40+ Mums with Baby/Toddler as Only Child

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi Ladies, thought as I've seen a couple of you in some of the other "older mum" threads that we'd try and coax some of the other 40+ mums out of the wood works who have been hiding.

Well I'm a first time mum and I'm 44. My DS will be 3 in June.

Am I the oldest out there!!!!!!! Please someone make me feel better... anyone!!!:D

[MariaO]

Hi, Aoife is my only baba and I am a 41 year old mother. I can't believe that she is a year old! Anyway, I love being a mother but I also loved my twenties and thirties (even though I would have been very happy if Aoife had made an appearance a few years earlier!)

[melbourneprincess]

Hi ladies

I turned 40 this year and have a beautiful daughter who's 2!!

Ironically, my Mum had me at exactly the same age (38) - funny how history repeats itself!

Anyway, you are definately not the only 40+ Mum out there. Even tho I am "over the hill", I don't really consider myself as "old" - I think age is a state of mind - and DD certainly helps keep me young!! :smiliedance:

[provencein3]

Okay butterfly kisses just to make you feel better. I am 45 and my son (only child) is 2.

[ButterflyKisses]

Hello Ladies

it's nice to see I'm not the only older "first time" mum in our ranks.

provencein3 all I can say is :smiliedance: hallelujah :yelclap: at last I'm not the oldest. Not that you are much older than me as I'll be 45 in a couple of months too.

It's not that bad being an older mum however there's 2 things I regret:

The first is obviously that I won't have as long to spend with my DS as I would have had I had him in my 20's so I sort of feel I've cheated him of 20's of my life but here's hoping that at least I live until I'm at least 80 so he'll still have a few decades with me. I just hope I'm still here when he has children and :fingerscrossed: he doesn't have children at my age otherwise I'll never be a granny.

2nd is that he will probably be an only child now :crying:

how do you girls feel about my 2 regrets? do you feel the same???

[shed]

I will be 37 when my baby is born and he will be an only child. So I will be 40 when he turns 3.

It doesn't bother me, I always knew I would be an older mum and I always only wanted one child.

DP wants two, so we'll see what happens. This pregnancy is pretty hard on the ole body, but I have nothing to compare it to really.

[provencein3]

Hi Butterflykisses

I'm hoping my son won't be an only child. I actually joined BubHub to advertise in the Egg donor section. I declared last year whilst going thru an IVF cycle that it was going to be my last and that was it, but couldn't so we shall see. Hoping though it won't take too long as I don't want to be much older.

There are women older having children. Sometimes naturally. Generally via egg donor.

I remember being young, can't remember what age and thinking that I'd wait until I was a lot older to have children....by older I was referring to 26. Gee that is sooooo old. Opportunity never occured so I guess there's not a lot I can do about that. I wonder however if I wouldn't be so tired if I was younger. It's wonderful that women our age can have their first child but realistically would it not be more efficient (energy wise) to have them younger.

I also wonder whether I will be a granny for the same reason. Its funny. I go to visit my grandmother int he nursing home. She is 92. The attendents ask if I'm her daughter or granddaughter. I figure - how old do they think I am. But someone said, 'look at the age difference between you and my son'. Its still not that bad but as I say there are women having children up to 50.

Re the number of years with them, realistically how much dedicated time will you have with them once they have their own family...particularly I think if they're a boy. So I've never seen that as a regret. Just hoping I won't have to kick the ball around in the back yard with him when he's 12.

Shed ...soon to be.....I actually found my pregnancy very easy. But I think i was relatively fit and did moderate exercise throughout. I can remember going on a camping holiday and walking up steepish hills when I was about 6 mths pregnant that a younger male I know couldn't do.

[MariaO]

I will feel sad for my little one is she is (and she probably will be) and only child, but that is life I suppose.
I don't know that you could call it a regret - I am not sure what I would do differently. I loved my twenties and would not have wanted to be a mother then- I am sure I would have been a desperately selfish younger mother. In my thirties, by the time I met the right man, and tried to have a family it took longer than we would have wanted but there you go - as I say, i only feel sad for Aoife a little if she is an only child.

I love my relationship with my siblings, especially my sister so am sorry that she probably will not have the equivalent.

[melbourneprincess]

It's not that bad being an older mum however there's 2 things I regret:

The first is obviously that I won't have as long to spend with my DS as I would have had I had him in my 20's

2nd is that he will probably be an only child now :crying:

how do you girls feel about my 2 regrets? do you feel the same???

