Do you think this is rude?

[abo84]

:confused:

My best friend and I do just about everything together, therefore I always hear about her sister-in-law, and how rude she is, I have met her a few times and could see that she is a little rude, but you know how people can tell you what someones like, but You just dont REALLY understand until you see it for yourself?

Well best friends hubby and sister-in-law, there mum sadly died from breast cancer last year, and over the weekend my family went over to best friends house for a bbq, as hubbys grandparents were visiting, they brought gifts,

The grandma,(after loosing her duaghter to this cancer) has got right in to making butterflys and other things and all profits go to breast cancer, so she gave my best friend and sister-in-law, a few things she made,I thought they were really pretty, and so did my friend and friend and hubby gave the grandma money to donate.

The sister-in-law, blew up at the grandma in front of everyone, and said "I dont want your ****, I want nothing to do with breast cancer," and called her some names Id never even think of, and threw everything back at the granma, while everyone was sitting around the table.

Then my friends hubby, went of at his sister about how she can be so rude, and the grandma ran off in tears.:crying:

the grandma also told the sister butterflies were a sign for breast cancer.

Last month my friend and her hubby got married and released butterflies.

So the sister came running back and screamed at my friend for hating the mum because they had them at the wedding.

I can understand that everyone is hurting in this situation, but I do think the way she delt with it was rude. But I have been told she often has bad outburst like this, even before they knew the mum was sick.:thumbsdown:

[Elfin]

Oh dear what a sad situation. I think this is an example of how different people grieve. The Grandma is trying to make some positive of breast cancer to help others and the SIL just wants to run away and hide as she hasn't come to terms with it. Both are legitimate forms of grief.

That said I don't think she handled it well and really it sounds like she needs some grief counselling, she sounds like she really needs to resolve her anger which is part of the grieving process for some people. I feel very sorry for the Grandma who was just trying to do something kind that was taken the wrong way. It isn't her fault and I also don't blame the SIL.

It is really hard to lose your Mum, it happened to me and I am convinced it was from smoking. I felt very angry about cigarettes, anyone smoking near me or my children I wanted to hit, etc. Then I felt guilty like why didn't I do more to stop Mum from smoking etc. I have come to terms with her death now and I can live with smokers and smoking as I see it as their choice and there is nothing I can do about it so I am not angry or guilty anymore. All this just takes time.

I just want to send my best wishes to your best friend's family.

[abo84]

I know everyone greives different, my brother died in a car accident 2years ago, after a brek up with his long term girlfriend, he drove his car drunk home from the pub and did not wear a seatbelt, his blood alcohol level was more than 4times the legal limit, and the police were just shocked how he could ever start the car that drunk.

The only person Im bitter with is him, but my mum goes to schools and talks to kids about it, I personaly think she is wasting her time, I think everyone knows you should always wear a seat belt and never drink and drive, thats why there are laws. Even my brother knew that. But it didnt stop him, we have very different views on it but I would never yell or throw anything at my mother, even know she drives me nuts with how she deals with it, I dont show her.

I try to help her like she did with all of us in our own way.

I feel ike the sister needs to grow up a bit and get some respect, fair enough she does things different, but I do feel this was really rude.