Torrens House - sleep issues

[nicoleE]

Has anyone been to Torrens House?
Just wondering what it is like, the kind of things they do and teach you and if it helped.

DD is 6 months old and doesnt self settle, only has 3-4 25-40minute sleeps during the day and wakes every 3hrs for a feed at night.

I have tried lots of things (and still am), have been doing allot of reading, at the moment I am reading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and am trying some of her suggestions but so far no good.

Im persevering for now but am interested in knowing about others' experiences with Torrens House.

Thanks.

[mummynow]

:yes: I went there when DD was 5 & half weeks old. It was such a positive experience for me. I was beside myself at the time. She was not feeding properly therefore not sleeping properly. I was sooo sleep deprived and incidentally ended up with post natal depression. I learnt so much there. The important thing is to remember they are there to help you and you need to not be afraid to ask questions. Even ask to talk to the counsellor if you think that will help you (it did for me)

They taught me heaps of stuff I didn't know about settling and feeding. But then again I had a newborn and you have 6 months 'experience' so to speak so it may be stuff you already know - who knows. But it is a hard place to get into so I would make the most of it if I was you and give it a go.

Good Luck and I'd love to hear how ot went after you've been :thumbsup:

P.S When are you booked in?

[Mummy2R&K]

I went there when DS was nearly 6 months old.

And to be honest, I didn't get much attention at all from any of the help there. I think it was because DS was older or something, but I found the newborns were fussed over so to speak.

I had to ask what to do when he woke up at night etc.....it should of been told to me at the start so i knew what to do.

He was in my room, right near the nurses station, and they said they'd come get me when he wakes. A little while later, I wandered towards my room and he was SCREAMING and he doesn't do that very often - he just doesn't cry at all. They'd just left him there in that state - saying no one had heard him.

But having said that, they were very nice, but conflicting information from different nurses was :thumbsdown: - i was so :confused:.

I did leave however, with a few good tips.

[nicoleE]

thanks ladies.
She isnt booked in yet but I am thinking about it. She isnt a terrible sleeper but I really think she could do allot better.

Hmm, maybe if we go i will bring in my own baby monitor to use so I can hear her and not rely on them! I am very against letting babies scream it out and it would break my heart if that happened to me (im a big softie first time mum!)

[Nan]

A friend of ours had massive problems with her little boy's feeding and therefore sleeping/settling and her parenting style sounds a lot like yours. She raves about the place and has nothing but praise for it. I'd go for it. :yes:

[the_queen]

I went there with DD for feeding issues, she didn't have sleep issues as such so didn't really have problems with their style - but they were very strict, very scheduled, very much in favour of "controlled comforting/crying" whatever PC name you want to call it. If you're reading Pantley and liking her idea's, I don't think Torrens House would be in line with your philosophy. :hugs: :hugs: Have you taken her to an osteo or chiro? Sometimes baby's have a crick in the neck or are "out of alignment" and can benefit greatly from a nice massage from a skilled person. I've got friends who swear by their osteo for sleep problems.

[OJandMe]

Could it be the position she is sleeping in?

I know Gabs was waking every 45 mins until I gave in and let him sleep on his tummy...

Now he sleeps all night, and for about 1.5 - 2 hours at a time during the day.

[mummynow]

but they were very strict, very scheduled, very much in favour of "controlled comforting / crying"

I have a friend who went in 2001 and they were very pro controlled crying back then but when I went in 2005 they told me that it has all just been changed and they don't support that anymore. They never did any of that with me. It was completely the opposite really.

[soon2Bmamaof3]

They were a god sent for us.:yelclap: My DD and I went there when she was four months. She had 2 25min cat naps during the day and woke up every 3 hours at night and take anything from 1/2hour to 1&1/2hrs to get back to sleep. There techniques are simple, wrapping for a young child rocker and patting, control crying for older children. They also teach you about timing and routine keep them up playing for so long etc. Noone ever talk to me about that stuff as all my friends babys had they own routine or went with the flow and were happy. Having a strict timing for everything is what my child needed. They are things you probably already do and they will teach you something you don't do. But have someone there with you at 1am when you feel like crying because you can't get your baby to sleep is wonderful. the first day and half and didn't think anything would change and we were was our time but have a nurse there to get you to hang in with it but day 3 happy sleepers. On the afternoon of the 2nd day my DD sleep for an hour and half I couldn't believe it. If you get the opportunity to go do, it save my sanity and I had a much much happier baby as a result.

[the_queen]

I have a friend who went in 2001 and they were very pro controlled crying back then but when I went in 2005 they told me that it has all just been changed and they don't support that anymore. They never did any of that with me. It was completely the opposite really.

I'm glad to hear that. That's good - it was late 2001 when I was there, too.

[Sharai]

My son was born Nov 2001 but couldn't get in until January 2002 Hayden was 8weeks had problems feeding and sleeping. There was one lovely lady that helped me no end I think her name was Karen she was a big lady with very long hair and she was a god send.
My first group ( I was there for 2 weeks ) 1st week was a great group we even had a party on the last day. They help get DS on the supply line to encourage to BF. We got it at that week but stayed for the next week as we just wanted to make sure he fed well as he wasn't gaining much weight. By the 2nd week he went backwards with feeding but did ok with sleeping I was devestated that at 9 weeks I was to give up BF as he fussed and screamed to which later found out he had reflux and it wasn't my fault at all. But also when he was born the midwives fed him by bottle on a fast teat that wasn't even the peristaltic one that mimicked the breast so I was really cross. They fed him as my milk did not come in for 5 days.