I have to say, I don't think it's quantity of time so much as quality of time - think of what you, as an older (hopefully lol) more mature person can bring to the life of your child that you couldn't have brought to their life if you had had them at a younger age.

I know that in my 20's, there was *no way* I could have been the parent I am now (saying that in a good way, lol!!). And *not* saying that younger parents have nothing to offer, just that there are pluses in both situations, and as an "older" parent, you should be happy for the pluses that go with it.

Yes I do regret in some ways that our daughter will most likely be an only child, but that (for us) is not just an age-related thing. Again, I think there are happy only children, and not-so-happy only children, just as there are happy/not-so-happy children who have siblings. Each child is an individual and will cope differently.

As long as your child is loved, that's the main thing imho...
:thumbsup:

[ButterflyKisses]

I guess for me I'm feeling sad for my DS at the moment because 4 of my friends have recently had their 2nd little ones and one it's her third (mind you are are all younger than me - 23, 30, 37 & 32) and for the last couple of days DS has been saying when playing with his teddies "Mummy this is my baby, he's a month old" or "Mummy we're playing families and these are my 2 babies" - just makes me feel sad for him.

Luckily he makes friends very easily and has quite a few that he sees every week so that helps that he's outgoing. I take him to 4 activities every week ie. Playgroup, Storytime at the Library (plus they do a bit of singing and a craft), Acrobatics and to a little Singing/Musical Instruments class where they sing nursery rhymes and play drums, bells etc. He really enjoys them all and loves dancing and joining in so I'm very pleased with all of that.

Melbourneprincess you are right that it's quality time not quantity that really matters. I look back and have so many happy memories of my Nana and I guess I'd like my DS's children to have some of me. Nevermind the clock cannot be wound back. I'm glad that my DS will have some happy memories of both his sets of grandparents. I make sure I take heaps of photos and videos so that those memories will be kept forever for him.

[red crayon]

hi everyone, i'm not 40 til next year and spencer will be 2 years old by then. i guess like many of you i didn't think i'd be 37 before i had a child and i know if i'd been able to start a bit earlier i would have more. but i have no regrets. it took me a while to find the right person and the wait was worth it. the kisses i get every day from my little boy more than makes up for the eternal tiredness :D .

[provencein3]

So are any of you ladies in or have been in mothers groups? do you come across many older women with children.

I would imagine in Sydney its not so hard. In fact I have a friend who has a bunch of mothers around her age...she is 40 with a 3.75 year old...that she med at mothers group.

I believe there are quite a few older women in Brisbane as well but its a case of finding the pockets.

One other thing of being older is the age range of parents at the school your child will eventually attend. My niece at the age of about 8 was always concerned that her parents were going to die because they were older. I think her mother was about 44 and her father about 42. Once again not old by comparison to me but unfortuanately in the area they lived the parents were traditionally much younger.

[melbourneprincess]

I'm not in a mother's group, but I think I'm the oldest mother at playgroup - most of the other mother's are probably at least 7-10 years younger than me.

I actually do look a bit young for my age, so I'm not sure if they see me as a lot "older" or not. :o

[Karen301]

Hi, I'm 49 and my hubby is 55, and will be 56 in May. Our little one is just a year old last week, and we are soooo happy. She is our love. We are in the U.S. ..but it seems this is the only forum we've found that addresses parents that are not 20 yrs old or so .. ; ) ..

We just started on this forum, so we have alot to read, and we have LOT of questions, if you all don't mind.

Karen and Mark

[ButterflyKisses]

So are any of you ladies in or have been in mothers groups? do you come across many older women with children.

I would imagine in Sydney its not so hard. In fact I have a friend who has a bunch of mothers around her age...she is 40 with a 3.75 year old...that she med at mothers group.I don't go to a "mothers group" as such but take my DS to "Playgroup" (or is that one and the same thing???) anyway as far as I know I'm the oldest first time mum. There's one lady that goes who's 48 this year and her youngest is 3 but she had 3 other older children the eldest being 17. Her and her DH got a surprise when she was 44 and she fell pregnant - they were done with having kids but have taken to being older parents very well although she had just gotten back into nursing and then had to leave due to their little surprise but she is back 2 nights a week now so she doesn't lose her nursing skills.

[ButterflyKisses]

I'm not in a mother's group, but I think I'm the oldest mother at playgroup - most of the other mother's are probably at least 7-10 years younger than me.

