Maintaining relationship with DH?

[chuckles]

Hi everyone :wave:

Just wondering if anyone has some tips on maintaining their relationship with the DH while tending to the kids needs and running the house ect.

Sometimes i just get so busy doing things with the kids and the other 'stuff' that has to be done..........that our time together barely seems to happen :rolleyes:

I think that DH maybe hestitate in having another child due to the time factor - ie if we are so busy now, would we get too busy having another??

Thanks Everyone!! :flowerz:

[MrsDribbleDrawers]

I'm not sure that there is a clear answer... I know that for all our hard work, sometimes it doesn't count for much at all!! We don't have many people around us we can leave our three with (MIL is elderly, SIL works full time, my family is miles away, feel guilty imposing on friends), so we try to do little things every day... a cuppa together most mornings, a chat once we're in bed for a few minutes, stealing grown up time can be difficult, tends to be after kids are all asleep, whenever relatives visit, we con them into looking after the kids for a couple of hours while we go out for lunch...

I'm also not the best housekeeper, and would far prefer to sit with DH and chat, or just "be", than wash dishes or do the laundry... even on my quietest days, I'm still surprised at how busy I can get!!

Not much advice, but HTH

[Kachow]

We find that we HAVE to make time or it just doesnt happen. After about 8.30pm when the last kid goes to bed we will sit and watch TV, but we find ourselves laying in bed at night and talking just to catch up on things.

:hugs: to you cause I know just how hard it can be.

[WorkingClassMum]

We (me & kids) cook things like muffins just for Daddy - the ones he especially likes, and the kids are encourage to write Daddy notes and put them in his lunch box.

I get up early on some mornings to have a coffee with him (4.30ishhhhhhhhhhhh:sleeping:)

We go out for dinner occasionally on our own, or recently I tookthe day off work on his RDO and we went out for lunch together

[Kachow]

We (me & kids) cook things like muffins just for Daddy - the ones he especially likes, and the kids are encourage to write Daddy notes and put them in his lunch box.
Awwwww what a nice idea

[SassyDiva]

We have 2 kids so I wouldn't class us as a large family, but we also run our own business with DH working at least 11 hour days. When he gets home the boys want time with him, we need to have dinner, do some bookwork and try to get time quality time in together.

So for us, we've started (as corney as it sounds) date night. Once a fortnight its just us going out to dinner, or a movie or sometimes I can drag him to the clubs. Its great cause we get to be us - not mum & dad for a night.
Also we make time of a night once the kids are in bed to chat, talk about whats going on.

Find an intrest together - we're starting a dancing class together which will be a laugh because DH has 2 left feet :laughing:

Its hard to balance family time, couple time and work life, but its worth the effort.

[Roopee]

You know what? Its really hard to factor it in. I really feel for the men to be honest- they miss out on alot.

Our marriage very nearly broke down over this. We/I was stuck in 'the daily grind' while the poor man went out o work and had to come home to me, who was cranky, tired and pretty much all talked out. I didnt want to talk- i had been spoken to all day.

It took one very emotional night on both our accounts to come to a compromise (he wasn't blameless) and it's now going to great!

I dont want to post too much in an open forum but if you need any advice i'm just a PM away.:hugs:

[LoveMyBoys]

For me and dh...we just make sure we make time for each other.....my dh works away 3 weeks a months so on his week off we have to fit as much US stuff in as we can.....We are lucky and do have family who can watch the boys so we can go out for tea.....my boys are all in bed by 7pm each night....leaving us with some time before we are too tired and grumpy!....then theres always the little things.....just having a cuddle on the couch....sneaking off while the boys are happy watching a movie;)...stuff like that helps keep us going
I was once so wrapped up in my kids i forgot all about dh.....til i got a rude shock!

[sja]

We try and go out to dinner once a month - we swap babysitting with my BIL and SIL, so they go out once a month too.

Daily, DH and I tend to catch up with eachother over dishes! Once the kids are in bed, if there's still dishes to wash, DH and I will either do them together or he'll sit at the kitchen table while I do them. If there's washing to hang out, or bring in, or fold, then he'll either help me, or stand nearby while I do it. This way we can chat while we get the house in order. Now with the new baby around, one of us will usually be doing dishes etc while the other one is holding the baby (who is usually really settled as long as someone is walking around with him). I still count this as quality time as we talk about everything and anything and often have some great laughs.

[cackleberry]

It is very difficult, but we try so hard to fit it into our day as we didn't want the kids to grow up and then find out we don't know each other anymore. We very rarely get to go out alone anymore as we just don't have anyone to babysit, but we try to have time alone together after the kids go to bed. They are in bed by 7.30-8pm and then that's our time for relaxing watching tv or having a bath together chatting about our days. There was a few months after we first got our business (we own a mechanical workshop) where we realised we weren't talking as much and we started to lose touch, it was awful.

[chuckles]

Thanks for ur replies everyone - i guess its great to know we are not the only ones that struggle with getting the balance right with finding time for our relationship.

[Angel333]

Put the children to bed early then you and DH will hopefully have time together.

[CJJHRA]

but how do you get a 16 year old to go to bed early... it just doesnt happen.

I think if its important to you, you will find the time somehow. You find time for the kids right, so I am sure you will find time for DH time, even if it means your eyes haning out of your head the next day because you stayed up chatting and what not till 2am in the morning LOL..

[chuckles]

i guess we have the added issue of DH working at nites while i'm out of the house at 7am in the morning............

we dont really get to see each other til the weekend as he is just getting up while i'm going out the door............