View Full Version : Dont know what to do PLEASE HELP
This is NOT a debate and i dont want anyone debating anyone else that is prepared to give me honest advise.
My 6 yr old son has had infection after infection since he was about 2 and we have always cleaned it right ect... the foreskin was really tight so it hurt him to pull it back so we had only got it to just showing the tip.
Last week he kept scratch and saying it was sore so we went to the doctor andsure enough its infected again but getting worse, the doctor gives me ointment but said i need to get it onto the head so need to pull it back abit.
Anyway this arvo he came over to me saying it was really hurting so i lied him down and went to pull it back to put cream on and he jurked forward and the whole head poped out.
It started going blue and he was screaming in pain and wouldnt let me touch it or put pants on him, so i took him to the ED and after 1 and a half hours and nearlly needing gas and numbing cream he pulled it back, but the doctor said he really need to be circumcised cause it keeps getting infected.
I dont really want to do that but what other choice do i have???
is it normal for the head to hurt???
No idea about this stuff and his dad is circumcised so he doesnt really know either.
TIA
Leashie:flowerz:
shannysmum
31-03-2008, 21:00
yes it is your decision. but i have the thought in my mind that the pain your boy will go through after the circumsition (he will have local i'd say to have it completed) would be minimal and very short lived compared to the constant and recurring pain he has been going through. i know what i'd want to do if this was continually happening to my child. perhaps all he needs it a half one, enough for the foreskin to loosen and able to retract ???
punkbaby
31-03-2008, 21:05
I dont know why you were advised to pull it back with ds we have never done this, he was about 2.5 before he tried to do it, i understand about the cream factor though but i used to put it near the hole and gently pull the foreskin away from the head, this allowed the cream to get inside without causing any damage. As for cleaning we never cleaned it he just used to play with it, pulling it away from the head and this was suficient.
Perhaps over time the pulling back has aggrivated alot of it and caused the problems?
Its a hard decision but i think that i would try leave it alone as much as i could and try put the cream in the way i did with ds, it does work :)
kittykatz
31-03-2008, 21:06
If you trust your Dr's advice, go for it. Don't feel guilty if it is going to help him in the long run :hugs:.
Punky he has only just started pulling it back just enough to see the tip.
blissfullybonkers
31-03-2008, 21:11
if it is for medical/health reasons i would get my son circumcised, but not if there was nothing wrong.
i would maybe see another doc for their opinion too.
someone i know had to get a circ at 4 years old for a medical reason and they put him under general anasthetic, if that makes you feel better, hopefully they would do that for your son if you choose to do it.
goodluck :hugs:
I jus hate the thought of them doing that to my poor baby:(
I dont even no any info on it.
I just know i didnt want it when he was born.
punkbaby
31-03-2008, 21:17
Sorry i read it as it was being pulled back at a young age and figured that could cause alot of problems.
Like i said its a hard decision, hopefully someone can come along and give some advice on how you can try prevent infection etc
:hugs:
With ds he got quiet a few infections so we gave him a salt bath during these periods it seemed to help and so far his avoided the knife but he just jiggles it round and plays and he does do a good job of it :)
I don't think most people have a problem with circumcision itself, if thats what you are worried about people debating? This is completely different than RIC, which is Routine Infant Circumcision (that's what people generally debate on here).
If the doctor thinks it is necessary for your little bloke then you should seriously consider it and if you are hesitant then a second (and third, if you want) opinion might set your mind at rest. Also, take into consideration what your son would like to happen after having it all explained to him. Its his foreskin so he should have input into the decision.
Alot of people are opposed to non-consensual circumcision performed on newborns for no reason, but your situation is completely different :hugs:.
Good luck, you poor thing, it must be awful to have to watch your little boy in such distress.
WorkingClassMum
31-03-2008, 21:32
Ask for a referral to a urologist or a specialist in that area of the body and/or a second opinion as you are uderstandbly obviously hestitant about getting your boy circ'd
Repeat infections are not usual and I'd suspect something else going on within the whoe structure of the penis, and not just the foreskin.
My Bro#1 was circ'd at a late age (7), but the problem was not the foreskin, but a "pocket" at the end oh the ureatha that needed a 2nd op - aparently very unusual.
If in the end that is what needs to be done - then I'd get it done without a second thought. (but definately with a 2nd opinion....)