I actually do look a bit young for my age, so I'm not sure if they see me as a lot "older" or not. :othey must be all nice ladies otherwise you'd have left there by now if you didn't feel you fitted in with them so good on you.

my playgroup ladies are really lovely and they never bag me out in regards to my age. If anything they are always encouraging me to have another baby.

my playgroup ladies range in age 23-47 so there is more than a 20 year gap between us all and we all get on really well so I don't feel out of place at all thank goodness.

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi, I'm 49 and my hubby is 55, and will be 56 in May. Our little one is just a year old last week, and we are soooo happy. She is our love. We are in the U.S. ..but it seems this is the only forum we've found that addresses parents that are not 20 yrs old or so .. ; ) ..

We just started on this forum, so we have alot to read, and we have LOT of questions, if you all don't mind.

Karen and MarkHi Karen and WELCOME to Bub Hub. Are you an Aussie living in the US or are you an American??? sorry I'm being nosey

CONGRATULATIONS to you and your DH on your little one.

if you don't mind me asking (and you can tell me to mind my P's and Q's if you like) but was your bubs a natural conception?? Ours is the result of IVF - we tried for 3 years naturally but no luck so we had to resort to IVF which was our saviour as we thought we would never have a child and now we can't remember what life was like without him - he's our little miracle boy.

Hope you enjoy this website, it's lots of fun, informative and very addictive so be warned!!!! :laughing: And there are a few of us "oldies" on here too so I hope you enjoy the surfing with us!!!!

Feel free to PM me anytime you like.

[Karen301]

Hi, and thanks for the welcome. We are American in the state of Ohio, USA, and just happen to find this board.
I'm not familiar with DH ( I assume it's my husband) , and such, but I thought I was 5 months into menopause, missing all the periods, almost, and here I was 5 months pregnant : )..so it was just by normal activity, that we became pregnant. I had our baby by C-Section, since our OB-GYN decided it would be less traumatic on the baby, and also the preferred method at the time for a woman my age, I think it was. It all seems such a blur now....well almost.

Btw, we were not TRYING to have a baby, but we thought to ourselves for a few years, it would be great if we COULD have one. When we thought we couldn't, we were surprised, and super happy too.

[MariaO]

Congratulations Karen and welcome to bubhub - that was some surprise:) . Welcome back to Spencersmum as well. I am in a mothers group and go to a playgroup as well. I am definitely the oldest in my mothers group but not by that much - there are quite a few ladies in their mid+ thirties. I must say, it does not bother me at all really - I don't know that it is relevant but maybe if everyone was 20 years younger I would feel a bit out of place.

[melbourneprincess]

they must be all nice ladies otherwise you'd have left there by now if you didn't feel you fitted in with them so good on you.

my playgroup ladies are really lovely and they never bag me out in regards to my age. If anything they are always encouraging me to have another baby.

my playgroup ladies range in age 23-47 so there is more than a 20 year gap between us all and we all get on really well so I don't feel out of place at all thank goodness.

Well...they are all nice ladies, I don't think I've really 'clicked' with any one in particular, to be honest, but my little one loves going, and that's the main thing.

Oh, and hi & welcome Karen! This is a great site, and it feels nice to find some ladies in the same age-group, I must say! :)

[coogeemum]

Hi everyone!

I'm turning 40 in June and just found out I'm pregant. This is my first. I am so thrilled. Nice work, getting a thread going for older mums. I guess I imagined I would be a parent when I was younger, but it's just taken me a while to find the right man to be a parent with. I look forward to getting to know everyone here.

[lennys mum]

Hi,
This is great forum topic and makes me feel happy knowing we older
mothers are all connecting.

I had my first baby at 43 and am trying to get pregnant at 45 for number two.
Its been a great experience....and am so glad I had no trouble getting pregnant.
Friends my age have not been so lucky.
I would not have enjoyed this experience so much if I had not been older. My little one is reaping the benefits of a happier contented more relaxed mother. So the fact that we may not be around for them later in life is a small price to pay for our experience. And anyway, we'll all be living into our 100s by the time we're old.

I have to say that the hardest thing about being an older mum for me was not really connecting with my mothers group. They were polite but basically didnt really want to get to known me. This has never happened to me before and really made me feel bad. It was a shame as I was hoping for a bit of support like any other mum. I gave up going after 6 weeks. I could have kept trying but to be honest I couldnt see why I had to make all the effort. Who's got the energy!

My parents are too old for any help now so I was hoping to connect with other mums. I guess this is a common complaint for our age. There are older mums out there. they are just a little sparse.
Good to meet up with you all here.

[MariaO]

Congratulations Coogeemum! - you are just about the same age I was when I became pregnant with Aoife - When is your baby due to make an appearance?