In my first week at Torrens house they had a close to 12month old that had sleeping issues the little girl had to totally change her routine and yes they did controlled crying back then. I don't let bubs cry for 10mins but at the time I used a shorter version that seemed to work and also got DH to do the night settling so he couldn't smell me. But I think since DS had reflux as well it added to the problem with his feeding and sleeping.
I found much help from most of the nurses there. some are a bit strict and blunt but most were nice. The bub slings helped with DS.
I participated in the activities that they ran and the 10 min relaxing techniques and baby massage, and other sleep techniques.
So at the time what they were teaching me with DS seemed to work well and we were able to adjust the controlled crying situation to suit how we felt.
I even gave DS my tshirt I wore for the day to he could smell me as if I was near by I rolled it up in his bassinette. I also used music as background noise so he didn't get sensitive to the silence and wake up.

Once I found my routine things became better.

If you feel stressed and bubs is not feeding well or sleeping well. And its upsetting you and frustrating you tell your CYH nurse. Show how frazzled you are and that you wish you could have someone to watch the night routine to show just how unsettled bubs is and hopefully they refer you to Torrens House.

Good Luck.

[nicoleE]

Thanks everyone! I didnt think id get this many replies.

Im not sure we will get in to be honest. I have to first have an appointment with CYH, rang today and the earliest they have is the 28th April (and that was at another CYH my closest didnt have anything until early May. Then if they cant help they can refer me to Torrens House but it goes up against a selection panel to choose who goes in... i really dont think they will choose us, im sure there are many families worse off. DD is not a horrific sleeper, she just needs to learn to sleep better. She does sleep at night, she just wakes a couple of times, but its probably her day sleeps that i wish she would improve on, they are worse on my sanity, i just cant get much done around the house and at times DH has been angry that i have not done something (normally something he needed washed - apparently im a mind reader).. so then i feel under pressure to get things done... the house could do with a real good clean to, i get the basics done every week but other things need doing also. DH works 1 full time and 1 part time (sports related job) so isnt home much to help. I just really wish she would sleep longer during the day, i seriously daydream about what it would be like, what i could get done (including rest!) if she did! I think i really need that time out to, DH wont look after her, i think he is scared he wont know what to do, of course as a result she now settles for me with no fuss but no one else (she isnt too bad with my mum who looks after her briefly on the odd occasion such as if i have an appointment).
The main problem really is that she wont self settle and has short naps.
I cant put her in her cot if she is not completely asleep during the day (at night she is better). I tend to put her down on her side as this is the position she fell asleep in in my arms, she tends not to wake when she is put down then. when she wakes after her naps she will soon start to cry out, i have a couple of toys in her cot for her which she might grab but even then she wont last longer than a minute or two in there. I try to have play time in there to, she has a lovey with my scent on it, she has a dummy, i have tried the radio, relaxation music, patting her etc before she wakes from that sleep cycle, plus other things. She sleeps in various locations which is good, but none longer than the other.

I asked the Parent Help Line about if they used Controlled Crying as i dont want to do it and apparently they dont but they do let them cry but you are in the room with them.

Im a bit dissapointed that im probably looking at not getting in, im not sure if i can teach her what she needs to know (i have to be taught first!) myself :gloomy:

[Sharai]

Another option to think of is to see if someone from CYH can come out to your place and help you with the settling and come out for a few hours and give you some ideas. I know my friend had someone come out I think once a week for some time to check and help out. Might be worth a go.

[mischief79]

I hope you can find something that helps you and DD. My DD is also 6 months old, has 2-3 30-45 minute sleeps during the day and still wakes at least 3 hourly at night and needs a feed. I've just started solids so hopefully that helps. She won't stay in a routine so none of the books that suggest 2 hour sleeps in the afternoon work and I don't want to do controlled crying.
If you find something that works, let me know!

[mummynow]

I know my friend had someone come out I think once a week for some time to check and help out.

:yes: That's right. Even after going into Torrens House, I then had a CYH nurse come once a week for a few months then, fortnightly for a few months. Then once DD turned 1 the nurse came once a month until DD was 2 years old!

I had actually forgotten about that (thanks for reminding me Sharai!)

It was really helpful :thumbsup:

[nicoleE]

That would be a great option if they would do that, probably a better alternative than Torrens House for us since DD isnt terrible, Im sure there are worse than her that deserve a spot before us.

mischief79 your situation sounds exactly the same!
I will say one thing though, I gave DD solids in the evening yesterday for the first time just to try it (she already has cereal in the mornings). I gave her some Sweet Potato at 6pm in between breastfeeds. She doesnt go down until later so went to bed at about 9pm last night. I dreamfed her at 11 and she didnt wake until 4am! She normally would wake at 2am then at 4am! Not sure if it was a coincidence or not but she hasnt slept that long in months. Tonight she had some carrot but a bit earlier, at 4:30 (again between breastfeeds, i try to make it in between feeds but no later than 6pm) so im not sure how she will go tonight... not holding my breath! it was nice to have 4.5hrs sleep in a row last night though, i normally get 2-2.5hrs at a time!
Good luck.

Thanks again ladies for your wonderful help :hugs: