up a private meeting with the most senior staff member/director and explain the dilemna you are in - You really love your job, but unless some real concrete changes can be made in regards to the bedding he sleeps on, then you have no choice but to leave (O's health is your #1 priority and the fact that you have no sick leave left).

It's hard to even contemplate leaving a job when you love it so much, but you will never know what's out there if you don't give it a go and chances are you will find a more suitable centre with regards to O's allergies.

As far as finances are concerned, things always just seem to work out. You never know, you may find a suitable job straight away, or there may be some assistance you can receive from Centrelink (as someone mentioned earlier), so cross that bridge when you have to.

I think your right in trying to sort this out before winter comes along, just take each day as it comes though and try not to worry too much.

Maybe it's worth comparing the cost of family day care or a nanny for O, that way you can still stay at your job...............

I hope your dilemna's are solved real soon and I'm here if you need to chat! :kiss:

[nemosmum]

Thanks to everyone that has posted I really appreciate it, as Im having a "Why me" day LOL:eek: :( :o

O looks alot better today and hasnt needed any meds yet so Im really:smiliedance: happy , but I just dont know how much more he and I can cope with.

I am going to be very strict with the director and maybe talk to her about family leave as I know that one of the teachers I used to work with took a year off work to care for her dh who had a stroke (I know its sooo not the same thing) but maybe I can do something like that??? I will ask it cant hurt.

That said I am also going to keep up the natropath and try out this new bioresonance therapy and see if it helps reduce O's allergic reactions.

I guess I worry too much , but its so hard watching O go through this coz I always think "what if" ykwim

I will see how he goes once he is over this last allergic episode and then take it from there.

If i have to quit my job then so be it.

Thanks again girls, I hate being such a downer I feel like thats all I do lately and I am not usually like this i promise.

I promise my next thread will be upbeat and fluffy lol

sxx

[nemosmum]

Thanks girls Im going to close this thread as I am feeling better about the situation and dont want to carry on "oh poor me " etc etc:ecomcity: