coping with kids

[sugar n spice]

How do you all do it?
I feel like im on the verge of a nervous break down:banghead: .
Everything is piling up on top of me and i can't take much more. My dh just shrugs anything i say off, he is always working even when he gets home and the kids well my oldest 4 1/2 yr old he talks back, plays rough with the youngest, doesn't do anything i ask, pulls all his toys out and doesn't clean any of them up even thought there spread throughout 3 rms:banghead: . I know what your all thinking what am i winging about, all kids do this, i know. But i feel like im always getting frustrated at something. I do i love my kids dearly but i need some time. They come in my room and its like i want that to be one sacrad spot i have. i feel like i have given up every dream i ever have and that im trapped. i love my dh but not in the same way as when we met and wer'e drifting apart. Sorry for my winge and i will stop here i just needed to get all my bottled up emotions out there.

[CJJHRA]

I take it 1hour at a time :banghead:

with the cleaning up, try to turn it into a game, but you will need to play it too, and have a reward chart.

If you say something you have to follow it through, reward good beahviour, ignore bad, easier said than done, I know!!

and :hugs: it will get better

[SassyDiva]

It's hard being superwoman hey...

I know exactly where you're coming from - I have 2 children and they keep me constantly on the go. And like you said DF and I dont get the time to connect like we use to so Im so worried that we are growing apart too.

We had a huge fight a few weeks back but some good came out of it as I now have ME time. One night a week is my time to go shopping / take a yoga class or just sit and have a coffee with a friend - that way DF gets to c what being with 2 children is like (even though its only for a few hours) and I get to come home relaxed after MY time and be a better mother.
We are also getting a babysitter once a week and am going to start playing tennis together.

Hopefully this will give us better balance in our lives - maybe u could work something out that suits your family.

Good luck

[JoshienEmmiesmummy]

yup your not alone. DS has been testing me for a good couple of weeks now and some days i feel like i am going to explode. Luckily i have a great DP who comes home to sort it all out. He cleans and bathes the kids etc if my mind has just gone BLAH! and usually by the next day when the house is tidy i feel better. Could be a few days before another meltdown, could be weeks. Like another poster said best way is to take it hour at a time, get some me time when your DH comes home, you NEED to have it. :)

[JnA]

Rachel :hugs:

I don't have any advice or words of wisdom like the others do.. but I just wanted to give you a :hugs: .

FWIW IMO you've done a fantastic job in raising those boys, from what I saw of them (granted not a huge amount of time) I think they are adorable.

One thing in your post struck me though, that you feel like you have given up your dreams. I don't know what they are, but try not to think of it as 'giving them up' but just 'puttin them on hold'.

I hope things feel better for you soon.. :hugs: (for the road ;) )

[reAllytee]

Hang in there :hugs:
Your doing a great job !
Vent all you like thats what BH is for !!!!!
Your a great mama so dont doubt yourself & your also very kind & sweet.

[sugar n spice]

It's hard being superwoman hey...

I know exactly where you're coming from - I have 2 children and they keep me constantly on the go. And like you said DF and I dont get the time to connect like we use to so Im so worried that we are growing apart too.

We had a huge fight a few weeks back but some good came out of it as I now have ME time. One night a week is my time to go shopping / take a yoga class or just sit and have a coffee with a friend - that way DF gets to c what being with 2 children is like (even though its only for a few hours) and I get to come home relaxed after MY time and be a better mother.
We are also getting a babysitter once a week and am going to start playing tennis together.

Hopefully this will give us better balance in our lives - maybe u could work something out that suits your family.

Good luck

Unfortuanetly that doesnt work for me in that you come home relaxed as when i used to have me time i found i would come home more stressed when i walked throught the door as i would come back to a mess and caos.

thanks tash, ally, ally, mel and everyone else just knowing someone is listening and that i can get my feelings off my chest and not be ignored helps, so thankyou so much. Thanks for letting me know im a good mum that is something i just don't get to hear. I feel like im continually critised.

Tash i will try and think of my dreams as being only on hold.:hugs:

[CJJHRA]

i would come home more stressed when i walked throught the door as i would come back to a mess and caos.

ooooo thats so me! Especially if its messier than when I left, I usually leave instructions I want the house just as clean, or cleaner when I get back. Thing is here, its left to my eldest son to ensure that, DH will be on his butt playing games, oblivious to the mess and noise! And put pressure on DS#1

I have been getting better at ignoring the mess when I get home, slowly.

A good cry in a long hot shower destresses me.

[sugar n spice]

OMG how do you do it? 6 kids, wow. i think a good cry in the shower is good:crying:

[Jem]

Oh I know how you feel.... I have no idea how i do it :o
I just keep on keepin on :laughing:
Sometimes im so buggered i feel like im running on empty...i really dont know what advice to offer... all i can say is that one day they all grow up, get jobs and leave the nest.. i think its then that we are able to have a little bit of R&R :D
it can all be tough and testing.. just hang in there, and do the best you can do :)

[sugar n spice]

thanks jem:hugs:

[Jem]

thanks jem:hugs:

No worries mate :hugs:

[Elfin]

SS I know exactly how you feel. I am going through this at the moment and sometimes I feel I am losing patience. When I feel this way I just need time out, I know what you mean about feeling more stressed walking out the door but sometimes you just have to hand the reins over to your dh and hope for the best. I am also looking into occasional care just to have a few hours here and there to myself. Just try not to be too hard on yourself.

[sugar n spice]

thanks easterlily for you words of wisdom. glad im not the only one:hugs: