sperm?

[starkissed]

hey all :wave:
not sure if i'm in the right section so feel free to move me..
well the time has come in my life where i feel i'm emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially etc. ready for a child.. the only problem is i have noone to make babies with.. :rolleyes:
is there any other single women out there taking this journey on their own? i would love to hear your stories..
i'm not even sure where to start!
the whole prospect seems daunting right now but there is no doubt in my mind that this is what i want... i'm just not sure which way to go about it... donor clinic or private donor.
does anyone know of any online communities on this subject?

[becster05]

Hi Starkissed :wave:

Whilst I am not quite in the same situation as you (in that I am in a same sex relationship), we also had to choose between private (known) donor or unknown donor. There is a lot to think about, pros and cons for both. If you go with a known donor, then you must consider all legal and personal ramifications that goes with such a decision. Does the child know the father, is he involved in upbringing, is he included on birth certificate (i.e. passport and/or social security implications). What happens when/if the father changes his mind on level of involvement, what legal documents are there to protect you (we discovered none really, other than parenting agreements which are not really legally binding) etc etc.

Our original plan was to use a known donor as we were hung up on the ideal of how we would prefer our child to know it's father, know its history etc. When we took into consideration all of the potential issues above however, we were glad to have changed our decision to an unknown donor (On the down side, their is always the possibility of other siblings out there as well though). All in all though, we just believed that regardless of anything, as long as we were the best parents we could possibly be, then our child would be happy and healthy regardless of knowing its father or not. Afterall, there a thousands of single parents out there that do a wonderful job with their children regardless of this.

As far as online communities, I have never really found any particular to this subject. We really only found different legislation and various bits and pieces of info. Sorry I can't be of more help. :confused:

Hope this kind of helps rather than confuses you...... (hope i haven't :ecomcity::ecomcity::ecomcity: too much!!!)

[hoist]

Hi there
You will find lots of likeminded women and a wealth of info here - www.smcaustralia.org (http://www.smcaustralia.org)

Good luck :)

[starkissed]

hoist - thank you, what a great website!! :)

becster05- thanks for your help :hugs:, i've decided an unknown donor is the best option for me, but i'm still so confused as to how to get started.
a couple of questions? do u need to be referred to a clinic, how long is the waiting list and do u have ne idea of the costs involved?
does anyone know of any good clinics in regional nsw or western sydney and is it medicare covered? sorry for all the ?'s lol :ecomcity:

[becster05]

Hi Starkissed

The best way to get started is to see your GP and obtain a referral to see a fertility specialist (FS). Mine is a gynae/obst. that specialises in fertility. Once you have seen your FS, they will run through with you the available options for you. Every clinic is different, but for me they wanted to try artificial insemination 1st and then move onto IVF if reqd. They will also talk to you about the donor sperm and its availability. Each state is different, I think NSW only utilises aussie sperm (in which stocks are pretty low), whereas in Qld they use both aussie and american donors which are shipped in at a price - approx $850 each vial.

As far as waiting lists, I have no idea for NSW. I attend a private clinic (QFG in brisbane) which my FS is a Director of therefore there was no waiting list. I think if you attend a public clinic then you will have to wait.

You will find the costs vary a fair bit between clinics. In your situation, whether you are technically infertile or not will also matter. In order to claim from medicare for fertility treatment you need to be considered to have difficulty in falling pregnant i.e. you have some kind of reproductive medical reason eg endometriosis. What that means is when you pay up front for your treatments, whether it be artificial insemination (AI) or IVF, if you are completely healthy, chances are you wont be able to claim. For AI, we paid approx $690 each go. For IVF we paid $5830 for one cycle. Of course dependent on your situation you will be able to claim a fair proportion of that from medicare, for IVF I think we were out of pocket $2000. On top of that you will also have FS fees, ?donor sperm fee (if appropriate), day surgery fees (also claimable on private health cover if you have it), and medications. Most clinics will have a one off registration fee as well. All in all though it can be a lot to outlay in the beginning, but well worth it.

If you at least go and see a FS, they will definately go through these costs with you. They are very up front about this. There are also other threads on this site that will help you.

I hope this helps in some way!! Good luck matey!!

[Kismet]

Hi Starkissed,
I am single and currently doing IVF. I have PCOS which is a cause of infertility, hence the IVF instead of artificial insemination. I have been on the program for a year and still going. Where are you from? I am in Newcastle and attend Hunter IVF, they have a really good support group for single woman. It was really good for me to attend when I was only in the "thinking of doing it" phase. It helped me decide to go ahead. We meet once a month and a few ladies have successfully had children by AI and IVF. Becster05 explained it all pretty well in regards to obtaining sperm and some of the costs etc. My clinic source sperm from QLD & VIC. The clinic is an extension of Monash in Vic. You can only use Victorian sperm if you are infertile. If you are not it is sourced from QLD but apparently there isn't any available through my clinic right now. It's best to check things out with your local clinics. The Sydney IVF clinic here won't deal with single woman unless they know their donor. Sometimes that is just impossible, so my options were limited. If you have any questions to ask feel free, I will tell you all I can. I will tell you though, it's not easy choosing a donor, it has messed with my head at times, there is a lot to think about and I have found it the hardest decision. The IVF process was easier!:)

[Natalie27]

Hi Im In The Same Situation I Cant Find A Decent Man To Have A Child With Since Most Arent Commited So I Will Try To Do Iui Or Ivf If It Is Possible In Melbourne. I Understand How You Feel But Never Give Up Keep Trying