The ramblings of me

[kiwibird27]

Okay so we are starting to think another baby would be good, This one would eat and drink and crawl and wouldn't need any tubes, we have already put in our order to genetics and they give us a 3 in 4 chance of a good outcome, 1 in 4 would mean choosing to abort so we won't think about that. They have said 100% accuracy on the testing at 11 weeks and results back by 13 weeks so all good. My order is well in advance so am sure it will be delivered on time in the right packaging!!! LOL

Megan is starting a lovely occasional care place 4 hours a week, I am VERY happy with them, and we also have respite care nurse available, along with the respite care overnight place once we get onto that list. We can even have some-one to come do the washing if needed so probably better off than most families contemplating a second baby!!!

BUT.....I am terrified of a normal baby, with all there normal baby problems, does that sound crazy, Megan slept 10 hours a night from 1 week old, I have never had to actually feed her (A pump does that), and if I am slightly worried I call one of her many doctors for advice, If I was stressed I would hand her to a nurse and walk out, It's kinda like that going to Holland poem in reverse , I don't know how to be a "Normal Parent", I am essentially a special needs parent, I know no different.

AND..what if I am just imagining Megan is going well, am we end up back in hospital for months on end with a ruined liver and or kidneys, how bad would that b for another child to have to live through?? But people do it and they cope, Just want to be sure Megan is stable but no one can answer that question except god, and he seems to have a rotten sense of humour when it comes to my daughter!!!

But a normal baby would be nice. Thats all, just wanted that all off my chest!!!

So my question............Should we have another baby?????

Normal parents please don't get offended by the term "NORMAL" Religious people don't get offended either...In fact no one get offended PLEASE!!!

[srguitargirl]

Stacey you are allowed to be scared at the prospect of a normal baby but in some ways SN's are just the same just normal just a different normal !
You are a great mum and you know what the "Normal" child would cope if you ended back in hospital for months in fact they would do even better than that they would thrive though learning compasion for others and that no matter what family comes first! well at least you hope they do and if all else fails presents work LOL

Angus dealt fine with Scar being in hospital but he did miss me you just have to make sure your support network is good and that you remember that they know you love them even if your not there 24/7
bbl dh needs the computer

ok dh gone again yahhhh

I think you should go for it and your allowed to be nervous and scared but remember you will love this child just as much as you love Megan and you won't love Megan any less because you have another child it doesn't work like that !

Can't wait to hear you have a BFP :-)

[flyawayfree]

Wow all your thoughts sound like things I have thought lately. You are a wonderful mother to megan and I am sure you would be fine with a 'normal baby'... It is a big step, but honestly you can never know what the future holds, all you can understand is the here and now... I don't have much else to say but good luck with whatever decision you make, and I am glad things are going so well for megan at the moment!

[punkbaby]

Honestly if its meant to happen i am a firm believer in that :) You have gone through so much now as it is and as you say you have that support around you but you have done a hell of a lot (just going on from what i have read etc posts wise) You have been the one there for her and you have raised Megan! I think you can handle a normal baby, (as you put it :) ) if you have done what you have done with megan i think that you can handle anything! It sounds like you have a good support network around you for bubs now which is wonderful, i imagine that support will still be around should you have another baby?

I know that my ds problems are nothing compared to megans but when all his problems started, it pretty much all hit us hard and i had an older and younger one to look after. I know now that nothing always goes to plan, i can have a bad day and i am allowed to have a bad day! Some days at the start i felt like locking myself in a room just so i could stop for 5 minutes or screaming out to the world asking why but we managed and we still do, its not easy sometimes but we do it

Follow your heart! I think that you will cope fine, you know what to do :)

[reAllytee]

Stacey :hugs::hugs::hugs:

You are truly amazing & i really do beleive that you will be a great mum no matter what :yes:

Yep it probably will be hard but yanno what you have coped before & you can again. It will all just be a little different this time, the problems while being problems wont be life threatening or critical type issues.

You will probably have times where you are dragging bub around while taking Megan to appts etc but while again it will be hard at first, you will get there. It will all again become like second nature. Many have to get used to it at a later date or the likes when things happen ( Boof loves all the doctors now lol his baby is currently in hospital with Dr Jackson apparently LOL ! ) it can be a juggling act but bubs will know no different & as long as there is love all will be fine !