Welcome Lennys mum as well, that is such a shame about your mothers group. I did not realise I was so lucky to hit across my mothers group. We still meet up a couple of times a week (those who can anyway) and were all a big support for each other. Especially those of us who were away from home and our parents/families etc.

I do think that I would have been a dreadful young mother - much better now I think. This is going to sound awful, but I think I would have been really resentful about what I had missed out on and would not have had the maturity to handle that.

[melbourneprincess]

So nice to see even more new mums in here! Welcome coogeemum and lenny's mum!!

As I think I said before, this is a great forum. I have only been here a short time but it's very relaxed, friendly and welcoming. :thumbsup:

Lenny's Mum whereabouts are you from?

I think one of the other really hard thing about being an older mum is that your own parents are in (or heading for) their 70's/80's and so they can't provide the help that younger mum's parents probably can. Not true probably in all cases, but in some I'm sure. My Mum is nearly 80, and my Dad in his early 80's. Whilst my Dad has a great time with Holly picking her up and stuff, my Mum is getting a bit frail and has trouble even having her sit on her knee, which is sad. But she gets lots of hugs, lol! :)

Probably doesn't help that they're in a different state to me, but that's another story, lol!

Sorry, got a bit off track there! :o

Anyway: Welcome!!!

[MariaO]

I know what you mean Melbourneprincess, it does not help that mine are at the other side of the world, - I was amazed what an affinity that Aoife has with both sets of grandparents. My hubbie's parents are a few years younger than mine so should be able to bounce and play vigourously for a few years more than mine:) :)

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi everyone!

I'm turning 40 in June and just found out I'm pregant. This is my first. I am so thrilled. Nice work, getting a thread going for older mums. I guess I imagined I would be a parent when I was younger, but it's just taken me a while to find the right man to be a parent with. I look forward to getting to know everyone here.Hi Coogeemum and welcome to BH.

Congratulations on your pregnancy - what a wonderful 40th birthday surprise.

I'm the same as you - took forever to find my *knight in shining armour*. Better late than never as they say. You were lucky you fell naturally. We tried for 3 years but had to end up going through IVF. We were so blessed as it worked the very first cycle.

Make sure you keep us all up todate on your pregnancy and I look forward to chatting to you as well.

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi, This is great forum topic and makes me feel happy knowing we older mothers are all connecting.

I had my first baby at 43 and am trying to get pregnant at 45 for number two.
Its been a great experience....and am so glad I had no trouble getting pregnant.
Friends my age have not been so lucky.
I would not have enjoyed this experience so much if I had not been older. My little one is reaping the benefits of a happier contented more relaxed mother. So the fact that we may not be around for them later in life is a small price to pay for our experience. And anyway, we'll all be living into our 100s by the time we're old.

I have to say that the hardest thing about being an older mum for me was not really connecting with my mothers group. They were polite but basically didnt really want to get to known me. This has never happened to me before and really made me feel bad. It was a shame as I was hoping for a bit of support like any other mum. I gave up going after 6 weeks. I could have kept trying but to be honest I couldnt see why I had to make all the effort. Who's got the energy!

My parents are too old for any help now so I was hoping to connect with other mums. I guess this is a common complaint for our age. There are older mums out there. they are just a little sparse.
Good to meet up with you all here.Hi Lennys Mum and welcome to BH to you as well. Nice to see some other older mums joining in. The group is growing so it makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only *older* first time mum on this forum now.

Congratulations to you too with your bubs. All the best with TTC #2. My DH & I have given up but who knows - we believe our DS was a miracle given the % we were given by our specialist so we'll just wait and see. Would dearly love another one.

That's really a shame your mothers group were not being very friendly. I can't see why some ladies have attitudess towards us *oldies* as these days there are more and more of us out there and after all the only reason they are all there is because of their children and all their behaviour is doing is discriminating towards your child.

Have you tried a Playgroup instead? I hope you find your niche somewhere real soon because it does get a bit depressing as all we are really trying to do is help our little ones make friends. We are always here for you to talk to even though I know that's not the same as having friends to visit and for your little one to play with. Where do you live?

[ButterflyKisses]

So nice to see even more new mums in here! Welcome coogeemum and lenny's mum!!

As I think I said before, this is a great forum. I have only been here a short time but it's very relaxed, friendly and welcoming. :thumbsup:

Lenny's Mum whereabouts are you from?

