Question for the bf, co-sleepers

[Rainbowbrite]

MJ is still co-sleeping with us which we love but have noticed that she is waking every 2-3hrs a night for bf. She feeds every 4-5hrs during the day. I was told by "well meaning types" that if i stop co-sleeping she will not wake for bf as she wont smell me. Part of me wants to stop the night feeds (oh how i long for a full nights sleep:sleeping: ), but i dont want to neglect her need for feeding.

How did you know when to stop co-sleeping? Also how did you stop?:confused:

Thanks ladies

[Jem]

your lil one is 6 days older then my ds2.... i still co sleep with him and he wakes as often as a dozen times a night for a feed :eek: depending on how much dp tosses and turns...lol
sometimes i find myself in the most uncomfy position, or needing to go to the loo... but i dont.. as i dont want to wake up ds2...lol
im hoping to get him out of our bed soon, as he is taking up too much room...
ds1 was out of our bed by the time he was 10-11 months

[kadownie]

we kind of co-sleep with our twins- my mum calls it musical beds! I have them in seperate rooms. Ellie doesn't really like to co-sleep most of the time- but I often get up in the night to her- just lie down with her and she usually gets back to sleep.

Cameron spends a lot more time in our bed- but starts in his. I usually go and try to settle him in his bed but often he just is better in our bed.

I recently night weaned them- they are 19 months- but it hasn't really stopped them waking- though they have been sick!

So, even though I've night weaned them and they are in their own rooms- they still do wake and would have a bf (and often do when I'm feeling really tired or they've been sick) to settle.

So what you feel is right for you and and your bubba.

[Goosie22]

Hi ranibowbrite
I have co-slept with both my boys and they night weaned themselves about 10 - 12 months, we continued co-sleeping until my oldest was around 6ish (did the mattress on the floor transition to own room) My second baby decided to go and get into his own bed just after he was 2 and ditch co-sleeping the same way he ditched breastfeeding (very independant) My boys have always had their own rooms with beds in them even when we co-slept. I think they do it all when they are ready its more fuss to push them.

[RuthK]

I co-slept with all my 3 until they were 3 months old, then I put them in a cot next to me bed. That was when they slept for much longer periods as both them and I were too aware of one another. I think they can smell your milk and just that extra distance can make the difference.

[Jinx]

DS1 slept in our bed until he was about 2 1/2 - I was 6months pregnant at the time and it was just getting too uncomfortable. He was breast fed until he was about 12months old.

I wish I could remember how I weaned him at night because now DS2 is about 9 1/2months, sleeping in our bed and it seems like he is feeding every hour!! When he is finally sleeping and I manage to get my boob out of his mouth, I don't dare roll over or move incase I wake him up! It can be so uncomfortable!! Poor DH usually gets sent to the couch because he tosses and turns too much!

Rainbowbrite, DS1 is now 3 1/2 and I still don't know what it is like to have a full nights sleep!! My mum told me that until the kids are grown up and moved out I probably won't (and prob not even then!!).

[Jem]

DS1 slept in our bed until he was about 2 1/2 - I was 6months pregnant at the time and it was just getting too uncomfortable. He was breast fed until he was about 12months old.

I wish I could remember how I weaned him at night because now DS2 is about 9 1/2months, sleeping in our bed and it seems like he is feeding every hour!! When he is finally sleeping and I manage to get my boob out of his mouth, I don't dare roll over or move incase I wake him up! It can be so uncomfortable!!

Rainbowbrite, DS1 is now 3 1/2 and I still don't know what it is like to have a full nights sleep!! My mum told me that until the kids are grown up and moved out I probably won't (and prob not even then!!).

i can so relate to everything you just said :D

[Rainbowbrite]

I wish I could remember how I weaned him at night because now DS2 is about 9 1/2months, sleeping in our bed and it seems like he is feeding every hour!! When he is finally sleeping and I manage to get my boob out of his mouth, I don't dare roll over or move incase I wake him up! It can be so uncomfortable!! Poor DH usually gets sent to the couch because he tosses and turns too much!

Sounds like MJ. If i roll away, she wakes. I just wish DH would go sleep on the couch or spare bed, but he wont.