You are a great mum so go for it :thumbsup:

[Nowhere]

Stacey

you are an amzing mum to megan and do a great job with her, I can TOTALY see wherne you are comeing from as we are going through the same thoughts at the moment

Megan condition is always going to be like living on a knife edge and you will never know what is around the corner so it does make it hard to think about having another baby, The way i see it is any family with catalogue kids (no one please get ofended) can have something go wronmg and there world turned upside down and have to deal with hospitals and such, the way I see it with what megan has already been through, no mater what the futriue holds you wil cope better than most becuase you have done so wel so far, Yes it would be hard having a child at home and megan in hospital, but you would get through it like others do

As for parenting as a catalogue baby, you can always ask me for advice I know all about them ROFLMAO (kidding guys ) you ar uses to runing with a schedual for Megans meds so you would just have to convert that to feed times instead, we can do a roster to remind you to feed it lol, I would be the same YIKES

If you want another baby dont deny your self that chance becasue of wha might be, as you never know

Pluss magan might like a little bro or sis to look after her when you are old and wrinkly

HUGS darl

[becca022]

I say go for it. I have a SN child & am currently 10 weeks preg with #2.
I'm really scared of this baby having SN too, but if it does then I know I'll cope..... Somehow.
I'm also a bit scared of a so called 'normal' baby too, especially one who can kick me. DS's legs barely move & it makes getting him dressed, changed, into the pram, in the highchair & all that sooooo much easier.
But you know what.... I also can't wait. :smiliedance:

[kiwibird27]

I guess my fears are the same as a parent scared of having a disabled child but in reverse, it just sounds crazy, I know what to do with a disabled child though

Thanks for all your replies

I guess if it doesn't sleep I have the ng tubes left over to make it happen.....LOL, My paed did say she would retire if we had more, I think she was joking!!!!

[naiwen]

I think you would cope well Stacey,
You know parents always think if their baby has to be in PICU or be tube fed etc there is no way they would cope. But you did just as you would cope with a standard issue bub hehe. The next baby may wake in the night but at least Megan will not, some toddlers wake in the night when they are 3!
If you it feels right for you then do it I say, we may be doing the same thing in a couple of years.

[Loopy Linda]

stacey, i think you will never truly appreciate a good nights sleep, until you have spenth months with a newborn who thinks 2am is the best time to play. think how much fun you could have while trying to talk to one of megan's specialists while number 2 is climbing over you to trash office. you know you want a child who will spit pureed peas over you and one to get into absolutely everything they shouldn't.

i am not trying to talk you out of it, these must be some of the annoying things i have had and i bet you are sitting there solving all these eg ng tube overnight!!

you are a great mum, you have learnt how to deal with so many difficulties, time to learn how to deal with the trivial little things eg someone has filled the dvd player with toast ( and left some toast in megan's hand to through you off!)

[Cherylanne]

Hi.
I have 4 kids, 1 SN and 3 with normal syndrome.
I only have 22 months between DS2(SN) and DD2. At first it was hard, but I had a really strict routine and got a cleaning lady. DD2 is the most feral child, she's trashed Dr's rooms, gotten lost in hospitals, & done all sorts of weird things( so far only 2 lots of concussion). Would I have not had her? NO!
After a while I put her in Daycare and did all the medical things on those days, and got respite an other day to spend some time with her.
I was tired and it wasn't easy but being a mother isn't always easy, and 4 kids are tiring, but in the end it is worth it.

[kiwibird27]

Thanks everyone for your replies!!!!! I totally want a baby, just need to b organised

[amyt878]

Hi, it's been a while, I'm here! :)

I had the normal one first and I didn't expect a special needs child, it was really hard to come to terms with.
BUT, chances are in your favour for a normal baby.
It will be hard, but SO worth it and all the milestones to look forward to, etc.
I contemplate a 3rd quite often and that is JUST PLAIN CRAZY TALK!
:hugs:

[kiwibird27]

Thanks Amy , glad to see your still around!!! Hows it all going???