I think one of the other really hard thing about being an older mum is that your own parents are in (or heading for) their 70's/80's and so they can't provide the help that younger mum's parents probably can. Not true probably in all cases, but in some I'm sure. My Mum is nearly 80, and my Dad in his early 80's. Whilst my Dad has a great time with Holly picking her up and stuff, my Mum is getting a bit frail and has trouble even having her sit on her knee, which is sad. But she gets lots of hugs, lol! :)

Probably doesn't help that they're in a different state to me, but that's another story, lol!

Sorry, got a bit off track there! :o

Anyway: Welcome!!!Yes MelbournePrincess it is great to see some more mums joining this thread.

I know what you mean about having older parents and especially having them live in another state. Both my mum & stepdad are turning 69 later this year and they live in QLD so we only get to see each other anywhere between 2-4 times a year if we are lucky. Fortunately my stepdad is keen on computers so I email them regularly with photos of DS so they can see him as he changes in between our visits. We are hoping this time next year that we will also have moved to QLD but by the sounds of it we may only get as far as Brisbane depending on whether my DH can get a job where my parents live which is in Hervey Bay (inland from Fraser Is). We bought an investment house there Feb '04 with the view that we'd move into it but the rate we are going Brisbane looks like the go. Nevermind my brother/SIL/3kids live there so I guess I'm getting closer to my family.

I also wish I had of been able to have my DS when I was heaps younger so that mum/stepdad could enjoy more quality time with them but it never turned out that way so we just have to make the most of what we are dealt.

[ButterflyKisses]

MariaO must be hard for you having your parents on the other side of the world. Do they have a computer so you can email them updates of you DD? I love all this modern technology for that reason.

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi, and thanks for the welcome. We are American in the state of Ohio, USA, and just happen to find this board.
I'm not familiar with DH ( I assume it's my husband) , and such, but I thought I was 5 months into menopause, missing all the periods, almost, and here I was 5 months pregnant : )..so it was just by normal activity, that we became pregnant. I had our baby by C-Section, since our OB-GYN decided it would be less traumatic on the baby, and also the preferred method at the time for a woman my age, I think it was. It all seems such a blur now....well almost.

Btw, we were not TRYING to have a baby, but we thought to ourselves for a few years, it would be great if we COULD have one. When we thought we couldn't, we were surprised, and super happy too.Hi again Karen. Wow fancy you having to come all the way to the land Down Under to find some older first time mums to natter to!!! I think it's great that you have found us and I hope you decide to stay as well.

Yes DH is short for Darling Husband although from what I can gather on some of the other threads on here some women refer to their hubbies as ***** Head* instead as they are having problems in their marriage or have been arguing of late - bit of tongue in cheek to cheer themselves up I think. Ah well it's all in good fun I guess.

You certainly did have a miracle birth didn't you. But aren't you so glad that it was a baby and not menopause that you were going through. What a wonderful surprise for all your family and most importantly for you and your DH. Miracles certainly do happen!!!!

[MariaO]

They do have a computer and receive photos and little videos. I am trying to get them to use Yahoo messenger but they are a little reluctant as yet.

I do keep in touch with my sister and brothers on the webcam though - it is so fantastic really, makes it so much easier keeping in touch. I chat with my sister and one of my brothers every day or so via messenger/webcam so you keep up to date with day to day chit chat.

[ButterflyKisses]

That's great that you can at least send them updated photos/videos all the time and that you are able to chat using the webcam with your siblings as well.

My mum doesn't even want to learn how to use the computer. Poor dear a few years ago I bought her an answering machine and set it all up for her and even recorded the message but she was still bamboozled with it and unplugged it about 2 months later so now she uses 101 which took a while for her to get used to.

My stepdad is doing a course at tech to learn more about his computer. He updated it recently to XP and now has broadband as well so he's getting there. He's a bit slow responding to email but he'll get there.

I don't know whether I'd be able to chat with him on messenger because he's not real swift with typing so it would be a long drawn out process from his end and he'd end up getting too frustrated.

[MariaO]

that is like the advert where the Son is trying to leave a message to test out the 101 service on his mum's phone. The mother keeps answering the phone. It might have been my mood but I found that very funny.

[ButterflyKisses]

yeah I know the one you mean - very funny!!!! my mum is a bit like that - anything technical and she falls to pieces but put her in the garden and she can make a broom handle sprout!!!!!!!! :laughing: :laughing:

[annb]

hey i havent posted on this bit before....everyone on BH sometimes seems so young!! Im almost 41, have one DS at 16mths and just found out expecting our 2nd in DEcember. Im also from overseas (UK) with both parents still over there missing their only grandson terribly, I havent broken the news about #2 yet!! My DP parents are both passed away so we are all on our own here in Perth!! STill nothing you can do about it is there!!