Sounds slack i admit but i need sleep :sleeping:

[Funkychicken]

I always give Hamish his last feed in the evening while lying in our bed. He quite happily goes to sleep on his own after a burping-but only since we introduced a dummy. Before that it was me feeding him to sleep and our older two completely missing out on story time and cuddles from mummy at bed time (unfair to them). When I go to bed I pop him in his cot (next to our bed) and I can have between 2 and 5 hrs sleep uninterupted. When he wakes I pop him in next to me and he feeds while I go back to sleep. Sometimes I'm comfy staying on my side , sometimes I stir and lay onto my back with Hamish kind of tucked under my armpit.
He is starting to settle into this routine really well now although if he wakes again in the early evening I tend to offer another feed.

Gotta admit I don't mind if DH turns around and sleeps the other way-Hamish and I have more room.:)

[Mother Duck]

How lovely to hear of all you nuturing mummies with your bubbas!!

We didn't co-sleep with M but did always welcome her into our bed if she wanted to be there - had the bassinette right next to the bed until she was about four months old and then as I say still brought her in with us if she needed.

I was just wondering - have any of you tried not giving them that demand feed through the night? - if so how did that go

Also - if you can get hold of a cot with a removable side it can go next to the bed - thus bubba is still sleeping with you but in their own space too - works quite nicely.

It seems so natural to think of a baby in bed with ma and pa - how secure and loving

Anyway - good luck

[aardvark]

I'm finding that DS wants to feed LESS if he is co-sleeping than if he is not.

I assume its because he is getting the physical comfort in bed with us that he doesn't need the comfort feeding.

He's nearly 11 weeks, and just has one halfhearted feed somewhere around 2-3am, then an all-he-can-eat buffet around 6-7am.

[Jem]

[QUOTE=Jessie]

I was just wondering - have any of you tried not giving them that demand feed through the night? - if so how did that go [QUOTE]


i take the easy way out... plus i usually have to try and keep ds quiet so i dont wake dp who is up early for work... its jsut too easy to take your boob out and give bub a feed... dont even have to sit up :D Mayve i shouldnt give into him all the time, i know he mostly foes it for comfort... but hey they grow so quickly...and i want to make this last as long as i can :)

[Rainbowbrite]

I was just wondering - have any of you tried not giving them that demand feed through the night? - if so how did that go

Also - if you can get hold of a cot with a removable side it can go next to the bed - thus bubba is still sleeping with you but in their own space too - works quite nicely.

Hi Jessie,

I've tried just cuddling MJ but she squirms & screams till i feed her, all through the night. But i would love some ideas :)

With the cot, mine is a regular cot with the side taken off.

[truelove2]

with my little one.
he sleeps in the same room as me, but in his cot with the side on. he will have a big feed about 10, 10:30 then got to sleep till 3, 4 maybe 6 then wake up have a good feed and go back off to sleep till about 7,8 or 9. depends on what time he last feed.

with my man, he will have funny soft nosies to let me know he is awake and wants a feed, as i am the same. my hubbie gets up early for work, so as soon i hear the sounds i get up feed him and put him back to bed. my hubbie will ask me in the morring when did he feed, as he never knows when he does. some times he sleeps all night and other times he will wake once for a feed.

i think the sleeping in the same room helps them to sleep better, but this is my first do i can't realy say.

:)

[Mother Duck]

Yes I tend to aggree that sleeping in the same room as you gives them a certain security, particularly when they are really little.

Rainbowbrite - I have a few ideas I am happy to share but given that I am not a co-sleeping mummy in the true sense, I wonder if my comments are a bit out of line here?

I would be saying things such as - maybe try water from a bottle - just sipping etc instead, or maybe a dummy (although lots of different thoughts about dummies!)

I think although it is always hard at first - especially with a sleeping other half who has to work next day, it is worth persisting. Bubbas are so clever they soon get 'stuff' and they need to know that you (as a family) have needs as well

Hope this makes sense - a bit rushed - plus climbing toddler crawling up leg....bye :)

[Funkychicken]

I'm finding that DS wants to feed LESS if he is co-sleeping than if he is not.