Thanks guys i feel alot better and calmer, i have never had to deal with this stuff before so i didnt really know where to start, and was starting to panic abit.
I have just found out that the doctor that does them here is a family friend of a good friend of mine and i trust her opinion so thats a big weight off my shoulders as well.
I will just discuss it with the pead before we decide and will have a few big chats with DS.
thanks for the PM rowie
Oh Leashie!
Dont feel bad hun- your not to blame and your not 'doing this' to him. If its a medically advised circ then you know? its gotta be done.
Just get a second opinion or more- see if there are alternatives to surgery that may work? Maybe there might be something one Dr knows that another doesnt?
I hope your ok mate?
I have a friend who has 3 kids, one girl and 2 boys. Her youngest boy has to be circ'd due to recurring infections that wouldn't heal and she felt terrible about it. But her little man was running around like no tomorrow then next day and never once complained of any post OP pain so it probably wont be all that bad.:hugs:
reAllytee
06-04-2008, 23:15
Having been through this its a hard call to make :hugs:
Seek a second opinion if you feel something doesnt seem right & go with your instincts.
Good luck :hugs:
chicky2lala
12-04-2008, 18:35
I don't think most people have a problem with circumcision itself, if thats what you are worried about people debating? This is completely different than RIC, which is Routine Infant Circumcision (that's what people generally debate on here).
If the doctor thinks it is necessary for your little bloke then you should seriously consider it and if you are hesitant then a second (and third, if you want) opinion might set your mind at rest. Also, take into consideration what your son would like to happen after having it all explained to him. Its his foreskin so he should have input into the decision.
Alot of people are opposed to non-consensual circumcision performed on newborns for no reason, but your situation is completely different :hugs:.
Good luck, you poor thing, it must be awful to have to watch your little boy in such distress.
I absolutely agree. This is very different to getting your newborn circ'd. You lil boy has had to put up with infection after infection...he is also old enough to give his input on what happens to his penis.
Do NOT feel guilty if you get him circ'd, and this is big coming from me as im very anti circ. This is very different.
Honestly, if i were in your exact situation, id talk to him about it, and if he said he wanted to be circumsised, i wouldnt hesitate about getting him done.:hugs::hugs:
I think you should not feel bad one single bit! It sounds like your DS is suffering a lot. If it can be fixed then do it. Take the doctors advice. I am a nurse, and i can tell you that chronic infections can lead to a lot bigger problems down the track. Issues that far outweigh the pain he MAY have after the circumcision. And the older he gets, the more difficult it will be to manage. You certainly dont want this issue for your DS when he gets closer to been a teenager. Also, at his age, he will definitly get anaesthetic! This is a medical problem that needs and can be treated. Do not worry about what those who are 'against circumcision' think.
abibelsmum
22-04-2008, 23:21
I'm not into routine circumcision but if there is a medical reason I'd have it done. I agree with Chicky2lala - talk to your son about it.
This must be very hard for you.
One of my little boys has had a couple of infections and they're really painful for us to watch as parents. He's 4 now and since about 3ish the foreskin has retracted properly now and the infections haven't continued.
A Circ would be painful for a few days but, as others have said, if this will stop his recurring pain perhaps it would be in his best interests. My kids haven't been done 'cos I thought it would be painful but if one of them was in pain anyway, and the circ would stop it, I'd have them done straight away.
After all, a circ is not going to have any negative effect on him fully functioning - it's not like he's losing a limb or something !
On the other hand, I'm glad I don't have to make your decision ! I hope the poor little fellow improves soon. I agree about the salt baths, too.
the_queen
23-04-2008, 00:18
After all, a circ is not going to have any negative effect on him fully functioning - it's not like he's losing a limb or something !
I am going to disagree with this - he will definitely be able to adapt to not having a foreskin, but a foreskin is a vital part of the penis.
I'd be PMing MotherNurture for advice. PM me if you want to get in touch with her a bit quicker, she's not on this forum all that regularly. I can point you in the direction of some "anti-circ advice" which is basically advice about all the options you have before you have to resort to circumcision.
The way I look at it though, if a little girl was having repeated UTI's and infections in her genitalia, circumcision wouldn't even be an option - and it should be an equally last resort for boys, too.