[MariaO]

Hi Ann, How long have you been in Oz? Are you enjoying it and what was the reason for moving if you don't mind me asking?

[annb]

no I dont mind you asking...ive been here almost 14yrs and came intially on a working holiday visa, met a guy and tahts that...not with the same bloke anymore, we got divorced 7yrs ago. I only thought about going home just after we split up but thankfully changed my mind....I do mis home now Ive got the little one but I dont think I miss it enough to go back and make my life back in the UK again

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi Ann and welcome to this thread.

congratulations on baby #2. What a great surprise. I had my one and only at 41 via IVF. Gave given up hope of a #2 but at least we have our precious little boy.

My mum and stepdad live in Hervey Bay, QLD so we only get to see them about 3 times a year (4 times if I'm lucky and sweet talk DH). His family are all in Sydney so he can see them anytime he likes. Must be hard for you living so far away from your family especially now you have 1.5 kids. Your family will be over the moon when you tell them about baby #2 but at the same time sad that you are all so far away.

Good luck with your pregnancy and look forward to chatting to you.

Karen are you still with us??

[mumat46]

Hi all, I have just discovered this group; so I hope it keeps going.
I am 47yo single mum of 9month boy. I am in a fabulous local mum's group. I rang around the child health centres asking if there were any with older mums in them. Fortunately, I found one that has 5 of the 10 of us over 40. It is just wonderful having older mums to share with. I would be lost without them; they have been a life saver.
My pregnancy went smoothly and his delivery was by c section but went well.
He is a fabulous baby but we are going through controlled crying at the moment which isn't working well. I am about to post on the cc board to see what to do.
Obviously, because of my age, my boy will be an only child and I think deeply about all sorts of issues; guardianship, my own health, his only child issues etc.
But with each of them, I reseach as much as I can to help me make decisions.
Cheers all.

[MariaO]

Welcome Mumat46 and congratulations on your lovely boy. Well done on finding a mums group that suits you - I must say that I have found my one invaluable also - At this stage anyway, I don't really see any difference between my issues with motherhood and the 20 something and 30 something mothers in my group - I suppose as the kiddies get older I might be too slow and infirm to catch my one!

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi Mumat46 and welcome.

I also belong to a great playgroup and we have mixed ages. Everyone gets on well together so there are no little groups that segregate themselves from others.

hope you stay with us and keep chatting to us as we all have something in common and I'm sure share the same worries/views etc and can help each other to perhaps overcome some of our worries etc.

take care and congratulations on your bubs.

[cherylh58]

Hi Butterflykisses,
I'm afraid i can probably beat you all,i turned 47 6 days after my baby son cooper was born:) i have 3 other kids so between my last 2 theres a 12 yr gap,also between my 2nd and 3rd theres a 10 yr gap you think i would of learned:smiliedance: but you wouldn't trade them 4 the world:hugs:

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi Cheryl :wave: and welcome to BH.

Yes I think you can beat us in the age aspect but you've got other children besides Cooper so he's not an only child but we won't hold that against you :laughing:

how did you go with Cooper's pregnancy compared to your other ones? Was he a surprise or planned?

I've got a friend similar to - she already had 4 children and found out that she was preggers again at 44. Her and her DH thought they had finished with their family but along came baby #5. She'll be 48 this year and had to put her nursing career on hold again and has only just now started working 2 nights a week again but she wouldn't change it for the world.

I hope you're enjoying BH - lots of advice, fun, very addictive. Have you been on *live chat* - that's a recent feature which is a great way for you to meet people on here.

If you are into craft there are a couple of craft threads ie. scrapbooking/cardmaking & I think there may be one on beading or someone in one of the threads suggested that one. There's also some good recipe threads & one in particular that's worth checking out now that winter is here is the *slow cooker* thread.

hope to chat to you some more.

