View Full Version : When / How to tell your child you are adopted
As the title says if you were adopted when and hpw would you tell your child?
I ask as i am adopted, and have always been open with the fact. So most people who know me know i am adopted.
Was just wondering if anyone has any ideas on what age etc and how to tell them?
I never remember being sat down and told, i have always known Mum said that she used to sing about it to me when i was a bub.
So want my children to know as i would hate them to fin out from someone else.
my step mum was adopted, and my little brother and sisters (who are now 13,11,8 & 6months) have always known, SM told them right from early on that they were special cos she was adopted and now that she knew her birth mother and father they were lucky and got another set of grandparents etc...
so they love it, and they know, they have never not known... but obvisously saying that exact thing wouldnt work if you havent met your birth parents though... but i guess if you just talk to them and tell them about it etc all the time then it will just be something they have always known :)
We have just brought our kids up as if it's just a natural fact of life
I'm not adopted, but my Dad brought us up as a single father until he married the step-monster and we all played the Brady Bunch. (I "met" my natural mother when I was 18)
My kids have always known that Nanna C is my birth mother, and Nanna J is Granddad's wife - my step-mother.
We talk about these things quite openly so that there's no "finding out", it's always been outed IYKWIM
Yeah i talk about it all quiet openly in front of the girls. Had an arguement with Dh about it all last night. He thinks nothing should be said untill they are older.
So still thinking about it.....i dont want them to have the "big finding out thing" either.
we told our kids from day one, I told them "their" story while I was feeding them most days, I told them about the love that their birthfamily had for them even if they had trouble expressing it. We talk about their birthfamilys as soon as they are able to speak, we welcome questions and our kids know there birthfamilies first names(expect our first adopted son as his birth family wouldn't allow it)
We write letters to 2 of them and get replies and even gifts from time to time.
I think the best and healthiest option is to be completely open, after all in this day and age so many families are not average(2 parents, 2 kids and the family dog) families.
Its should be a normal part of your childs life, but we do allow it to be child led, when they want to talk about it we do, otherwise we just go about being a family..............
OHHH and I scrapbooked there adoptions and all of them go back though their scrapbooks from time to time.
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