:hugs: to your little man for going through this :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
:hugs:
Sanzinoz
23-04-2008, 01:03
Please forgive me if I am not understanding as I have absolutely no experience in this area (yet, as my son is only one.) But if it "popped out" like you say and went blue, does that mean the foreskin was too tight and was "strangling" the head? Cant you get a steroid cream for that to soften and stretch the skin?
MotherNurture
23-04-2008, 01:23
Please forgive me if I am not understanding as I have absolutely no experience in this area (yet, as my son is only one.) But if it "popped out" like you say and went blue, does that mean the foreskin was too tight and was "strangling" the head? Cant you get a steroid cream for that to soften and stretch the skin?
If a foreskin is pushed back prematurely and it's still too tight it *can* get "stuck" behind the glans and this is a serious condition called paraphimosis. There are non-surgical/minimally invasive treatment options but it can cut off blood flow to the head of the penis if it's not addressed promptly.
He's still so young (6) there's really NO need or reason to be pushing the foreskin back at all. For some boys, it doesn't loosen up until puberty---that's still totally within the realm of "normal". If you are trying to retract it or encouraging him to retract it any kind of force can cause microtears in the tip that can be entry points for infection. In addition, if he's retracting far enough to see the tip of the glans and your having him use soap, you may be upsetting the natural flora and ph balance under the foreskin, or he may be getting soap under the foreskin that's impossible to fully rinse off. This can cause frequent irritation that seems like an infection, or you might be encouraging yeast.
BaAm, when you say it "keeps getting infected" do you mean it keeps getting irritated, or is he actually having the infection *cultured* and testing done to determine whether you're dealing with simple irritation, bacteria, or candida (yeast)? What kind of "ointment" were you given? Something like an over the counter triple antibiotic ointment isn't recommended for mucousal skin. If it's yeast, and he's being given an antibiotic that's actually going to make the candida issue *worse*. If it's a bacterial infection, and he's being given an anti-fungal cream that's not going to work either. One of the common issues with "repeated infections" is that many times the doctor's just guessing and the boy is never receiving the appropriate treatment or the treatment gets stopped as soon as symptoms seem gone but the infection isn't actually cured...so a few months or weeks later it "comes back"---but it's really the same, original infection. Does that make sense?
Most importantly though, I'd leave his foreskin alone. Avoid bubble baths. Pay attention to things like laundry detergent he might be reacting to. Don't try to retract it...he should be the first one to do that, and only when it's comfortable, otherwise you (or a care provider) could be inadvertently causing damage/scarring.
(((hugs)))
Jen
The doctors haven't done tests or anything they just said its infected and every other time have given me antibiotics, this time cause he could pull it back enough to see the tip they just gave us cream called "Kenacomb*otic ointment and said to apply twice daily to the head till it clears up.
So i got him to pull it back till i could see the head and put the cream on. Then on day 3 he come to me saying it was sore and itchy and can i put the cream on and he layed on the couch and when i pulled it back a bit he through his hips forward and the whole head popped out and was very swollen and blue, he couldnt even where pants or touch it cause it hurt that bad and when i tried to pull the skin back up he screamed in pain, so we went to the ED and the doc told him if he didnt pull the skin back over they would have to put numbing cream on and do it. But DS ended up doing it cause he didnt want anyone to touch it.
They gave me a script for antibiotics again and said to continue using the cream.
Over the last to weeks he will pull it back in the bath to wash it but not the shower and we have stopped the cream as of a week ago, but he is still always scratching it. I have no idea why but i have told him to when he does a wee to pull it back as far as he can, wee then wipe with toilet paper.
Dont know what else to do, i havent recieved my appointment with the pead yet.
Mummaholic
23-04-2008, 11:57
I would get a second opinion, that would make it much easier to make the decision in a situation like yours.
I don't want my boys cicumcised, but if it came down to being medically necessary reasons I would def want as much info as I could :)
Good luck, I hope all goes well either way. :hugs:
MotherNurture
23-04-2008, 15:36
They need to do a culture, the symptoms sound like it might just be yeast and if so the antibiotics are only going to make it worse.
Jen
Loopy Linda
23-04-2008, 15:59
my nephew has just had the circumsion, exact same situation and he is 6. it did hurt fir a while but it is a couple of weeks later now and he is happy and it has healed really well. the pain from the infections and if this happened again are a lot for a little boy, if the dr recommended it i would do it and none of my boys are circumcised, but if i was in that situation i would straight away
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