[antoniasmum]

Hi Everyone!
I have been posting on Bub Hub for quite some time... but that was mostly on the IVF threads. I am now pregnant with #1 and I am 40... my DH is 49 and this will be his second child. I am pleased to find this thread.... and although I am yet to be a mum, I hope you wont mind me joining in.... If bubs arrives on time, I will be 41 just 6 weeks later.... Life certainly does begin at 40!!! It certainly has for me.... :yes:

[Miaow]

Have to agree life begins at 40 LOL, I had EJ at 40, Im now 41. Took me while to reply on this post but hello everyone :wave:

[ButterflyKisses]

Hello :wave: Ivfmummy & Miaow, welcome to our little thread. We're not always posting in here as you can see - not quite as full on as the IVF thread but it's nice to pop in and chat to the older mums.

congratulations to you both on your bubs. Your life certainly will (Ivfmummy) and no doubt has (Miaow) changed since bubs. Takes a bit of getting use to after being without a child for so long but now for me and my DH we can't really remember what life was like before DS. We obviously don't do all the things we use to but now we are doing a lot of new things which is so much more fun.

Do you think either of you will have any more children? I'd love to but as I'm 44 I think my time has run out. We feel so blessed to have DS so another would obviously be a huge bonus.

I had a great pregnancy given my age (I was 41 when I had DS) and came out of it all unscathed - no stretch marks etc which I couldn't believe - must have good genes or Palmers really works - have been reading some of the posts from the younger mums half our age who have got them so that makes me feel better being an old chook. I remember saying to my DH when I was preggers that if I end up getting huge ugly stretch marks that at least he knew what my body was like beforehand and knew it was because of bubs but even if I had of got them it would have been worth it all.

hope to chat to you both again and good luck with your pregnancy Ivfmummy.

PS Miaow, I'm still having probs with the installation of my printer but I've now been referred to a great US website called The Tech Guys - Computer Help Forum and I've been getting some help but problem still not fixed. I think I'll email HP and get them to send me another CD as it may be faulty. Will keep you posted if I don't commit huri curry in the meantime :banghead:

[Miaow]

Thanks for the Welcome to the thread Butterflykisses:)

At present Im not planning on another but you never know what may happen. I actually had a pretty good pregnancy apart from sore hips and a bit of a BP rise. I didnt get a strechmark also then again i had some real bad ones from when i gained weight real fast in my 20's already i think they compensated in a way LOL Life is a lot different but is a lot better its great watching them grow and learn new things (though they grow up so fast :( )

Hope the printer troubles get fixed up soon also its not fun when things dont work right i know :banghead: recently my new printer/scanner kept not working right i had to reinstall it about 4 times before I could get the scanner part to work ARGH.

[Miaow]

Hmm im starting to think im a thread killer :eek: Its very quite in here - 24 days and no new posts...

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi Miaow
nah you're not a thread killer. I've just been a bit slack with visiting this thread plus I haven't been spending as much time on BH as I had been - been neglecting things at home - amazing how addictive it can be.

I've been getting very domesticated and have been taking down the verticals window by window and soaking them in nappy san to revive them again and so far they are looking almost new given that we bought this unit nearly 10 years ago. I've also been cleaning the windows and gauzes which is very hard to do considering we are on the 3rd floor - grrrrrrrrrrr.

with that almost done I'm now attaching my bar stools and dining table chairs. We bought them from Freedom Furniture when we bought the unit and unfortunately they have cream coloured fabric seats and since DS's arrival they are looking worse for wear so I'm pulling them to pieces and I'm going to soak the fabric in nappy san too and if that doesn't clean them up I'll go and buy some upholtsery fabric and recover them myself.

finally got my printer problem all fixed up. Took my PC box and the printer to Harvey Norman which is where I bought the printer and one of their technicians fiddled with it and finally got the CD loaded on my computer but them when I got it home and set it up I kept getting these error messages again and I was not happy Jan. Anyway I came across this UK computer formum called PC Review and I posted my problem on there and a fellow told me to check to see if I had any updates to be downloaded so I did that and still nothing then he told me to go back in again and select custom updates and sure enough there was a Nvidia one sitting there since 2003 that needed to be updated plus another one so I downloaded them and bingo problem solved. I knew it had something to do with the Nvidia as all the error messages I was getting kept telling me to go to Nvidia Corporations website but I could never download anything from there.

so after all that it is working perfectly and I've been printing photos etc left right and centre.

sorry I've :ecomcity: so much - hope all is well with you and all you other ladies out there. The sun is trying to shine here today and my washing is getting dry so I'm very happy at the moment.

[Miaow]

Its good to know I'm not a thread killer ;) :laughing:

Good you got your printing problems all fixed up now - nothing worse than not being able to print something when you want to :/

I've been doing a but of cleaning also - though havent attacked the windows as yet - i did them during the nesting phase - but i should as they sorta need it LOL

[toblerone]

Hey everyone :) I am a nanny and one of the Mums I work for is 44 with 2 children - a 2 year old and a 5 year old. She and her husband had been trying for kids for 10 years before that without success before she got her miracles!