I assume its because he is getting the physical comfort in bed with us that he doesn't need the comfort feeding.

He's nearly 11 weeks, and just has one halfhearted feed somewhere around 2-3am, then an all-he-can-eat buffet around 6-7am.
That sounds so cute-An all he can eat buffet!!!:)

[Rainbowbrite]

Rainbowbrite - I have a few ideas I am happy to share but given that I am not a co-sleeping mummy in the true sense, I wonder if my comments are a bit out of line here?

I would be saying things such as - maybe try water from a bottle - just sipping etc instead, or maybe a dummy (although lots of different thoughts about dummies!)
Any advice is appreciated :)

We gave up the dummy about 3weeks ago & would rather not go back there. Might try the water though. Just not sure how. MJ cant/wont take a bottle but i'll try the cup :)

[tanni_83]

all i know is your hormone levels go up at night so the night feeds 'help' (not totally protect) you not fall pregers again so soon....but thats if you want it. elise 'is almost 11mths and we still co-sleep and she doesnt have many night feeds mostly early morning ones starting from about 3-4am

i dont plan on changing any time soon :thumbsup:

[juju]

Hi there, I play musical beds with my ds as well. He starts off in his own bed but is always co-leeping by the morning...sometimes I can't even remember getting up to him! He sleeps in a cot in a separate room but it doesn't stop him waking. I have tried resettling without feeding him but it fires him up and I just don't have the energy to change things.

[Michimum]

Firstly I have to say that one of the best things I have ever done is listen to my Bubba (and DH) and have our little one in the bed with us to sleep. We live in a cold climate and among other things the thought of her getting cold and lonely, or needing something...anything and me not giving it to her was horible. We recently ditched the cot, and queen size bed and bought a king and it is BLISS!!! :smiliedance: thumbsup: Unfortuntely we now can't afford a bed frame :laughing: and the king mattress is on the floor!!! but it is probably safer us all being closer to the ground anyway, in case of rolling treasures!
I find that my little one can go five even six hours during the day before she needs another feed but at night she is about 2-3 hours. I am not worried because I know that she empties both breasts meaning that she needs the food. And the times that she doesn't I know that she needed the contact. I tried to feed every three hours during the day thinking that she was left hungry from the long periods during the day, but she still woke 2-3 hourly at night. It can get hard, and some times the thought of an uninterupted nights sleep seems sooooo far away, (and lovely!!!) but I reckon that...it will happen, but until then when bubba wakes (maybe from a bad dream??) she knows that we are there. The number of people that comment about how happy she is is great, and I think such a big part of that is the fact that she gets feeds or cuddles when she needs them. Too many people are all too quick to tell us about how to care for our baby and most of the time that seems to include some sort of 'punishment' for what they call 'bad behaviour'... babies can be had work, but never bad!

best of luck;)

[Pixie]

Eliza is only 6 days old but 3 of those days she has co-slept and I love it easy to BF etc...but like some of you how to get them into their own bed she wakes up immediately when put in, unless she is deeply asleep.

[Mother Duck]

A beautiful description Michimum - I'm interested to know - what age do you plan to co-sleep until? Or any other co-sleepers for that matter - do you have a plan or intend to just play it by ear?

What about if they are number two or other - how do the older children feel about bubba being in bed but not them?

[the_queen]

Eliza is only 6 days old but 3 of those days she has co-slept and I love it easy to BF etc...but like some of you how to get them into their own bed she wakes up immediately when put in, unless she is deeply asleep.

Can't offer you any advice on this one DM, Vallerie was just the same. All I did was wait a bit longer, until she was faaaast asleep. Of course, with little bubba's the sleep cycles are shorter... But I survived, she survived, she's not "overly dependant" on me, like I was told she would be if I didn't force her to cry herself to sleep. She is very "attached" to me, but I can't see how that can be a bad thing :).

Vallerie still goes to sleep in our bed and eventually when DH comes to bed he puts her in her own bed. For us it works well, she does go to sleep in her own bed occasionally and if I really need her to do so but she is whingey, all it takes is me sitting with her and holding her hand until she falls asleep. (Less than 3 minutes usually:thumbsup: I think the trick with bedtimes is to put them to bed when they are tired, and don't wait until they're overtired. Hmm yeah as simple as that :rolleyes:)

My husband is a smoker so we can't co-sleep in the true sense of the word (of course, he could just QUIT or move into another bedroom but that's another rant entirely) ANYWAY... I was reading something recently about co-sleeping, and putting kids into their own beds after they're asleep. You know that feeling you get sometimes when you're almost asleep, like you're falling? And it wakes you up with a jolt?? The literature I was reading suggests it may be a psychological throw-back to when you were a tiny baby being put into your cot after you were already asleep. :detective: Interesting, hey. But not really helpful LOL!!

Just read this post back, and here I was thinking that I was wide awake at this time of the morning when in actual fact I think I need about 10 hours more sleep LOL. Hope my incoherence either made: a) some sense; or b) you laugh.

[Funkychicken]

Eliza is only 6 days old but 3 of those days she has co-slept and I love it easy to BF etc...but like some of you how to get them into their own bed she wakes up immediately when put in, unless she is deeply asleep.
We have asimilar routine to the_queen. For about the first 4 weeks Hamish just slept with us all night but then I decided I was ready for a couple of hours sleep in which I can stretch and move around, so I would put him to bed in our bed and then when I went to bed I would pop him in the bassinette. He was deeply asleep by then. When he woke a couple of hours later, I would pop him back in with us so he could feed and I could continue sleeping.
It's pretty much the same now (he's 3.5 mths). Feed him at bedtime in our bed. Then I dreamfeed him at my bedtime and pop him into his cot that is next to us. He then sleeps anywhere between 4-6 hrs. I'm enjoying the 6 hr stretches immensely!

It takes time to get the hang of the whole sleep thing and it can be concerning when they are tiny that if you don't 'get a routine' with sleeping you'll end up with them in bed with you forever. This so doesn't happen. The don't have their first real 'awakening' to the world until they are about 6 weeks so by having her close to you now you're establishing the most beautiful mother to baby contact that you can and by about 6 weeks she will have absolute faith that you will always be there.
I'll post a link to a site that was recommended on bubhub a while ago. I found it very reassuring when Hamish was tiny.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

Good luck with you beautiful Eliza!:)

[Michimum]

Hey Jessie, thank you. Sorry that I was a bit on my high horse that day!! I plan on playing it by ear for when we move her to her own bed. My Mum had four of us and she was very happy that when she was pregnant with the next child that her and Dad would start the educating that "soon you will be a big girl and have to sleep in a big girls bed" She said that we all made way for the baby thinking we were so tough!! One of us apparently was a bit more stubborn but two nights after baby was born (and all those in the room were waking every couple of hours!) he said "OK, I better go to big bed" and that was that.

Thinking a bit more about it, referencing Dr Sears info and all his related links I think that babies are so interested in the world during the day and learning and exploring are more exciting than feeding, explaining how they go a bit longer through the day, but come night when they have Mama all to themselves, its time to get serious! Also I believe that BM digests so readily into their systems that about two three hours is it. Take away all those day time distractions and they will feed more often. :)

[Mother Duck]

One of us apparently was a bit more stubborn but two nights after baby was born (and all those in the room were waking every couple of hours!) he said "OK, I better go to big bed" and that was that.:)


That is hilarious! - LOL :p

[kymmy]

co-sleeping is something we didn't intend on when our oldest was a baby
we were somewhat embarrassed about it
but now we know we have to do what is right for us
parenting is like that
it is about instinct, i think
that is why there is no handbook after the birth of your baby...


everybody in our house has a bed but they can choose whre to sleep
we have a queen size bed
as well a bunk, a single and a king size bed
The older kids like to sleep with their dad
but sometimes sleep in their own beds
I bf my 6 month old and co-sleep in the king single

it works for us

[Pixie]

I first posted here when she was 6 days old well shes now 8 weeks old and still in our bed I love it, although we have popped her into her cradle a few times when she wakes up she comes back to bed with us. It's working, I have a very happy content baby :D