She definately has a lot less energy than younger Mums but she also has a lot of +ve things that she gives her children - the wisdom that comes from life experiences and maturity, financial stability etc.

Anyway I know there's some negative stuff about "old" Mums in the media but this lady is a fantastic Mum and her children are absoultely gorgeous & a credit to her.

I wanted to say keep up the good work all of you!!! :thumbsup: Age doesn't matter it's how good a Mum you are that counts :smiliedance:

[forever1]

hi there everyone. my name is Ruth from Geelong. im not a first time mum. im 43 and have five beautiful children. their ages are 23, 21, 18 and then wait for it 4 and 18 months. if i had to choose between having the kids younger or older i would def choose older. i am much more patient and really enjoy the kids this time round. im also single this time round so sometimes it is really hard work. i would love to talk to anyone in a similar position.

[Miaow]

Hi Ruth and Welcome:)

Have to say I think I'm probably a lot more patient than i would have been when I was a lot younger LOL

Hmm not many posts for a while in here :(

[cherylh58]

Hi butterfly kisses;
Iwas 6 days short of my 47th birthday when i had my son Cooper last yr so dont feel bad ; i also have 3 older kids 26,23,and 13 its the quality time that you spend with them not how many yrs you have left with them.Being older you are much wiser and not so stressed out and more patient,i must admit he runs me ragged sometimes but i would'nt be without him he's my miricle :yelclap:

[Clarielle]

Hi to all those older mums:

I'm going to be a reasonably young mum (I'll be 23 when baby comes) but I wanted to encourage you that there are other older mums out there. My mother was 36 when she had my brother (that was her fourth child, and I guess 36 isn't really that old! But it seemed so at the time (13 years ago).
Also, my mother in law has a four year old son (conceived and birthed naturally), she (MIL) is 51. Again, this wasn't her first child, but they'll be parents with kids at home into their mid sixties at least!

all the best with your mothering!

Clarielle

[Callian]

Am an older mum (45), I have a 5 yr old and 16 mth yr old sons plus I have a 24 yr old son and a 21 yr old daughter to my ex and my 24 yr old son has made me a grandmother to a beautiful 2 yr old boy:) I would not have it any other way. I love the way my family are, not conventional at all. Talking to my big big boy about teething, toilet training, general baby talk is wonderful. My daughter has decided she will wait before she has babies, I wonder why????? I know I am extremely lucky to have my two youngest, as we all know fertility decreases as we get older, their dad, first time daddy, is over the moon with his boys. Life can only get better.
Cheers,
Janine:smiliedance:

[flib]

I've just had my 3rd child just before my 41st birthday. My son was born when I was 34 and my 1st daughter at 38. I was ready to have kids at about 30 but my partner wasn't ready. We've been together now for 15 years so it was worth the wait!

Sometimes I'm not so sure that I'm more mature as an older Mum - I still get frustrated and yell at my kids occasionally. I do get tired and my last pregnancy just about killed me! But on the other hand I've already got a lot of things out of my system and I'm happy to be at home with my kids. DP and I went out alot when we were younger and had lots of fun. Now it's time for a different kind of fun!

I'd have more kids if I was younger - I could concieve easily but need some space between these kids and then it would be too late. DP is going to have a vasectomy and I'll be back at work in Dec 2007. All that time we were having fun, we weren't paying off a mortgage so we're doing that now too!

I'd love to hear from other older Mums.

Flib

[emmaeliza]

I Had Eliza Just Before My 41 Birthday In September She Is A Dream Baby So Happy I Had Her Julie:)

[emmaeliza]

I've just had my 3rd child just before my 41st birthday. My son was born when I was 34 and my 1st daughter at 38. I was ready to have kids at about 30 but my partner wasn't ready. We've been together now for 15 years so it was worth the wait!

Sometimes I'm not so sure that I'm more mature as an older Mum - I still get frustrated and yell at my kids occasionally. I do get tired and my last pregnancy just about killed me! But on the other hand I've already got a lot of things out of my system and I'm happy to be at home with my kids. DP and I went out alot when we were younger and had lots of fun. Now it's time for a different kind of fun!

I'd have more kids if I was younger - I could concieve easily but need some space between these kids and then it would be too late. DP is going to have a vasectomy and I'll be back at work in Dec 2007. All that time we were having fun, we weren't paying off a mortgage so we're doing that now too!

I'd love to hear from other older Mums.

Flib
SO DID I JULIE